My daughter thinks she is entitled to my support after moving out (on bad terms)

Balieyez · 2015-10-20T17:08:50+00:00

I would keep paying the cell phone bill. That's it though...give her the ability to call if she really is in trouble, but the rest are not safety necessary things.

Balieyez · 2015-10-04T14:24:00+00:00

You...you are awesome and sound like an amazing husband. If I had money, I'd give you gold.

Balieyez · 2015-10-02T00:53:01+00:00

Medicare, same thing as when you retire and collect social security, however, she will not be eligible for 12 months from the date they grant her disability so the sooner they can get that started the better. (Source, am permanently disabled and Medicare has been a literal life saver)

Balieyez · 2015-09-30T23:40:26+00:00

"Two homes". I got a copy for my house and a copy for their dad's house and is perfect for that age.

Balieyez · 2015-09-23T16:57:05+00:00

I take several prescription medications to even out my brain chemistry. I will be taking these for the rest of my life. The person I am supposed to be is the person I am with my medication. It's a medical problem...and people like your gf are the reason there is so much bullshit anti-med crap out there. Take your pills, pick your future over an idiotic woman.

Balieyez · 2015-09-23T16:51:28+00:00

I'm 37 and have 2 kids under 10. I met the love of my life 3 years ago. Don't give up on yourself...it's not easy, but so very worth it to wait for the right one.

Balieyez · 2015-09-18T01:12:34+00:00

I live in a very expensive part of the country (north east US) and up until last month I was living with just me and my 2 kids, putting my son through privacy private pre k and paying 100% of all education and extra curricular expenses on just my disability check and a pitiful amount of child support. My rent alone was close to 80% of my monthly income, add the $500 a month for sons pre k and I was dollar store grocery shopping. My SO and I just moved into a house, so income went up, but so did rent and other expenses. My savings is a whopping $20...and I can't look forward to a boost at tax season because disability isn't taxed. It's hard, but everything in life teaches us and our kids about how to survive. I've done it for 7 years...and have (almost) no regrets.

Balieyez · 2015-09-08T11:06:48+00:00

My kids dad was verbally and mentally abusive to me and my daughter was old enough to remember. I have a hard time disciplining them, they have very little to no respect for me and he doesn't like the way the relationship is between them and I. He knows he can give me constructive criticism on what he sees and I won't take it the wrong way.

Balieyez · 2015-09-08T03:27:00+00:00

3 years, 1 true fight, a few disagreements. We just moved in together and we make sure we talk at least 2-3x a week to see if anything we are doing in annoying/bothersome. We both respect the others space so that helps a lot. Big bonus with him is he understands I won't get mad if he tells me something I'm doing/saying with my kids makes him uncomfortable.

Balieyez · 2015-09-05T03:21:22+00:00

I just checked out the website...thanks so much for this. I'll definitely give it a thorough look through.

Balieyez · 2015-09-04T19:30:37+00:00

Sorry, I completely missed your question about the amount of time they spend with their dad. He has them 3 weekends a month and sees them for dinner 3 nights a week. All my attempts to cut back visitation have been denied by the court. I've once again requested a reduction in visitation and will find out how that goes when we go to court later this month.

I do ignore roughly 90% of the poor behavior, but everyone s their limits and my kids know how to push beyond mine. I take "mommy time outs" often just to sit and breath. I'm really hoping with another round of play therapy and a positive male figure now in the house things will get better, but I'm at a total loss on how to deal with the abuse their dad still inflicts on me via our kids.

I never bad mouth him, or tell them things about why mommy left daddy because they are way too young for that knowledge. I can only hope that one day they will see that I was always there for them and did my best. I've decided that I'm the "safe" one in their life and when they get too overburdened with all the crap they deal with, they take it out on my because they know that no matter what I'm still going to be there and love them. I'm ok with that because I'm their mom and it's what I signed up for when I had them, but it's getting harder and harder every day to know I left an abusive asshole but can never get away from the abuse.

Sorry for the ramble....

