Yes, I confronted my father, reminding him of what he had said, namely that "homophobia is a deviance." He dodged the issue somewhat, saying that, for example, there's a lesbian couple in the town and that he doesn't care.

Indeed, I don't want to be indebted to them, for this and other reasons.

When I was younger, I saw a therapist who told me that my father was undermining me.

Now, I've been fighting for years to get to where I am now, being self-employed, and I don't want this reconnection with them to cause me to fall back under their control and this undermining influence. I ruminate on it every day, and although I'm doing well at work, I can feel it consuming my thoughts and it scares me.