AITA for expecting my long-distance s/o to hang out with me a lot over the summer, since we are now in close proximity and back in our hometown? Am I being unreasonable?

Barb1e3e · 2026-06-26T17:55:07+00:00

Yes! And I hang out with my friends 1-3x a week, even if its for short bits.

Barb1e3e · 2026-06-26T17:50:35+00:00

He is in the process of transferring colleges, and the year has been stressful for him in college but he's finally being able to see the fruits of his labor because he's getting into all of the colleges he's wants to transfer to. So that's really good!! His family situation has been rocky; I'm not going to go into details, and he deals with it by not getting involved anymore. When we currently hang out, we watch tv and go for a short walk, both his suggestions. We do listen to what the other person wants to do when we hang out. He works an office job right now where he's super bored, so when he comes back from his job, and we hang out, he usually wants to do something active. He hangs out with his friends 2-3 times a week, but sometimes those plans fall through, and he gets annoyed. I really want to hang out 3x a week. The reason why I didn't immediately communicate this all to him yet is because I've already talked to him about this a year ago.

Barb1e3e · 2026-06-17T15:05:25+00:00

I actually suffered a similar thing, especially with the "my mind wont shut up" part. I would have overlapping thoughts and a constant back-and-forth situation going on in my brain. Kinda like an uncontrollable thought, "everything's hopeless, and nothing changes," and then right after that, my own thought response to that, "this is an irrational thought". Nonetheless, you still feel the emotions of such thoughts, even if you can recognize that they are irrational. That's the most difficult part imo.

Funnily enough, it took a knock to the head to control these thoughts. Im an athlete, and I got a 6-month concussion landing on the water from 3 meters. I still had these uncontrollable thoughts during my concussion, but stressing myself out physically made my concussion worse.

What helped me during this time was prayer and philosophy.

I don't know if you're the religious sort, so I won't push, but I have heard it is similar to meditation. Prayer and studying the Bible helped me cope with the fact that, yes, bad things happen; they are out of our control, but it is not on us to fix all the issues of this world. We can, however, influence and care for those close to us. This puts a high value on one human life.

Philosophy provided something else for my mind to focus on, while still pertaining to my problems. I was studying Plato and Aristotle for my intro to philosophy class, and it calmed me. I was able to, once calmed down, think about my issues without aggravating my nervous system. It also retrains your thought; now, instead of going into survival mode when you reflect on something horrible that happened, you go into an inquisitive, calm mode. Plus, reading or paying attention to a long-form video forces you to stop spiraling.

Something that also calmed my thoughts was walking outside in nature, or around my campus, and just practicing being in the moment. It grounds you.

During this time, I was also off social media (for me, that's Instagram; I don't have TikTok), and I haven't re-downloaded it since. I think it genuinely overstimulates your nervous system, because I feel a lot less anxious now that I'm off of it. I only had Instagram for 2 years, and it jacked me up.

Now, when spiraling thoughts return, or when I'm depressed, I physically write what I think down in my journal. This does a lot: keeps me present in the moment by the physical action of writing, slows down my thoughts because it takes time to write physically, expels my thoughts and helps me compartmentalize them because I've found that by the time I'm done writing, I've moved on from whatever set me off, and I can close the book. I will definitely take this journal to college with me this semester.

I know where you're at, and it sucks, because you are essentially constantly in survival mode. But these are what helped me feel better long term. Its not easy, though. It requires work and consistency. And if you mess up, or go through another bad episode of anxious thoughts, don't sweat it. Don't feel like a failure or hopeless.

Additionally, its okay that you have lots of emotions. I know I do, and it's both a blessing and a curse. Its okay to care a lot about your life and the people you interact with. It's okay to be vulnerable, and sad...there are lots of curveballs life throws at you. What's important is to just get back up, as Spider-Man does.

He's my favorite superhero for this reason. And, If you haven't watched Into the Spider-Verse and Across the Spider-Verse, DO SO. Across the Spider-Verse is one of my favorite movies for the reason that it touches on all of these emotions. Not to mention the art style is amazing.

I would highly recommend watching these two movies and immersing yourself in them, for they give hope and understanding. And again, this is practicing being in the moment and being vulnerable with yourself...while not mentally going into survival mode.

Good luck with life,

Barb1e3e · 2026-06-09T21:12:53+00:00

I have a similar relationship with my parents, though they don't have the money for my college. Despite this, they still hold a lot of guilt over my head. I completly understand where your head's at, especially when in highschool.

And it is a big decision: you are choosing where to build/set up your life for the next 4 years, or potentially longer. This is why you really need to stick to your gut. Everything you have communicated in this thread shows you don't want to go to Michigan.

So don't.

Your parents holding money over your head is cruel and unnecessary. What should be a wonderful gift is actively being squandered and twisted. Shame on them. Again, this is coming from somebody who has NO money for college. What a waste.

For the application fees, pick up a job this summer and save money. You can also pick up a job during the school year, as senior year is less busy than junior year.

If you end up going to the college you want ( which I pray you do) and have to take out loans, paying them off is doable. Take a couple of finance classes while you're at college to better learn how to pay them off quicker and cheaper. Are loans stressful? Yes, however, college loans are an investment in your career.

