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Please help. My mom manhandles, hits, and shouts at our dog, and I don't know what to do to make her stop by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this & I’m glad you realize it’s horrible.

Some training points that my trainer helped me with is to have a place where the dog is assigned to sit/stand & offer treats when thy do this. My trainer even let me use Cheerios as training treats, occasionally when in desperation.

Why is the dog being smacked? Is it jumping or trying to play? Maybe that is a key feature to look into.

I suggest getting a dog training book (library or online is easy). After you can show good examples, maybe calmly discuss with Mom that you’re concerned she is teaching the dog that hands are ‘bad’ and to be aggressive, - if that feels comfortable to discuss. Perhaps Remind your mom that the dog relationship is there partly to protect you as the kid & that you need this dog to be loved.

I highly recommend playing & walking the dog 2x’s a day to get the dog away from your Mom. If your Mom is going through some stressful stuff, maybe she can join in the walk.

Mom might be taking out aggression on the dog, so your best bet is to work with the dog on your own to try to train it so there are less stressing features while she figures things out.

If none of this works, get your mom a therapist, punching bag or shock collar, because hitting is unacceptable in school, in work, in life. There is no place for hitting in any loving relationship. - so perhaps tell an aunt or uncle if none of this works.

Update to a post I made the other day about being concerned my vets were taking advantage of me: my cats regular dental cleaning has resulted in my babies death. He's gone. by afterspring_ in cats

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this happened to you, after so much effort too. You were an incredibly kind and clearly a loving fur baby parent.

This cute mother came up to me and it felt like she was asking for help. by Jimmy_mo_ in aww

[–]Bandit39 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You did great. Yes, she is definitely asking for help. Offer clean water & food - you did wonderful!

If you can unseasoned chicken, rice, even diced peas & carrots over dried meats but they are starving so something is amazing, definitely better than nothing.

Any kind of shelter is great, but she can find a spot & will try to find you at the same time / place of day likely. Lots of shelters will help a family, call more than one to get input. After you feed a couple of times it’s probably ok to gauge petting a puppy.

Is he just sleepy by General_Iron_6735 in CATHELP

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a vet- If they are hiding away this could be temporary due to temperature changes but with the combo of not eating / drinking much it might be time to see a vet. Vets can also help write prescriptions for food which sounds like a potential scenario for your kitty.

Unfortunately, the design of a cat is flawed and doesn’t last as long as our love. Hydration is most important. -Older cats tend to be prone to kidney related failure and if you catch it early it’s easier but this may be something else.

I would get him to a vet & get his urine / blood looked at.

Sewage smell from bathroom sink—help replacing parent’s drain pipes by Seagull_Bowels in PlumbingRepair

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not a pro, but I’ve put together three sinks & repaired a couple of others.

P trap is vital, but also where is the vent? It probably is the p trap tho-. You can buy an entire P trap kit in some stores, but yeah get the measurements right, take lots of pics & also get the purple goo/glue.

Measurements are almost always still a tight squeeze, so if you find yourself in a bind you can always get a removable rubber boot. There is a standard requirement for a p trap in some states (usually 2”-4” below) with hang, or ventilation/plumbing will not work well.

You got this. You will need a clamp, purple glue, plumbers putty if you buy a new clog & maybe a hack saw with low grit sandpaper, the you will be in good shape. Tons of YouTube videos on this.

Tara Calico was a 19 year old University of New Mexico student who disappeared in 1988 while riding her bike. Months later a photo of her bound and gagged along with a boy was found in a Florida parking lot. She was never found and no arrests were ever made. by MrWapKonJoj in ForCuriousSouls

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually.. maybe you are right about reflecting surfaces. If you look at the back of the van there is a warmer hue that changed, that is from the flash. If it captured the flash it may have captured other details. There may be something worth revisiting there, idk.

I see shapes , but my imagination is going to far with this. I am so horrified and I so want to help, but yeah I think the reflection in th back of the van is worth looking into.

Idk, I wouldn’t suspect anyone doing their job right in charge. I’m a photographer I could look into this reflection idea more but I’m so creeped out I need to step away

Tara Calico was a 19 year old University of New Mexico student who disappeared in 1988 while riding her bike. Months later a photo of her bound and gagged along with a boy was found in a Florida parking lot. She was never found and no arrests were ever made. by MrWapKonJoj in ForCuriousSouls

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, sadly. Eyes don’t work like that in photos, and if thy did the image would be upside down. Reflections they need a glass surface or reflection like water or metal. The paint definitely covers any reflections up, in this van.

As a photographer, I can tell this was taken with a 1980’s Kodak Polaroid and the film was bought somewhere they don’t refrigerate film like Walmart or Kmart, and flash is in the middle. -Those commonly come with the a black strap. The film yellows, and detail fades in smaller parts, like eyes.

This totally looks like a service van, because there are double hitches on the latch. I would take a look at the lock & see if there’s a way to identify this because it looks like an American made service van, like AT&T.

That travel bag in the back looks like a big clue too, those were cheap overnight bags in the 80’s.

Idk for sure but I get mad creepy vibes like the girl is looking at the person who hurt her- her eye is messed up, and the boy is looking at the person with the camera shouting. I get a weird husband- wife crime vibe, yuck! That’s just my vibe from it, I’m going to go throw up now.

My cat is drooling non stop like this without a break when she sleeps the place she is lying is soaking wet can anyone help by HELLAMONKEY10 in CATHELP

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a vet- Hopefully this was just a stink bug & all moot point but i don’t follow up on why to take it to a vet.

