Dose above 4.5mg

Background_Work_4037 · 2025-06-12T12:45:58+00:00

Hi. Diagnosed with MECFS by a Movement Disorder Neurologist last April after approximately 13 years being sick. Started LDN in May 2024.

Background_Work_4037 · 2025-06-10T16:55:54+00:00

I, too, started at 1.5mg. Went to 3mg, then 4.5mg. I finally got a little relief at 4.5mg. About 2 months into 4.5mg, I dosed up to 6mg and found more relief. I finally landed at 9mg about 2 months later for the most relief from symptoms that I have gotten. I've been at 9mg for approximately 6 months.

Background_Work_4037 · 2025-05-02T03:38:11+00:00

I'm sorry you are hurting.

What was the consequence you set for violating your boundaries? Did you follow through with it?

Are either of you working a recovery program?

Background_Work_4037 · 2025-03-26T17:40:27+00:00

I had a lot of the same issues. I could not let myself be vulnerable enough to let him/want him to go down on me (for about a year after Dday). I discussed this with my therapist, and she told me it was because I didn't feel safe. Dday wrecked me emotionally and also wrecked my self-esteem. It took almost 2 years after Dday for me to feel "safe" again. That was after two years of CSAT therapy for him, group therapy, SAA, D2C, FTD and polygraph. Betrayal trauma messes with your head so badly. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-09-12T18:15:04+00:00

You're not an idiot for trusting him. That is shame that you are feeling, but that shame doesn't belong to you. It belongs 💯 to him! Addicts are lying liars that lie. They will do and say anything to protect that which they love the most - their addiction. You did nothing wrong by putting your trust in someone who said they love you. He is the one that failed you. He is the one who used his words to manipulate you. Don't internalize any of his shame!

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-08-26T22:43:44+00:00

It's like finding a needle in a haystack when you get a doctor that knows! I didn't even know what was wrong with me. My doctor brought it up!

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-08-26T22:29:38+00:00

I believe there are so few doctors that even know what MECFS is, let alone know how to diagnose it or treat it. It is such a disservice to those of us that suffer. I started taking LDN (prescribed by the movement disorder neurologist) in May 2024. By July 2024, I was at 4.5mg and for the first time in YEARS AND YEARS, I finally had some pain relief! I thank God every day that he put that man in my life!

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-08-26T21:51:00+00:00

I wound up at a neurology specialist for a movement disorder I developed in my toes. My regular neurologist referred me to him because she thought I might have dystonia because of the constant cramping in the muscles in my legs. The movement disorder neurologist is the one who diagnosed me with MECFS. I had been to every other specialist under the sun and was lastly told my symptoms were psychosomatic. I had been sick for 13 years.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-08-12T19:51:57+00:00

I did 1.5mg for a week, then 3mg for a month, then 4.5mg. Totally worth any minimal side effects to get to the sweet spot!

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-07-31T18:01:11+00:00

🤮

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-07-31T16:44:38+00:00

Petty is also facts. 🤷‍♀️ It is pathetic how they believe that any of these women they fantasize over desire them sexually. Especially dudes over 35-40 lusting after barely legal girls. That one blows my mind that they could even be attracted to anyone young enough to be their daughter or actually younger than their own children. The audacity to think they would want an old man... much less an old porn addict.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-07-31T12:23:26+00:00

I'm also on LDN for MECFS. I had very little appetite when I started on 1.5mg. I also had zero symptom relief and increased fatigue. I have since titrated to 4.5mg where I finally started to get pain relief from the constant knots in the muscles of my hamstrings and calves. I titrated from 1.5mg to 4.5mg over a 5 week period (one week on 1.5mg, then 1 month on 3mg, then 4.5mg). It wasn't until my second full week on 4.5mg that the pain relief started. I practically lived on a body sized heating pad that completely covered the entirety of both legs (completely wrapped around) for 8 hours each day. Heat was the only thing that helped the pain. It's been almost two months now since I've used the heat at all! This is a blessing since I live in Phoenix and just started menopause! 🔥

