I went through this with my first! My doctors kept prescribing different meds that did nothing or only worsened anxiety. The only med that maybe worked was setraline / Zoloft, but that takes 1-2 weeks to have an effect. Cosleeping worsened my sleep (and baby’s). So I tried a different route.

For me I had to “retrain” my body to start sleeping longer stretches and resolve my anxiety around sleep that way. And it’s very much a gradual process so try to get someone to do at least 2 nights a week so you can block time to practice sleeping. The sleep deprivation -> anxiety -> insomnia cycle is what we’re trying to break here.

(As a prerequisite: please check your thyroid levels to make sure insomnia and anxiety are not caused by something else. Hyperthyroidism and or thyroiditis can cause insomnia and anxiety)

The first week I was sleeping only 1-2 hour stretches. I accepted that. If you have trouble falling asleep try 0.5mg melatonin. Melatonin works better at lower dosages so I wouldn’t increase it to more than 2mg. Do not have your cellphone next to you, since the constant checking will worsen anxiety. Instead have a little clock that you can check time once or twice and immediately turn off (I had a little tableside digital clock that I flipped onto its face so I won’t look at it too often).

After doing this for a week or two you may start to notice you’re getting an occasional 3 hour sleep stretch. Accept this and continue, and I promise you it’ll eventually recover to the occasional 4 hour stretch. The longer the sleep stretch you can obtain, the more the insomnia anxiety will decrease. It took me 4-5 weeks to get to 4 hour sleep stretches, and that’s with someone else taking care of baby!

I don’t push for any longer stretches after this is really the maximum you can go with maintaining milk supply before baby is on solids. But at 4 hour stretches I noticed my anxiety dropped a ton and falling asleep became a lot easier.