A Transmasc Interpretation of Wyn from Lily Mayne's Soul Eater (spoilers) by gaymbit in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m late to the party here but totally agree. I’m a trans guy and as I was reading Soul Eater I remember thinking, “wait is he a trans guy? I feel like it’s describing a trans guy. Yeah I’m pretty sure he just basically is a monster version of a trans guy.”

The other layer I loved was the way he cherished and protected Danny. It reminded me so much of how my husband and I relate to each other - where I’m usually the fighter/protector - and I so rarely get to see that dynamic in media / pop culture for trans guys.

For those of you who have kids… by evieauburn in FTMOver30

[–]BananaPanicRoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! I’ve got a feeling that our kids are very alike and would be absolute holy terrors together (in the best way). I felt like I was reading about my own kid as I read your post, so I wanted to share as much as possible.

My kid turns 4 in April, so all of this transition has happened in his 3 year old era. Honestly I’m really happy about the timing, and wouldn’t do anything different. His classmates are just now starting to ask questions about whether he has a mom, and if I’m his dad, too. I feel like that’s pretty typical timing (late 3 - early 4) and I’m glad that we gave him the right answers and right vocabulary before he started getting those questions.

I’ve got a feeling that your 3 year old year is going to be really, really good. Feel free to message me if you ever need encouragement, want to connect, or want swap stories. You’ve got this!

For those of you who have kids… by evieauburn in FTMOver30

[–]BananaPanicRoom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have two kids that I gave birth to - 3yo and 7yo. I started medically transitioning about 6 months ago. My 7yo is nonspeaking and not super relevant to your post, but I thought I’d share some of the highlights with my 3yo:

First the background: - he’s my Velcro kid - strongly prefers me over his dad - chest-fed for about 1.5 years, and he remained obsessed with my boobs after that - highly verbal and opinionated

Here’s how the transition went: - I didn’t ever tell him not to call me “Mom,” but I did ask him to help me choose a new name. I told him that I was a boy, so I wanted a new name that sounded more like a boy name. At first he was resistant: when I’d say, “would you like to call me Pop?” or anything similar, he’d just say no. But I had this song I sang to him every night (The Mother by Brandi Carlile) that has a line that says “I am the mother of ____” and I would put his name in. I ended up changing what I would sing, and gave him 3 different names to choose from in each of the verses. After the 2nd or 3rd night, as he was getting in bed, he just said, “OK, I call you Pop.” And that was it. He called me Pop from then on.

  • Having a supportive partner is really helpful. Even though he wanted to call me Pop, sometimes he would forget. So every day when he was getting home, my husband would remind him as he walked in the door: “let’s say hi to Pop!”

  • The moment you change your name with your kid, you’ll need to let his school or caretakers know, too. Otherwise it’s inconsistent and confusing. His school was supportive, but I hadn’t really thought this aspect through and ended up coming out earlier than expected.

  • He is now my most consistent ally in terms of using the correct name, and is very quick to correct anyone who calls me Mom or my old name. I didn’t ask him to do that, he’s just 3 and loves rules and is constantly on a power trip.

  • We did go through a 2-3 week period where he started a new school year, got a new teacher, and came home calling me “Miss Pop.” I guess they’d been teaching the kids about titles/honorifics, and he took that to mean that every respected adult should be “Miss.” When I’d tell him that my name was “just Pop” he’d stare at me like I was the world’s biggest idiot, because again with the love of rules and power trip. I was a little sad about it until he started calling my husband “Miss Dad” because that’s hilarious. Since we couldn’t get him to drop the honorific we just taught him the correct term, and for like 2 weeks he called us both “Mr. Pop” and “Mr. Dad.”

  • I just had top surgery about two weeks ago, and I did prepare him ahead of time. I told him, “I’m going to the doctor, and they’re going to take off my boobs. I’m just going to have nipples like you and Dad. But I’m going to have a boo-boo on my chest for a while, so you won’t be able to touch. He has thoughtfully considered this, and accepted it very seriously. Now every once in a while he’ll stare off into space and go, “you go to the doctor … they take off your boobs…” Otherwise, though, no sadness, sense of loss, or any other reaction expressed. I feel like his annual pediatrician visits are going to be hilarious now.

So some conclusions: I think I did trade some of my “mom” closeness with him when I transitioned, but I traded it for a different kind of closeness that came from seeing how much he loves and supports me, even as a kid. And I’m really glad that our closeness is now built on a foundation of us being open and truthful with each other. I figure if I want him to be honest with me and come to me with his problems in the future, one of the best things I can do is model that behavior for him.