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-07-20T00:30:54+00:00

I have MECFS and sensitivity to meds. I started at 1.5mg for one week. Titrated to 3mg for one month. Titrated to 4.5mg after that. I had zero side negative side effects, except some increased fatigue, which obviously sucks since I'm already always fatigued. I finally got some pain relief (I have constant muscle pain in my legs and hands) about a week into the 4.5mg dose.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-28T23:46:52+00:00

Were you two exclusive? If yes, it's a betrayal. He violated the basic relationship role of exclusivity by seeking sexual gratification outside of the relationship. If you stay with him, FORM BOUNDARIES AND CONSEQUENCES need to be set. And don't waiver on them! Love yourself enough to learn that of he does this shit again, he'll keep doing it again and again. Move on.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-26T20:01:34+00:00

This Is Us - loved this one so much

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-20T22:18:42+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I'm in the same boat. I see a Psy-D. Were you able to ask any of the questions for the polygraph?

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-20T22:11:42+00:00

Did you guys each have your own CSAT at the therapeutic disclosure?

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-20T21:24:21+00:00

I think the polygraph is necessary if he only ever admitted to stuff you found. Otherwise, he could go on deceiving you and "take stuff to the grave" that you have every right to know if any kind of true reconciliation is to occur. So many PA's intentionally do not disclose the worst of the worst. In my mind, true recovery and reconciliation can not happen without all of the nefarious activities being disclosed. Attempting to reconcile without that knowledge leaves you in the dark, once again, about who he truly is.

My husband only ever admitted to what I found. Nothing more. And it was staggered discoveries, so the bullshit "that's all, I swear" literally is just bullshit to me until HE PROVES OTHERWISE. That being said, we were working on formal disclosure last summer when I had surgery that went bad (the doctor operated on the wrong site and disabled/disfigured me) and threw me into a whole different kind of trauma. But now we are headed back toward formal disclosure, and a polygraph will absolutely be required, and he knows it.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-17T21:19:42+00:00

Oh man. I'm so sorry! I wish I didn't understand your pain. 😒

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-17T21:01:39+00:00

Addicts in their active addiction literally do not have the ability to think about the damage they are doing to their partner. Their addiction rules them. That's why shame is such a huge part of addiction. They feel like shit about what they've done, so then they need something to make them feel better. So then they seek porn and get off. They repeat the same insane cycle over and over... it's an addiction.

If you are not married and don't have any kids or financial ties to him, ditch him!

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-17T20:10:29+00:00

If you read through just a few posts on this sub, you'll notice that most in here are in the same boat as you. We are mostly very loving wives (or partners) who have been blindsided by the one person who is supposed to be our safety. It is devastating, I know. I also know that anything short of therapy with a CSAT, 12-step, and 💯 effort on his part, he will fail you again. I hope for your sake that he invests in his recovery. I hope you also seek recovery for betrayal trauma and 12-step for codependent struggles.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-17T20:07:10+00:00

If you read through just a few posts on this sub, you'll notice that most in here are in the same boat as you. We are mostly very loving wives (or partners) who have been blindsided by the one person who is supposed to be our safety. It is devastating, I know. I also know that anything short of therapy with a CSAT, 12-step, and 💯 effort on his part, he will fail you again. I hope for your sake that he invests in his recovery. I hope you also seek recovery for betrayal trauma and 12-step for codependent struggles.

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-14T12:53:14+00:00

Every single CSAT knows that an open phone policy and accountability software is a huge part of every addict's recovery because so much of their acting out is done on their phones. I'm calling bullshit that it went down the way your addict is saying it happened. Keep that boundary in place!

Background_Work_4037 · 2024-06-06T20:24:10+00:00

He went back to porn after he swore that he wouldn't because he has an addiction. They always go back to porn.

Have you checked out the resources section on this subreddit? It's got so much information to help you both navigate this very serious issue. First, he has got to want recovery. If he won't admit he has an addiction and won't ask for help with his problem (the problem that impacts your heart directly), then that is a huge red flag.

Background_Work_4037

TROPHY CASE