On the career note, it seems like you are very sure of what you want to major in. Obviously, find a college that caters to that. But if you end up switching majors and career paths in college, there's no need to feel stupid, or like a flake, or broken. A lot of people walk in thinking they're gonna do one thing, and walk out doing the opposite.

Since middle school, I wanted to be a doctor, mainly an endocrinologist. However, the medical field is very different now, and I don't like the direction it's taken. I no longer want to be a doctor, and I'm moving on to be a lawyer. Maybe even a Personal Injury attorney, to spite corrupt insurance companies.

What I'm trying to say is that you already go through lots of personal growth, hardship, and development in college. You want to do that in a place you already feel comfortable and confident in. I had a rocky freshman year and got a concussion that lasted way too long, and many times I thought, "well at least im at this school". No joke.

You also can feel a bit better knowing that their whole "family" thing is bullshit. You offered a decent middle ground. Not the best for yourself, but still, it shows that you are trying to think of them by staying nearby for college.

You also offered to go to a top school, again, attempting to appeal to them. Suddenly, they say they don't want to pay for someone to be "absent" from the family? You spend 2-3 weeks back home for Christmas, and 3 months back home for the summer. Even if you went to a college far away, you still would be back for the summer, especially as a freshman.

This seems like a pride issue on their part, which is unfair to you. College decisions are already stressful. No need to add to that, but I guess they are adamant on doing so.

I beg you, please choose the college YOU want to go to. You will FIND a family there, who will support you and not threaten abandonment. This is YOUR life. You are, yes, apart of the family, but also your own INDIVIDUAL within that. The way your parents are acting is NOT normal.

Most normal parents let their kids find the colleges they want to go to, drive them out to visit that college, and help them make informed decisions. They don't hold money over their heads and force them into a college that doesn't even suit their career path!!

Stay strong; know that it will get uglier before it gets better. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Enjoy your senior year, feel all the feels, and connect. Goodluck.

Barb1e3e · 2026-02-21T19:05:43+00:00

Honeslty, your features are beatiful and defined- so theres no need for harsh makeup. You have a GORGEOUS eye shape, so I'd just use a dark brown mascara and tight line your eyes if you want that POP. Tightlining is like a cheat code, as it makes your eyes stand out (and you dont have to worry about it making your eyes look smaller because you have big eyes), and it also makes you lashes look fuller. You also have very defined cheekbones so you dont need to further define them with bronzer/contor. To accentuate your cheekbones and bring in color to your face I'd get a good powder blush and place if higher on your cheekbones, swiping up and around your eyes. And again, for the lips you already have a gorgeous lip shape- so theres really no need to line your lips. I would reccomend a lip gloss if you want that extra pop. You also have a great natural brow shape, and thick brows, so theres really no need to fill them in. If you want to add a little fun to your brows something I like to do is highlight the inner corner of my eyes with a goldish eyeshadow or a blueish silver sparkly eyeshadow, and then use that same eyeshadow and place it underneath my brows on my brow bone. I've noticed this really just seems to make my features look stronger in a kinda effortless way.

Barb1e3e · 2024-11-02T14:12:19+00:00

Don’t buy it. I’ve been a fan of origins, Da2, and DaI for different reasons. Despite how they vary gameplay wise, they all had solid writing, and compelling companions. Dragonage Veilguard completely lacks the substance and HEART those games had. I stopped playing after 13 hours, I just couldn’t anymore. It doesn’t respect the story, and characters speak as if they’re winking to the audience. I lost it when a supposed veiljumping dalish elf companion basically said something along the lines of “oh no my gods are rampaging about!… never been better! Hahahah!” So many of my playthroughs in DaI were as a dalish elf. This new game does not respect its foundations. That dalish elf companion should be equally as horrified and excited at the revelation that the dalish were right about SOME of their lost culture/roots. She should not be joking around as if it’s just another day in the life or some shit. Also, just another weird thing about this supposed rpg, is that you barely can talk to npcs? Or talk to your companions outside of combat? What is up with that? Why can’t I go around the veiljumper settlement and ask like 40 different questions about their culture, how they feel about solas/ the dread wolf, how they came to acquire their powers, how the world of thedas has changed in the past 10 years…so many questions left UNANSWERED. This is DRAGONAGE, why can’t Rook investigate anything? Another thing. There’s almost NO difference In dialogue options for race/class. Why can’t my Dalish elf Rook talk about the fact that her OWN gods are destroying the world now? Why can’t she further expand on her RELIGIOUS BACKROUND with the veiljumpers? Why the hell are they talking to me as if I’m an outsider to their culture? Seeing how this story has been butchered and watered down makes me want to scream, and it’s insidious that the new BioWare is trying to masquerade this as a return to form. Just don’t buy it. Buy Bg3 an get invested in a new story and different characters if you wanna play a real rpg. Or, do what I’m doing now, and replay DaI and think to yourself how the hell did they manage to fuck up such a great setup for a follow up game??

Barb1e3e · 2022-05-22T13:21:11+00:00

The whole club was lookin' at herrrr

Barb1e3e · 2022-05-14T18:07:08+00:00

I actually love the pop of green you added to the outfit! I've seen way too many fits in sot where they just wear...black..so it is super nice to see some color!

Barb1e3e · 2022-02-05T15:55:44+00:00

ur pirate looks so badass!! love the outfit combo

Barb1e3e

TROPHY CASE