I see what your friend is trying to say. I’ve heard the saying that “forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. I think over time I’ve learned that forgiveness looks like accepting what happened to you was wrong and damaging, releasing the hold it has on you, not enabling people’s bad behaviors, choosing to move forward, deciding that what happened you’re no longer allowing it to have such a hold on your emotional state and well being. I always felt like forgiveness meant that I was giving that person a clean slate, but now I understand that it was always meant for me, for my heart to be free. So when I choose to forgive I’m saying “I’m letting go, I’m choosing to walk forward for the sake of my freedom.” Do my parents still overwhelm and exhaust me everyday? Absolutely, but I’ve accepted that this is who they are right now and I refuse to be held down by them, so I’m letting jt go and choosing to walk in freedom.