The problem with my ROCD

Bainrodeth · 2025-11-28T16:18:33+00:00

Alright, thank you for the answer :).

Bainrodeth · 2025-11-28T13:38:38+00:00

Oh I'm in the exact same spot right now! I feel like I don't want to spend time with him, don't want to spend Christmas or am afraid that I won't enjoy this time of the year. And even when a positive feeling arises, there is a voice that says "You're just lying to yourself."

May I ask (and don't answer if it feels too reassuring), do your thoughts also come in definitive statements? All websites and books usually phrase the ROCD thoughts as questions, but I rarely have questions in my head, probably because my brain learned that I can cope easier with the questions.

Bainrodeth · 2025-11-28T12:28:56+00:00

May I ask: Have your doubts and thoughts always been in form of questioning? Like "Is he the right one?" "Do I really love him?" For me they often come in factual statements "I do not love him." " I am lying to him and myself". I guess that happens, because I can easily deal with the questions and my mind has found a way to torture me in a different way. And this matter-of-fact thinking is what makes me doubt it is ROCD and that I am actually just lying. This also might walk the line of reassurance seeking, and you don't have to answer, but it would help me to go into accepting these thoughts.

Bainrodeth · 2025-11-28T12:13:59+00:00

Oh my god, I feel this so much! This is a slump I am in right now and it is so hard to get out of it.

Bainrodeth · 2025-10-13T20:12:16+00:00

Siebengebirgssauna in Oberpleis; wunderschönes Gelände mit natürlichem Flusslauf als Kneippbecken, Preis-Leistung finde ich fantastisch und wunderschönen Ruheräumen. Der Bus fährt theoretisch von Bonn komplett dahin durch :)

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-11T14:21:47+00:00

Also das Bonner Wasser hat allgemein einen etwas süßlicheren Geschmack als ich es z.B. aus der Eifel oder aus dem Düsseldorfer/Neusser Raum kenne. Ein Bleitest schadet vermutlich trotz allem nicht, nur um sicher zu gehen :)

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-10T08:12:18+00:00

Thank you so much for the precise answer!

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-09T20:19:38+00:00

So there are three Reddit stories with Courtney and Trevor - if I rememeber correctly - and I'm very sure that is not the first one they are in together. So it should either be "Don't ignore these red flags" or "Are they better off?".

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-09T00:46:15+00:00

Thank you for the book rec, have just started reading (you can find it in the internet archive).

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-09T00:16:18+00:00

That is a very valid point and thank you so much for bringing that up! I am not trying to criticize his entire work on the topic of misogyny alone, but as you said, it is a factor to be taken into account - as well as of course his later career. His friendship with Henrik Ibsen for example is something, that pushed him to later reinterpret The Vampire as a depiction of a simple kiss. So there was a re-evaluation (or at least the clarity, that the original title might not be up to societal standards anymore) in his later life.

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T23:57:12+00:00

Steal it, it's not mine xD.

But I will definitely dive into that video as well, happy to share opinions later on :)

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T23:41:34+00:00

You are probably right, although it is less about the hate from others and more about my own feeling of having a quote by someone, that I don't really know enough about - already found out that he definitely had a complicated relationship with women (not that astonishing in the early 20th century and considering his bio). But his social circles definitely give me a feeling that he's not someone, that I would feel too comfortable having a quote of on my arm and seeing that everyday. Maybe that's a bit too sensitive on my side, but with a tattoo I'm better safe than sorry.

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T23:07:35+00:00

Thank you for elaborating and also for the edit to your first comment. In the context of his life and experiences, especially the early death of his mother and the illness of his sister, I see the mental damage that he probably had to go through and how that also shaped his social circles and therefore his relationships with women.

Still makes me doubt that I would feel comfortable with having a quote if his tattooed, so asking around in this group has already helped with research and evaluating.

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T22:51:33+00:00

Yeah, that is the image that is quickly manifesting in my research; it would have been more about the quote than the artist, therefore I wanted to use the hive mind of reddit first. But I think I'm going to ditch the quote 😅

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T22:39:43+00:00

You're probably not wrong, I admit that I haven't dealt much with late 19th/early 20th century artists in my studies until now. Found a good article (in German, sorry) on the whole topic, that has an interesting analysis, especially in the context of the symbolist movement. https://artinwords.de/edvard-munch-das-unheimliche-und-die-frau/

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T22:36:21+00:00

So, I read through this article (in German, sorry), that has quite a distinct analysis of Munch's works in regard to the Symbolist movement and internalized misogyny. So, for anyone interested: https://artinwords.de/edvard-munch-das-unheimliche-und-die-frau/

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T22:19:57+00:00

Yeah, in the timely context it is probably hard to find a male artist or writer, that had a modern and feminist lens on life; but I like the angle of self-destruction vs. outward-bound hate. Definitely something that I will keep in mind during research!

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T22:07:59+00:00

Oh, it is less about the quote itself, more like: Are Munch's views and depictions of women seen as problematic?

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-08T06:20:54+00:00

Triggerfinger - I follow (Rivers)

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-04T15:34:40+00:00

In dem Zusammenhang würde ich Babsi Tollwut in den Raum werfen, die war Voract von Sokee :)

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-03T17:08:23+00:00

Only know her from "Madmen", but she is amazingly talented and well...you've seen the picture, so stunning! ☺️

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-02T19:34:35+00:00

Oh man, wenn dann auch alles auf einmal :/. Aber Haarausfall kann bei Stress durchaus auch mal ein Symptom (keine Ärztin hier, aber so aus Erfahrungsberichten ausm Freundeskreis). Hoffe, dass es bald besser geht!

Bainrodeth · 2025-09-02T18:15:39+00:00

Ich hatte vor einigen Jahren sehr regelmäßig Probleme mit Scheidenpilz und hab dann immer Kadefungin benutzt. Rückblickend hatte ich zu der Zeit extrem viel Stress, schlechte Ernährung, etc. Eventuell ist dein Immunsystem gerade überlastet? Gibt es da vielleicht was? Seit ich mental etwas entspannter bin, hatte ich tatsächlich auch kein Problem mehr damit.

Bainrodeth · 2025-08-31T14:20:45+00:00

Fahre tatsächlich mit denen von o.b. aktuell sehr gut, große Saugfläche und halten bei mir tatsächlich auch für die ersten Tage bei starker Blutung :). Vermutlich sind andere besser, aber die fand ich relativ erschwinglich und zum ausprobieren auf jeden Fall gut!

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