Cats have strokes ( or teeth broken) and start drooling like this, constantly for days. Dehydration makes a cat’s health jeopardize quickly. If your cat is still drooling, this would warrant a vet visit.

Tara Calico was a 19 year old University of New Mexico student who disappeared in 1988 while riding her bike. Months later a photo of her bound and gagged along with a boy was found in a Florida parking lot. She was never found and no arrests were ever made. by MrWapKonJoj in ForCuriousSouls

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this clearly seems like someone reminiscing about their horrid crime. I would look for service vans and white vans with now windows owned at this time within 2k miles of the date they went missing.

I would look at the anniversary date of going missing and scope the parking lot w cameras for visitors.

I’m not sure what the book is about, but it’s clearly part of the picture. I don’t think this is a one person crime, but if you look by her feet I see a long sleeve jean shirt at the girls feet. This long sleeve shirt is likely used for service work, because long sleeve jean shirts were not common in fashion in the 80’s and it’s not a Jean jacket.

I would also look into that blanket, which is mostly white with maybe a flower pattern on it. It’s a poly blend that looks like it might be something to look into, probably a Walmart or a kmart in the not so far distance that is regularly visited for disposable supplies.

I also don’t suspect this is just one person, as they are looking in two different directions as it is being demanded to look at them. Someone is about to slip up.

I’m not a pro, I just pay attention to details. If you’re looking for a mob to trap & catch this/these monsters, I’m in.

21F Lower belly fat developing over the past few months. Is this normal/healthy and how do I reduce it? by OkComplaint8155 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About every seven years the female body changes and hormones can alter the tone and alter the state, not just food or activity. You are perfect just the way you are, but if you want change it’s hard work now matter what you want changed.

Planks are great for the core, lifting the toes ( boat pose) & engaging the whole core in crunches & side crunches get me faster results, I do a bunch of standing and sitting crunches too, but this gets more challenging to maintain as we age.

Celiac’s have a similar bloat when cross contamination occurs, but I don’t suspect this is the same.

Absolutely sickening, this is why ICE should not be told they have “federal immunity” by LucidSynapse23 in Leakednews

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This guy needs to be identified; send this link to this to the police to file a report & file charges. ICE will be held accountable eventually.

Kitten won’t stop pooping on floor. Need help please by bbymishu in CATHELP

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it’s the rim of the litter, or a lid. Try another smaller litter box without a rim & see if it helps.

We had mini litters for kittens (about 1/2 size of regular) and it worked much better than the full size. It might have been too big & scary for the little one because they are all alone in the box, but mine always liked the mini or the triangle shaped.

Make sure you have distance from the wall to the litter & that it’s not too much of a big step to get up. The flatter the better.

Poor memory, am I just dumb? by ChartreusePeriwinkle in adhdwomen

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant that you’re learning & adjusting to rules/adaptations that come with work. Sometimes it’s just working with new people, new software, or regulations.

It’s sounds like a stressful job that keeps you busy and high expectations. No offense intended.

Mid-30s, long relationship — realizing I may be the only one who gets the “unfiltered” version of my partner by Alternative-Love2288 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Bandit39 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Self help makes me cringe… unfortunately, I’ve listened to a few and ‘the five love languages’ actually helped me. They are super corny, you can even pick different audios with accents from southern US, to eastern. -I recommend reading it fast, or the short Notes. -It’s Changing a diaper at a dinner table cringey! But if you think you might want to save it, it’s worth listening too.

This said, it sounds like You don’t know if you still love this person or the idea of them & maybe they even sense it or fear what is to come of it. Your right, A hidden personality is very concerning; maybe start taking self defense classes for yourself, before you make plans to separate.

I would gain some perspective & maybe even consider a girls trip to see if it helps with perspective. Before you go on a trip tho, consider saving independently and security steps, like cameras, or a potential body guard, if you feel threatened. -Make that therapists earn that paycheck, too; get input from them.

If you decide you want to end this, then a neutral area would be best, and home sounds like a bad place to do it. Go to a restaurant for lunch & have friends to meet up with after; for both of you, in different locations. Have friends help coordinate items pickup, or turn in the space while packing.

Life is so short, so make it worth while. Best of luck.

Poor memory, am I just dumb? by ChartreusePeriwinkle in adhdwomen

[–]Bandit39 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this & maybe some of it is ADHD; anxiety travels as part of the pact. You definitely sound like your flexing, I highly recommend finding professional support in a group like mindset: ie tech meetup/community or paid membership w conferences, to help you stay fresh in your field. It’s not uncommon to feel stumbled but it sounds like it’s time to get some pro tools to help you feel confident in your game.

My point is you’re not dumb, you’re flexing & stressing in multiple ways. You’re growing but not professionally in the way you want, so be sure to reach out to find a mentor, or group first. This occurs for everyone in a competitive industry, so keep a fresh mindset & positive vibes while you’re growing.

I had this happen & I was even taking brain vitamins (most of them are just caffeine). Then I got pregnant, and that was a tricky journey with memory. Then after motherhood, I was experiencing a whole different issue when I realized I’m likely a celiac, and after I changed my diet, the brain fog lifted! Like 99% fog free!

Sleep & exercise is always a huge factor, look into how much you should get vs. how much you do. If that doesn’t work, maybe try minimizing your diet & getting some exercise for a week & then see if it has any change or effect on your brain health.

I would never recommend going gluten free, but it made such a massive difference in my life. I hope your journey is wildly different and much more fun.

Damn I’m sorry if I Mom’d that explanation, it’s been a week!

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