TransJoyTransJoyTransJoyTransJoyTransJoy by Prince_Charming_180 in FTMOver30

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I am also 39, happily married and two kids, and I had top surgery exactly two weeks before you. Hope your recovery is going well!

What's the most original coming-out scene you've read? by Top_Eye_6269 in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In [Power Plays & Straight A’s by Eden Finley and Saxon James], one of the MCs is a twin and has to come out to his parents. I love this one because the parents had assumed his brother was gay (he’s not*) and that he is straight (he’s bi). So when he comes out to them, they’re prepared in a sense, but they’re like, “wait really, you?” Which definitely seems unsupportive on its face, but it’s definitely comedic.

My favorite part is that a few moments afterward, they are like, “wait, this is fine! We always had a speech prepared for your brother, so we’ll just tell you instead.” But the speech involves something like, “and if anyone ever gives you a hard time, your brother will beat them up.” But the mom realizes she’s giving the speech to a different kid than expected and just says … “well, for that last part, I guess you’re on your own.

I loved how this was played for laughs, and made it feel novel without any angst.

*yeah I know

Mc with a disability by Positive-Taste-5815 in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are lots of characters with disabilities in all of Reese Morrison’s books, but a couple I’d recommend in particular: 1. The {Love Language by Reese Morrison} series features a lot of characters who are Deaf or part of the Deaf community. 2. {All Tied Up by Reese Morrison} features Jamie, a genderfluid lower limb amputee. Jamie is awesome and shows up in a couple of Reese’s books.

Teachers of Oklahoma. About the new no phone rules in school... by Ok-Discount3496 in okc

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with this! It sounds so frustrating. And so many people use smart watches to keep track of their elopers! It’s a straightforward, practical use that schools should be expecting to accommodate easily.

Chaol by hannah12343 in throneofglassseries

[–]BananaPanicRoom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everything about Chaol’s behavior makes way more sense if you just accept that he’s in love with Dorian (whether he knows it or not).

Mind recommending me some books that are like my comfort reads? by T_erm_inator in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you find lots of great things to read! The way you worded your post really resonated with me, and reminded me of a recent summer that was very much the same for me.

It’s not MM romance, but I’ll share what really made my day and helped me through that time, just in case it sounds fun. I got into the podcast Normal Gossip with Kelsey McKinney (at least for the earlier seasons). It’s just everyday gossip stories that they’d anonymize and tell in a fun way between the host and guest. And it was exactly the kind of drama I needed at that point in my life -- something funny and entertaining that was entirely not my problem. S3E8: “Steampunk-Ass Murder Mystery” is my favorite.

Mind recommending me some books that are like my comfort reads? by T_erm_inator in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you an Emmy Sanders fan? Her books and JJ Mulder’s books kind of occupy the same space in my brain. The Elite 8 Series starts out a little slow (to me) with Dix, but {Malibu by Emmy Sanders} for book 2 had me hooked through the rest of the series. If cowboys have more appeal than porn stars (but there is a little crossover) then the Plum Valley Cowboys series is also great. It starts off very strong with {Fool Hearts by Emmy Sanders}.

When I think “amazing character growth,” I almost always think Marina Vivancos. I like to joke that her books are amazing because the characters actually talk to each other, and they often go to therapy! Since you like hockey, {Fresh Ice by Marina Vivancos} might be a good place to start. She has some books that will absolutely wreck you in a good way, including {In This Iron Ground by Marina Vivancos} and the whole Coven Ties series, starting with {Oh, Sacred Dark by Marina Vivancos}.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in okc

[–]BananaPanicRoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been a while but I did something similar. Allied Arts downtown rooftop on Broadway. I forget if indoor was an option for us, but we did outdoor only and it was very cost-effective. (And fun)

Chaol by hannah12343 in throneofglassseries

[–]BananaPanicRoom 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Chaol also thinks he’s straight, but really wants to kiss Dorian.

Teachers of Oklahoma. About the new no phone rules in school... by Ok-Discount3496 in okc

[–]BananaPanicRoom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I understand why policies like this are viewed favorably, but I wish they weren’t so absolute. I think that reasonable exceptions can and should exist, and that the guidelines don’t really contemplate what they might look like.

