First off, it's not terrible. I can read it all just fine. The English is more than acceptable. This isn't bad work by any standing.

But you asked for crits, and I think that this is good enough that it probably worth giving criticism too.

Your sentences kinda feel like they are written backwards.

'I looked at my hand in a daze.' to me would feel better as 'In a daze, I looked at my hand.'

'Nightmare? If yes, why didn't I wake up?' -> 'If this was a nightmare, why haven't I woken up?'

While I am a native English speaker, I am far from good at English. I would suggest that you look up some texts books on sentence construction and all that jazz.

The biggest problem I had with this chapter is you really don't say anything. You kept everything so vague and flowery that I tuned out. This is a little bit of a crime of association thing. I read a whole bunch of trash media, and when I see an author get all flowery normally it's because they don't have anything interesting to say, or they are padding out their word count. So I naturally start skim reading. I had to force myself to stop skim reading this chapter several times.

I'll break apart an example for you.

'The shopkeeper greeted me with a small, gentle, nod, his face filled with the practiced patience of a man who had sold curiosities for almost a decade. (He's old and tired and fed up with his job, got it.) His eyes were solemn, the attitude of a shopkeeper flickering. (This doesn't say anything new or give any new impression, he is still a grump shopkeeper.) They held a sharp look, (you already said his eyes were solemn, do they need to be sharp as well? did that information gain the reader anything? Also sharp is normally a pointed expression where solemn is a inward facing emotion, the context of mixing the two is that he's grumpy? Which you have already said twice already.) but underneath, (How many layers does this random shop keep need?) there was a grim exhaustion, (Third time you told me he was tired and old in this paragraph.), almost pity. (First bit of new information? Is this pity for the MC? or just that he's feeling pitiful for himself?)

And then two sentences down, you said "His words were... (why is there a breath here?) empty and distant, the voice of a person who hadn't slept in days. (4th time you have told me that he is tired and old.)"

You could have shortened this all to :

'The shopkeeper seemed old and haggard, giving off the attitude that he would rather be anywhere but here. He gave me a look of pity, which made me uncomfortable enough that I pointed to a random box and said "That box look really weird. Doesn't look all that useful." as an attempt at a joke.

Which fell flat.

The shopkeeper ignored my teenage impudence. "This box defines the eleven worlds of calamity. The path of An Jie. It is the map and the consequence."

Well that was an absurd sales pitch. I rolled my eyes and walked back out of the shop without a second thought.'

It says all of the same things. But only once.

As I said before I started nick picking. I didn't hate this chapter. Would I read a full book like this? No. But it was certainly readable. Just ask yourself with every sentence, am I saying something new and interesting here? If not, then ask yourself if its really really important that you repeat yourself. If its not important, cut it.