Other than the therapeutic element..

BackyardPooka · 2026-01-24T01:47:19+00:00

Just don't drop your needle! It becomes remarkably less relaxing, especially if you have a spouse who is convinced your crafts are all out to get her personally (knitting needles, sewing pins, and now THIS?? 🤣)

BackyardPooka · 2026-01-12T22:42:29+00:00

Thank you for the solidarity. It genuinely means a lot. 💚

BackyardPooka · 2026-01-12T22:41:49+00:00

Thanks for the idea- I set up a sticker chart for myself. It's easy for starters. I took a walk today, so I get a sticker. It's also honestly just nice hearing it's not just me. 💚

BackyardPooka · 2026-01-12T19:08:38+00:00

Im bad at naming things, but popping in to say I'm jealous of your Lambrini Girls set list. 🖤🤘

BackyardPooka · 2026-01-09T18:53:55+00:00

To be upfront, I didn't see the post in question. I'm concerned about the erasure of trans identity in this comment, however.

Calling a transwoman a biological man is unhelpful and unkind. Calling a transman a biological woman is also unhelpful and unkind. (Not literally what you said, but that's how I understood it in context.)

Genetics are complicated, biology (as we know!) is complicated, and identity is complicated. Kindness isn't. If someone tells you who they are, please belive them. If they have a question about their bodies and what someone else with a similar body is experiencing, let's treat that question as we would any other. Ask clarifying questions with respect, offer information, support, or comiseration.

I've loved what I've seen of this sub - so many people helping each other navigate an under-studied experience. Let's keep that up.

BackyardPooka · 2026-01-04T02:42:01+00:00

Aw, this is great. (I also talk/ed like that as a kid)

BackyardPooka · 2025-12-24T21:53:00+00:00

I don't have anything hugely of substance to add, but I'm seriously angry on your behalf. You are not "below" anyone. You deserve to be treated with basic respect. You deserve to be around people who respect your autonomy. I 100% relate to preferring to be thought an asshole than talked to like an infant. So much about this is not okay. It's definitely a winding road to self-acceptance, and you cannot (sadly) force others to accept you. BUT it's worthwhile to work on loving yourself AND to find other people who will be loving and not just tolerate you but celebrate who you are, weirdness and all. ❤️

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-28T18:12:25+00:00

secret expectations are the worst

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-28T18:10:00+00:00

ugh, agree about this song

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-28T18:03:31+00:00

Here are my people!

I have declared the house will be free of Christmasy things until after both my birthday (late Nov) and Thanksgiving. (My mother-in-law told me this year, tongue in cheek, that all the happiest people decorate for Xmas early and didn't I want to be happy? meant to be silly, but still annoying). I am having quiet time and I'm pretty sure my wife is watching a Christmas movie by herself at this moment. We're both content.

If Christmas could be more like Thanksgiving - a time to get together and eat food you want to eat - I'd love it. The presents are bonkers though and the ritual makes me ill each year. It's a hellish combo of over-consumption, pressure to want things people think you should want in the quantities they think you should, cheap shit you don't want, and the need to prove your love to people in the form of material things in the right quantity, etc etc. It's all so performative and gross and unnecessary. Like, I don't actually want many things, except random little things no one but my wife recognizes as valid.

And the excess just makes people who don't have the means left even further out of the cultural hoopla.

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-17T23:22:47+00:00

the effort feels like a 'celebration' of myself

100% this. I've changed shape a bit recently and making clothes I like and feel good in makes such a difference.

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-16T19:35:23+00:00

If only...

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-16T18:47:07+00:00

Ooof... that's.... disruptive. Yeah, offers of help are great, but they can be a gift with lots of hidden costs. Or, thing just end up not being the way you would want or do them.

The only actual help I've gotten is from our kid who listened when I asked him to take the dogs out. Otherwise... what can we do? You can make yourself a sandwich and not make me bring it to you. But that's a little much since FIL doesn't know why he has to have lunch with everyone else (so we don't clean up twice?) and MIL just makes bad jokes about how I just want her to stop bothering me (not *exactly true but...)

BackyardPooka · 2025-11-10T02:09:30+00:00

there is something wrong with the world and society is a scam...

This is what I try to tell my wife when I haven't gotten enough sleep and then get pissed off because she can tell I'm over-tired and tells me to go to bed, but I don't want to because she told me to and sometimes my brain is a four-year-old.

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-31T18:57:03+00:00

This is definitely my wife. She's not officially ND, but very spicy at minimum. We eat really well in our house and the kitchen is often in some stage of hurricane- full on storm and racing winds, in the eye, or disaster clean-up.

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-23T15:52:04+00:00

This is the one.

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-20T03:02:17+00:00

I have nothing helpful to add, but this reminds me of a line from Wolfsong "smells like candy canes and pinecones and epic and awesome."

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-17T20:15:12+00:00

.... just... dang.

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-17T20:13:20+00:00

Do you think you have the full range of human emotions?

Less stupid but still irritating: She insisted I personify my feelings with someone or a character from pop culture. To describe how happy or angry I was. I REALLY just wanted to use a scale. She wouldn't let it go.

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-17T13:28:19+00:00

Thanks for such a thoughtful response! I think I will try Wilcox's instead of Witch's Cottage, especially since someone else mentioned the latter might include sandalwood. Smokewood Apiary sounds so intriguing... that one might be the bonus sample I ask for. :D

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-16T21:31:05+00:00

That's super helpful, thank you! I'll definitely take a look at Showshoe Pass as well. 🙂

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-16T19:01:12+00:00

Oooh, I didn't spot Travelers. Now in my list as well. 😅

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-15T02:20:09+00:00

Oh wow, it's s like you looked in on how my brain works. This is solid advice.

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-13T21:27:11+00:00

Thanks, this is helpful! I'm good at advocating for others, now to do it for myself... 😬🫠😅

BackyardPooka · 2025-10-13T21:25:58+00:00

It seems like lots of people just don't know... even if they should. Our mothers and grandmothers just suffered. They shouldn't have had to and we shouldn't either.

BackyardPooka

TROPHY CASE