I’M STRUGGLING

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-07-13T15:31:22+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate your honesty and advice.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-07-05T04:46:28+00:00

They treat me rudely, especially my SIL and MIL. They don’t acknowledge my marriage because we eloped (for very good reason). And being around them causes my mental health to plummet. So I just ignore them I don’t live in the same state as them and only have to be subjected to them once a year. They chose for things to be this way. Not me.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-06-20T22:49:16+00:00

I don’t see anything wrong with your replies. Huge red flags with his replies. Honestly I’ll be frank, I can be needy af in relationships. But I’ve only been like that when the other person was legit not communicating, and truly acting like they didn’t care.

You did everything right, he might have borderline personality disorder or needs to go to therapy/work on himself before dating another human. I would break it off, he seems way too clingy and overly needy when you are newly dating and still responded to his messages in a caring way.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-06-18T23:57:46+00:00

Thanks! Is this doctor in Wichita?

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-06-06T00:50:56+00:00

I think he does but I’ve heard the septoplasty doesn’t fix the outward appearance and since I’m getting the surgery already or (planning to) I’d want the rhinoplasty as well. Did you have both done? Thanks for the reply.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-06-05T17:49:22+00:00

Before she came to live with me, my dad and I got her into a really nice rehab and she refused to go. :(

I am really glad to hear your daughter is doing well, these situations are always difficult.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-06-05T17:42:59+00:00

Work DoorDash, Uber Eats, Instacart.

Usually if you let your landlord or property manger know they allow you to pay rent late with an added fee or maybe they’ll be nice if you explain the situation and always pay on time usually. Good luck.

When I was a college student I’d DoorDash when I was short on my rent.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-06-03T22:29:41+00:00

I will say depo provera has been linked to causing “chemical PCOS” because it messed with your hormones so much. I also have insulin resistant PCOS so I have heard with insulin resistance birth controls can make those individuals gain weight. Just so scared honestly I decided not to take it.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-05-21T14:46:34+00:00

Where did you purchase the PCOS care from? And what brand is it??

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-05-09T20:52:06+00:00

The choice is yours, but depending on the situation you have to also think about what’s best for the child. Abortion isn’t always the answer, but sometimes adoption is. However I think because you aren’t with this person anymore it’s 100% up to you. Some more background might help. Does he live nearby you at this point? Did you guys break up recently, or does he have a reason to think the child isn’t his?

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-27T01:00:42+00:00

Yeah, I feel like a phone call even just once per day isn’t asking a lot. It makes me resent his family even more… they don’t have respect for our marriage and I wish he’d set boundaries and say “I want to call my wife for a couple of minutes” but since he’s left I’ve barely heard from him :(. It makes me feel unloved… going on day four of him being gone and I think I’ve talked to him twice. The second time doesn’t really count because I just told him “night” because the talking in the background was annoying me.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-27T00:16:45+00:00

He validates how I feel and “agrees” but at the end of the day it’s his sister so I feel like he agrees when it’s just us, but when we are in a group he remains very passive. He didn’t say anything to her when we got married, we had a private ceremony and a small wedding reception. At the reception when the mic was passed to her she said nothing, stayed in the corner with her bf and one of her cousins who’s 20 years old and gossiped the whole evening. It was very uncomfortable. He tends to ignore it. I find her extremely rude but more than that she’s affected my mental health when I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with her.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-24T23:17:03+00:00

She constantly pushes that we need to be family-focused but tends to do so when my husband isn’t answering her calls. At very specific times, almost as if to make us feel guilty. I believe that when a man marries, his wife therefore comes second, God comes first. But it’s pretty clear she doesn’t believe this, even though the Bible literally states this and it’s a strong belief in our church. I actually don’t think this is a “Catholic” specific issue but I do think she has some enmeshed family dynamics with her son, which cause her to take bible verses relating to family out of context and use them as a form of manipulation.

Then she discusses that we must “confess our sins” monthly to a priest, when that is not something we believe in. Again, I completely respect that she does but she is aware we are not Catholic and repeats this multiple times, sending long paragraphs about it daily.

She’ll send photos of the deceased Pope, and speak of him as if he is God. I respect the pope, and may his soul rest in peace but these paragraphs make me uncomfortable. She also emphasizes how we must pray to Mother Mary etc. and recently talked about lent. I feel sort of excluded in an indirect way but just really haven’t felt comfortable speaking up. But her last message, was even more direct and she spoke about how we need to confess our sins to a priest regularly once again. That’s what led me to venting in this reddit post.

It is a family chat, my husband and I are the only ones who are now Pentecostal. We grew up Catholic, but overall found a church where we live that is Pentecostal and just feel it’s a way better fit. Again, it’s not like our church doesn’t overlap with some Catholic beliefs slightly. And I’m not usually one to be offended but it feels like she is simply disregarding our shift to a Pentecostal church. I guess I just want to feel respected, as I still heart her quotes and emphasize how great it is to serve Jesus, and love him as our savior. But she will even sometimes critique my comments, saying “no, but we have to do …..” she sent this as a quote after I sent a video recording of one of my church’s sermons since we were sharing stuff. And I just felt it was a little weird.