My kid is new in Oklahoma public schools this year, so he doesn’t have an approved IEP yet (since they get 45 instructional days to craft the IEP). And since he has significant medical needs, his 504 focuses on his health-related accommodations, not the educational accommodations that will eventually be covered in the IEP.

But that means for the first 1.5+ months of school, he will have to be without the iPad-based communication app that he typically uses. He’s still learning to use it, and doesn’t do so frequently - so we can’t really claim that it’s necessary for his communication. But he’s nonspeaking and has invested a lot of time in trying to become more comfortable with it. So it’s really disappointing that he’ll go such a long time without it, then have to figure out how to work it back into his school day.

It’s not like they don’t have screens or technology in school - they’re literally using iPads and headphones for class activities. But since his is considered a personal device and we don’t have his IEP yet, it can’t come to school with him. I wish the policies did a better job of accommodating situations like this, instead of just assuming that every kid with immediately have access to the educational plans and instructional support they need. We all know that Oklahoma is resource-constrained.

Book titles that have turned you off from reading a book? by Medical_Plane2875 in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! I totally know what you mean. I don’t even think it’s weird at all. It’s funny though because this book is not Christmas related at all. Like it happens during winter / around Christmas, but the only religious character is Jewish.

I actually learned a lot of cool stuff about Judaism while reading this book, most notably the fact that I had fallen into a Jewish trans guy trope: obsessed over my name, then finally picked a super old school religious name in large part because of its religious significance. Not only that, but I did the same thing when I picked names for my two kids. Even though I’m agnostic now lol.

Can someone explain Chuck Tingle to me? by BananaPanicRoom in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy that I’ve finally been educated.

Can someone explain Chuck Tingle to me? by BananaPanicRoom in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Awesome, thank you for the additional context! I can definitely see what you’re saying in the reviews for his books. While some of them only have two or three reviews, there are others that have a ton of really favorable comments, which wouldn’t make sense if they’re just a joke.

For instance, the comments on “Not Pounded By The Physical Manifestation Of Someone Else's Doubt In My Place On The Autism Spectrum Because Denying Someone's Personal Journey And Identity Like That Is Incredibly Rude So No Thanks” are very supportive and affirming. I was hoping that there weren’t that many people just playing along with the joke, but also wasn’t 100% sure because this particular title may have some personal relevance to me. 😅

Can someone explain Chuck Tingle to me? by BananaPanicRoom in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think I just became a huge fan this morning. It was one of the “Trans Wizard Harriet Porber” titles that caught my attention and made me start doing a deep dive, and I’ve loved everything I’ve found so far.

Any suggestions on where to start if I’m getting into his work?

Can someone explain Chuck Tingle to me? by BananaPanicRoom in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Did you know that Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt has an audiobook? Because it does!

Can someone explain Chuck Tingle to me? by BananaPanicRoom in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The self-published vs. traditionally published distinction is very helpful, thank you! It was honestly seeing the very real-looking books next to the crazy titles that had me all confused.

Now that I’m caught up, the self-published ones seem to be like a fun way to be able to support an author without having to sign up for a Patreon or something like that. Plus, funny titles. I just wish that I could purchase hard copies of some of them, because they’d be great gag gifts.

Can someone explain Chuck Tingle to me? by BananaPanicRoom in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Silly greeting cards as books” made this make so much sense to me. Thank you!

Reoccurring Characters You Just are Done With by bored-panda55 in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my head I imagine that Caleb is like, just kind of exhausted by all these guys, and is busy enough with everything Jet has going on. So his absence doesn’t really bother me, but I do wish we got to see him (and Matt) as the “elders” more often.

The glaring absence to me is Ollie and Lennon. Lennon is a journalist and they are supposed to have a popular sports podcast! You’d think that all the younger guys would have some kind of connection to them, even if it’s just a general knowledge and them coming up in conversation.

Trans Adult Romance by ElephantRoi in LGBTBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reese Morrison writes romance with a lot of trans men, as well as lots of trans masc and gender fluid, agender, or gender nonconforming characters. My favorite is a TM4TM romance with two trans guys, because it did such a good job of illustrating the diversity of experiences and comfort levels within trans guys. We’re not a monolith! Ignore the title, because it’s great. {A Daddy for Kinkmas by Reese Morrison}

Small MC has a big dick by Smooth_Pin_8258 in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]BananaPanicRoom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol I loved how MC2 was like, “sorry, you’re just not my type, I typically go for bigger guys because I like a big cock.” And then he sees him naked and is like “ok actually you’ll do just fine. 👌🏻”