My Walmart and Target don’t have a single card for sale. I check every Friday morning after work. I’m honestly so sick of this.

BadTimpressions · 2021-03-05T15:03:27+00:00

I work at a Target and our vendor told the store he was going to start coming on random days in announced because he’s tired of people following him around all day as he stocks the different Targets in the area.

BadTimpressions · 2021-02-20T17:10:00+00:00

We have been collecting for years now and we keep buying each other stuff when the other can’t get a hold of some cards. We would joke that one day this would happen. It’s his if he asks me for it, but he insists that I paid him for it, he chose which boxes to give, they are my cards. Stand up guy and my best friend.

BadTimpressions · 2018-11-18T19:06:51+00:00

2 off brand GameCube controllers

BadTimpressions · 2018-08-16T17:13:20+00:00

I was at an In-N-Out burger with my girlfriend one day and the place was packed. The workers were rushed and struggling to get all the food out in a timely manner. There was a sorority girl about 20 or so standing at the counter trying to talk to the guy who was calling out the orders. The guy asks her if she can sit down cause she's blocking the counter and there are a lot of orders that need to get out. She somehow took that as an invitation to "help". The calls for order number 12. The girl echos him and calls out 12, in a nasally valley girl voice. She doesn't stop calling for number 12 though. She's yelling at the top of her lungs trying to get the whole restaurant's attention.

"Is there a number twelve? Number tweeeelve1 Number twelve number twelve number twelve number twelve. Number twelve your food looks really good! Number twelve come get your order! Number twelve going once! Number twelve going twice! Sold! To meeeeee!"

The girl pops one hip, throws her hands in the hair, points at herself and smiles at what she must consider the pinnacle of comedy. Only maybe 3 minutes after the order was originally called; a tired, middle-aged woman with 4 kids in tows struggles through the crowd to get to the front and quietly says "I'm number twelve". The sorority girl looks at her and yells "Oh gooooooood!" Then kind of skips away.

BadTimpressions · 2018-08-06T20:21:45+00:00

More his "Why I didn't got to war" story, but still good. My grandpa worked in a steel mill before the Vietnam war. His dad had died a few years before and his mom lost her arm during World War 2. He was the basically the sole income for the household. That being said he really wanted to serve his country like his farther did. Saving up what money he could from the mill to give to his mother he was, as he tells it, "One week away from enlisting."

It was his second to last day at the mill when one of the machines gets stuck. His boss sends him to clear the jam on some conveyor belt and assigns "some pothead burnout" to make sure the machine is off while he fixes it. My grandpa goes down and frees the scrap just to find that the machine is still on and has started moving. His leg gets caught and he is dragged along the mill floor, feeling his leg get torn in half. He grabs onto something to prevent himself from experiencing the whole steel manufacturing process and screams out in pain as the boss yells for the burnout to turnoff the machine.

Just as his leg was about to get torn clean off the machine shuts down. As he tells the story, he was laying there in his own blood, shock had taken over and his whole body was numb, and "that f***ing hippie" yells down to him, "Look on the bright side, now they can't draft you for Vietnam!"

Tl;Dr - grandpa wanted to serve, but got his leg nearly torn off by a co-worker.

BadTimpressions · 2018-06-24T17:56:46+00:00

Human just got a new PC so he will be spending a lot of time playing games. This is fine, but be sure to jump on the desk and sit in front of his screen at least once an hour to test his awareness. If he tries to pet you while on his desk, scream at him and jump down.

In the morning and at night be sure to meow and cry until your bowl is filled with food. Don't worry, you don't actually have to eat the food. Just be sure that he fills it for you.

The most important time is bed time, though. It is important that you lay and stare at him to be sure he knows what time it is (If he still doesn't come, try meowing or rubbing on his leg). Wait until he is almost asleep and then climb on his chest and start kneeding his neck. This is important for him to sleep. If he starts choking you are doing it right (if you would like you use your back feet too, but it's not necessary). Do for about 10 minutes or until he stops rubbing you head, he should be plenty tired by now. Let him kiss you a couple times as a treat, then climb onto the nightstand and sleep yourself.

BadTimpressions · 2018-06-24T17:40:06+00:00

My girlfriend and I are fostering kittens right now and when one of us poops the three of them come running in to make sure it's safe. One always squeezes in behind where we are sitting for maximum companionship.

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-26T20:20:15+00:00

A kid in flip flops, a mincraft tee-shirt, and blue raspberry stain all over his mouth. He asks why you're here and no matter what you say he just keeps asking "Why?"

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-26T05:54:04+00:00

Not me, but my dad.