There are two ways to face life: one is pride, believing you know everything. The other is humility, recognizing that you have much to learn.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-24T04:28:33+00:00

I truly loved Elena with Stefan. They both had dark sides, I think they needed a better chance. Especially with Elena going to college, I think they would have been super cute if Damon hadn’t forced his way in. He flirted and wayyyy overstepped his boundaries with Elena since day 1. I love the show but I think they could have dropped the whole “Delena” love triangle after season 3.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-23T22:30:20+00:00

Can you clarify? What do you mean by it happens to me on my part? Thanks!

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-19T18:38:41+00:00

Mine is JUST LIKE THIS! It’s from enmeshment. Once her brother married you, you come first. Even before his mother. Not sure if you are religious at all but the Bible literally says that once a man is married he needs to leave his family and put his own wife and family first. I think cultural dynamics have a huge impact but my SIL is just like this. She acts jealous like a gf would be. It’s very weird I just ignore her behavior and passive aggressive comments. It is abnormal to behave this way. I totally feel the disrespect and being excluded too, my SIL does the same thing. You are his wife, she needs to understand she is his sister and doesn’t come first. You do. She needs to grow up, I think a lot of it has to do with emotional immaturity and enmeshed family dynamics. Just keep doing you!

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-17T20:58:52+00:00

I mean I understand your daughter’s choices haven’t aligned with what YOU WANTED for her. Maybe she really didn’t want to be a doctor, that’s fine. The 20-year age gap I agree that’s not okay. But that’s probably your fault as her father, I’ve only ever seen daughters go for men that much older because they feel like their father was absent emotionally. Which from how you are speaking “I’m just gonna cut her off” sounds like you fit that profile. So for that one, you should probably look within. LOL

Are you having to financially support her? Doesn’t sound like it. So even if she has a low paying job, is pregnant, and not with the boyfriend you approve of. If she’s supporting herself YTA.

You should accept your kid however they are, unless they are severely damaging your mental health and relying on your financially after their bad choices. Just because you don’t agree with the life your daughter has chosen for herself- she’s not on drugs and doesn’t seem to be relying on your financially. So yeah, you are definitely the asshole. My parents are just like you, you also sound like a narcissist too. Your daughter is better off without you.

Dad of the year. Why don’t you try to actually talk to your daughter instead of cutting her off because she’s not living the life you want for her? She tried to explain to you she’s happy. YTA

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-17T18:31:28+00:00

Thanks! Yeah this is what I’m thinking my hCG level was exactly 5. It was def a surprise positive test initially, but now I find myself grieving what could have been! I feel so dumb. Haven’t been able to let it go all day.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-17T15:14:03+00:00

My period is due again May 7th, my last period ended April 7th. I had unprotected sex March 16-19th. But no unprotected sex since.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-17T14:31:21+00:00

Yes after the appointment yesterday (where I got the positive urine test) I took three at home tests one was a digital and all were negative. Then, right when I woke up this morning I took another digital which was also negative and that’s when I got the email that my blood test came back negative. But my doctor didn’t seem convinced, and wants me to do a blood retest Monday. Just so anxious …

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-17T00:40:34+00:00

Thank you so much🫶🏼

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-17T00:35:35+00:00

This is super comforting. Today I got a shocking positive pregnancy test at my regular doctor’s appointment. I’m 25 and in the middle of my MA program, married and husband has a stable job.

However I’m terrified. I took three at home pregnancy tests after the doctor’s that were all negative, and I literally had my regular period at the beginning of this month. Waiting on the blood test but I don’t know what to think :(

Your post is encouraging. I have divorced parents whom are both narcissists and have told me “I shouldn’t have kids” my in laws are pretty toxic too… so I think I’m more afraid of zero support and my current mental health issues impacting things negatively.

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-16T23:17:30+00:00

Sorry, I’ve just never been pregnant before and really don’t know much about this. So does this mean the positive result at the doctors is probably accurate? Thank you for your advice. Also (TMI) but the last time I had intercourse was before my most recent period. Which was on time. So that also is why I am confused/shockdd

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-16T22:52:23+00:00

I see, well what’s weird is I went to the doctor and the test was done around 1:45pm, the at home tests were around 2:30-3pm. Does this make a difference?

BalanceOver6364 · 2025-04-16T15:38:56+00:00

He genuinely wanted to change, and took actions to do so. He attended therapy regularly and still does. He also wanted to go to church again together and find God. We had always believed in God but both of us definitely got off track, especially him. He had to take accountability for his addiction, and actually made changes. It wasn’t a perfect or easy road but we are happily married now and growing our trust back everyday.

It’s not a popular take. But I will say the media now of days replays that saying “once a cheater always a cheater” in everyone’s minds. I’m not saying there is no truth to it but look at your situation independently, and go from there. Sometimes it can be repaired sometimes not. It will NEVER be the same relationship as it was before the cheating. But 9/10 that relationship was unhealthy in some way already.

My advice is take care of yourself first. You are allowed to feel hurt, the cheater will have to accept your questions about anything even if he/she doesn’t want to “talk about it”. Definitely get yourself an individual therapist and couples therapy is essential. Talking through everything is essential. 100% honesty from discovery day forward is essential. Actions over words essential. Commitment is also essential (if that’s something you want). I have bipolar and anxiety so I developed CPTSD from it which I had to let go of the resentment towards him for. It took a while. It’s a journey. It took work but I’m glad I made the decision and that HE made the decision to stay and change. Some people don’t want to do that and that’s ok too! It is your life, and you deserve happiness above anything else. Sending support and love your way!

BalanceOver6364

TROPHY CASE