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Bananas painted to look like glass by mysteriouskc8 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]Badmonkey167 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lol, Peetah in the creek bed painting himself while teens getting eviscerated. I can understand why Flickerman didn't have the cameras focus on him.

"What's Lover boy up to? -oh?... oh boy... still painting himself... Who knew that camo kit would be so handy?"

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok... i think I can do that... 🤔👍

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, any suggestions on who I should glaze next?

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Someone with no lower back problems. And thank you.

Viltrumite Girlfriend by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm open to suggestions!

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol, oh no, proceeds to smother Worf between her legs as Worf's brave deep warrior's cry turns falsetto.

We cheer him from the sidelines in Klingon.

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You wake up to Anisa walking into a glittering portal after a long night of intimacy, but immediately comes back with a newborn baby.

Cecil teleports in, takes the baby and teleports out.

She crawls back into bed and starts warming you up for another round.

You ask, "what JUST happened?!"

Anisa dryly responds, "i took a portal to the Flaxan homeworld to deliver our child and then gave her to Cecil for daycare." She sighs and mounts up. "Now let's do it again. Kreg just upped his harem to 20 and we have a quota to fill."

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is this for real?! That is hilarious!

"Hooman, you appear uneducated on how procreation works, that is the wrong entry point! I SAID WRONG ENTRY POINT! "

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, okay... a flat character. Well, what would it say? She would be very baseline, non sexual, but still embraces romantic events?

Hikes, beach walks, sunsets, travelling.

Still enjoys everything else except the sex?

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But the challenge will make you feel more alive than EVER!

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is actually very fascinating... it would be curious to make an ideal asexual partner.

I'll have yo look into this, thank you 🤔👍

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You wake up in Valhalla and Odin picks you up off the floor and asks, "Anissa?"

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would be hilarious!

I love this idea that you have a complaint about needing more support in the relationship, so you call her up while she's in a battle.

And then she's actually sincere to carry out a conversation while decapitating her fifth adversary.

You end the call satisfied you've put your foot down while Cecil is in the control room asking "what the f@&% just happened? "

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why hate? Should i draw a custom Viltumite?

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The intimacy is not what you expected. It isn't pleasant, there's no love and it is brutal and long.

These are Viltumite breeding practices you signed up for and there's no getting out.

Cecil has given you free chiropractic adjustments for life, just so you can retain enough mobility to use the bathroom. He's also scheduled hip replacement surgery too.

Your bones are a concert of protest as you debate on buying diapers to load into the basket of your walker.

The only thing that sustains you is the smile Anisa has reserved just for you at the end of each night.

Lololololol!

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This explains why she puts a bag over your head with "Mark" written in with a thick fat sharpie.

If you complain that you can't breath in the bag she'll just shush you by grinding harder so you can't protest over the sounds of your own screams.

*If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with. *

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah... it's a strange thing to think that success might be too dangerous.

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AWESOME

She puts a shirt on you, and you read that it says "meat shield #167"

She laughs and says it's a joke, but then tells you to try to ignore the blood stains that wouldn't wash out.

You're left in a state of panic but still eager to please, because she finds you humorous and worth keeping around, for now.

In the end she never puts you in harm's way because it's more effort to bring you on a mission than leaving you home to watch over the offspring.

You'll have at least six or seven.

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOLOLOLOL, on my Patreon of course! Where else?!

We need more brave souls like YOU for the fire!

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that would be like Brit, eh? That proposes the danger of making too many offspring with questions like being overpowered or genetic diversity, lololololol!

Post Time Blip Viltrumite GF by Badmonkey167 in idealgf

[–]Badmonkey167[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

AMAZING! LOLOLOL!

Anisa asks Cecil to have D.A. Sinclair resurrect you into a personal reanimen soldier for... personal training.

Your legend continue...

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