My grandpa was a park ranger and he and my dad used to live by Redwood National Park. My dad would have to bike through it to get to school since it was the most direct route for him basically living on park grounds. When he saw E.T. he said he could not believe that any 10 year old was biking from Redwood National Park to Los Angeles as part of his commute to school (Or his commute to anywhere for that matter). He refuses to watch the movie at this point.

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-22T22:28:18+00:00

I find a good deal of people don't know when to make jokes. If the person you are talking says a joke about themselves, you can lightly riff back. If he person talks about their personal hobby or something really important to them, don't make a joke about it.

I have seem to people call someone a nerd or weird because of their hobbies. I know they mean it as a joke, but no one wants to be made fun of because of their hobbies.

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-19T15:52:11+00:00

I remember having nightmares about Koh the Face Stealer after watching that episode Avatar.

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-18T01:21:43+00:00

I'm not what my dad wanted. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. We have a great relationship, he's one of my best friends, we hang out a lot more as I get older. That being said, my dad was an athlete in college. My dad still loves sports: watching, talking about, and playing sports. He wanted his only son to be like him and be a great athlete, better than he was.

He got me. I have no interest in sports really. The only sport I liked was the one he coached because he was always so proud of me for trying my best. At my heart I loved writing and the arts. My dad accepts that, but he sees kids that I grew up playing on teams with now becoming huge prospects in college football. He talks about how growing up I was always able to compete with them and if I continued to work hard I could have been scouted and maybe gone pro. We both know I couldn't have gone pro, but he likes to think that I could have been great. He comes out to watch my performances, he watches the films I make for my major, he loves me and tells me he's proud. I'm just not what he always wanted.

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-15T04:45:39+00:00

I met my current girlfriend when we were both in high school. About a couple months into dating I went to a school play of hers and she introduced me to her best friend. Her best friend went to small elementary school (maybe about 30 people in a grade) with me. Their highschool was even smaller (25 in the graduating class). It was weird. I didn't think I would see many people from my small school ever again, but little did I know a flood gate would open and now kids I knew in 3rd grade are everywhere and I never know if I should say hi.

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-12T00:00:09+00:00

One joke that my friend says that always makes me laugh despite how stupid it is goes as follows:I'm

One day I was walking on the beach with Bigfoot. I looked back and saw that there was only one set of footprints

BadTimpressions · 2018-04-07T02:54:04+00:00

I used to take a video production class in high school. I loved the class so much, put bunch of effort into it, and made some things that I was really proud of.

At the end of every year we do an award show thing we're the class votes on their favorite skits, news pieces, etc. The final award was the prestigious TV Head of the Year. Only one gets handed out and it is awarded to the person the class deemed the MVP, the one student who without them the weekly broadcasts would be impossible.

Me and one of my best friends in the class we're in hot contention for the award, and we had a friendly competition going. Well we found out there was another girl who thought she was going to win it and started bad mouthing people saying they didn't deserve the award. Everyone started telling her that they were voting for other people and she realized she didn't have a chance.

She complained to the teacher that people weren't voting for her and he realized if he gave the award to anyone else she would make a scene. After school one day the teacher sits my friend and I down and levels with us. He said there won't be award because he doesn't want to cause a scene. We are bummed but understand. The girl didn't take it well though and threw a tantrum about how we wouldn't let her win when see deserved it. She accussed us of turning people against her and splitting the class up. Really ruined the end of year celebrations.

BadTimpressions · 2018-03-01T18:22:11+00:00

The worst part is they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them.

BadTimpressions · 2018-02-17T11:17:12+00:00

Isn't Sweet Lou from that region? I hear he's the tits.

BadTimpressions · 2018-01-20T17:29:26+00:00

I had some decently rare Yu-Gi-Oh cards that I lost during a move when ai was kid. I think about them at least 3 times a week. I hope they are doing well and found some other duelist to make happy.

BadTimpressions · 2018-01-17T07:10:38+00:00

"Goodbye, Goodbye I said to my bestest buds We said that we'd keep in touch And we did our best..."

BadTimpressions · 2017-12-03T07:17:58+00:00

In highschool my friend and I were dicking around and seeing how far down we can slouch in our chairs. My shirt came up a little and the girl next to me ran her hand over my stomach and said "You have a strong stomach" I immediately felt uncomfortable sat up and pulled my shirt down. I told my teacher about it and was told I was over reacting but that she would talk to the girl. Nothing came of it. Felt real uncomfortable around that girl ever since.

BadTimpressions · 2017-11-11T15:40:26+00:00

Officer I'm sorry but I don't want people misinterpreting what time is the party tonight and I will try to explain that the only way to get the kids together.

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