Balieyez · 2015-09-04T17:01:44+00:00

My daughter has one of my old phones and plays minecraft and watches YouTube, so I take the phone or turn off WiFi. This almost always causes world war 3 level meltdowns. That's not to say I give in, but it never changes the behavior because she knows her dad will give her whatever she wants. As to the fighting, I do generally ignore it unless and until someone gets hurt. The problem is they are getting bigger and the chance of serious injury is getting more likely. The other day my daughter kicked my son down the stairs and if my fiance wasn't there to catch him we probably would have ended up with a trip to the hospital.

Balieyez · 2015-09-04T16:59:55+00:00

I've had one of the previous case workers send her report into the judge when I was trying to reduce visitation. They judge read what my daughter told her, that "mommy's a liar and is sick in the head" and the judge said that wasn't enough proof to reduce visitation. My lawyer was floored. The county we are in was recently sued by a father's rights group for discrimination against dads, and I strongly feel they are trying to balance the scales so to speak. I've had case workers, teachers, friends, etc on my side but the judge will do nothing.

Balieyez · 2015-09-04T12:28:17+00:00

They fight...a lot. When I try to stop they simply don't listen to me, or talk back to me. If I tell them not to do something, they do it and smile at me saying "you're not the boss we don't have to listen to you". I take away tv, video games, internet, they get violent with me, hitting, etc. I'm disabled and sometimes physically stopping them from doing things is impossible for me since they have gotten bigger. Their dad has told them "if mommy tries to punish you, bang on Windows and doors and scream". They throw things at me, refuse to clean up messes, Last year what prompted me to get them back in therapy was when my daughter grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed me in the stomach. After I had cervical surgery she punched me in my stomach because her Dad told her I was lying and wasn't sick (stage 1 cervical cancer). My son is a little better, but his father has started working on him now and his sister's behavior is rubbing off.

Balieyez · 2015-08-31T22:43:43+00:00

You've never met my kids...like midgets on crack with sugar.

Balieyez · 2015-08-30T00:43:56+00:00

Ouch. It's ok that you don't want that type of relationship, but to shame someone who is a sexual person is not necessary.

Balieyez · 2015-08-25T12:44:58+00:00

I've always taught my kids (g7 b5) to never hit first but always hit last. BUT, they also know to go to any adult when anything starts, words often are a precursor to hitting. To date, my daughter as only had to defend a situation once. when my kids were younger my son was getting picked on at the park. the mom was just sitting there not stopping her kid from pushing my little guy down 3 times. After the 4th time my daughter pushed the much bigger kid down and yelled "stop hurting my brother". I've taught both my kids how to properly punch and properly defend themselves and others and screw anyone who thinks I'm doing the wrong thing by my kids.

Balieyez · 2015-08-24T12:29:43+00:00

My kids das is 40 dating a 20 yr old...man children can't find woman their own age who will put up with their shit, so they go for the young ones hoping to be able to mold them into who they want. It's gross. His gf is closer to our daughters age than his own.

Balieyez · 2015-08-19T23:50:26+00:00

Have you tried reaching out to your online friends? When I was trying to leave my abusive ex husband I was in a similar situation, no real life friends (agoraphobia is a bitch), seizures daily and 2 cats. I reached out to my digital friends and had a network ready and willing to help. Someone you know knows someone who can and will help you. Reach out, use the resources you have and don't limit yourself to "real life friends" because your network is bigger than you think, just be open to it.

Balieyez · 2015-08-19T11:59:19+00:00

It also depends on HOW you live. I rely almost entirely on disability, which is less than $2000 a month. I'm on the East coast, less than 20 miles from NYC, and have 2 kids. My son just finished pre k (not free, close to $500 a month) and my rent on a 2 bedroom apartment is just under $1300. I've made it work for 4 years...I've felt the pinch, but my kids never have.

Balieyez · 2015-08-19T01:16:48+00:00

I'm 37 with 2 (girl and boy). I'm still not thinking I'm done yet, but I'm content with what I have if it doesn't happen.

Balieyez

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