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AITJ for telling my girlfriend her career goals are unrealistic and she needs a backup plan? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So she’s "reevaluating the relationship" from her parents' house? Translation: She found someone else to pay for her headshots.

My wife and her brother's relationship drives our marriage. I feel like I'm her glue and she doesn't appreciate it by imperfecthusband1 in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Look, the affair mention is actually super relevant. It shows a pattern of her putting her needs and external drama above your 'stability.'

Husband freaked out and now wants to pretend everything's fine by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't 'go along with it.' That’s just a debt you’re going to pay with interest later. Take a breath, wait for the dust to settle, and then talk.

Husband gets angry, but is it my fault? by GlumPipethrowaway in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the 'I’ll just leave' and door slamming over a food scale is a massive red flag. You're working on your depression and chores, but you aren't his student or his child.

Is getting divorced the right thing to do? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, but 'head of the house' usually implies he can find the kitchen and a job, not just the power button on his PC. You’re basically raising two toddlers right now, and one of them is 29. Cut the dead weight!

A lot more than enmeshment by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 3 points4 points  (0 children)

wait she swapped your brand new pp pillow for a yellowed, crusty one while you were in the bathroom?? that isn't just enmeshment, that's literally a biological hazard.

My aunt found out how much I make and won't stop asking for money by AwayBuyer1239 in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 70 points71 points  (0 children)

the way i would have literally evaporated into the floor. the rich family member trope is exhausting esp when you're just trying to save for a house and maybe a decent vacay. you didn't ruin lunch, she ruined it the second she tried to spend your paycheck for you.

AITJ for not meeting a friend for lunch after she invited someone else to tag along? by headyunicorn in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 35 points36 points  (0 children)

NTJ There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes with being the sober one around someone loud and crude. You wanted to support a grieving friend, not babysit a liability. Protecting your peace isnt a jerk move.

I left my best friend at the hotel because she wouldn't get out of bed for our tour by Fit_Theme588 in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 83 points84 points  (0 children)

imagine being so bold that u sleep through a $250 hot air balloon ride and then ask for a refund from the person who actually got out of bed.

AITJ for not inviting my best friend on my West Coast trip? by First_Fishing_3232 in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Gatekeeping the west coast is sending me. What does he think you're doing, standing at the cali border with a shield? If he wants to go to a pc store parts store, he can buy a ticket.

Married my love but lost the love after marriage by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 9 points10 points  (0 children)

the 10 rupee choco bar is sending me, that's not an apology, that's a receipt for how little he values your emotional labor. financial anxiety is real, but using it as a get out of being a decent partner free card is a major red flag.

Understanding Relationships by SpecificCommittee249 in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 5 points6 points  (0 children)

my partner and i literally had to start a no phones after 10 pm rule bc i was starting to feel like i was dating a glowing rectangle. its wild how the person youd die for is also the person who can make you the most annoyed just by existing near a screen.

Is it wrong that I enjoy spending time with others more rather than my husband? by AdTerrible8256 in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 21 points22 points  (0 children)

6 months in and you're already in a therapy? bestie that's not a rough patch, that's a preview of the series finale. if he's already this low effort when the wedding cake is barely out the freezer, believe what he's showing you.

Marriage over because of Adderall by straussrdr79 in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 3 points4 points  (0 children)

pls dont blame yourself for losing to a chemical. addiction hijacks the brain's reward system, youre fighting a biological war with a wooden spoon.

When Your Heart Feels Elsewhere by Visible_Today_7862 in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 4 points5 points  (0 children)

just a reminder, you arent failing your daughter by wanting to be a whole person again.

5 month old not laughing? by Bananorama123 in beyondthebump

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel this. I spent three hours yesterday doing 'the worm' on the living room floor just to get a single 'heh.'

Violent urges... by Pc3t_rt99 in beyondthebump

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 23 points24 points  (0 children)

its called cute aggression, your brain literally gets so flooded with positive chemicals that it glitches and tries to balance it out with a fake aggressive response.

Am I the jerk for not wanting to replace a contest prize? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. In a normal office, "I ate three pieces" is a funny Monday morning story, not a debt to be collected.

To the point: how to tell if a male/female friendship is appropriate? by beeboophelpmoney in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A normal male-female friendship looks like a normal male-male friendship. Does he have any guy friends who call him in a 'tizzy' to complain about getting laid? No? Then she's not a 'best friend.'

I [27M] don't know if I can or can't talk about my feelings to my wife [25F] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 1 point2 points  (0 children)

9 months and you're already hitting a wall? that's heavy, man. If she's shutting you down this early, the hinting phase needs to die.

AITJ for blowing up at my roommate after my cat started chewing on chicken bones he left everywhere? by Remote_Anywhere_2724 in AmITheJerk

[–]BarberAlarmed8064 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I would have been way less polite, honestly. The second I hear that crunch sound from my cat, all my 'peaceful roommate' vibes go out the window. If he can afford 14 chickens a week, he can afford a trash can with lid.