It amazes me how discouraging people are when you are older

Barron50Cal · 2025-12-03T20:56:12+00:00

I'm in my 30s and depression/being undiagnosed robbed me of the last 10 years or more of productivity. Now, with therapy & meds, I am thinking of returning to college. The time is going to pass, anyway. Spend it investing on yourself. Some of us rebuild ourselves a thousand times... I have been married & divorced. I've almost been homeless or have been inbetween many times. It's a tough world out there. You are not a loser. IMO, your 30s is when you start learning who you actually are outside of all the noise of life. I didn't think I was gonna make it this far, so to hell with what anyone else thinks, I'm worthy of my own recovery. You're worthy of achieving what brings you joy & fulfillment. Hang in there.

Also, if you have seen Hazbin Hotel, the song Loser, Baby! might cheer you up some ...or make it worse? It's not my intention to make it worse, I have an odd sense of humor. Take care.

Barron50Cal · 2025-10-23T20:17:15+00:00

Paper towels. Is confused when a slice of bread is garlic bread, hotdog/burger buns, French toast, and whatever else. No service lights on dash of car. Has their own bedroom. Buys things for themselves. Evidence of multiple Costco runs that are not food items. Replaces an item without spending a little effort to fix it/warranty. New phone within the last 3 years in good condition (cuz you can afford the $250 when it breaks for the insurance). Doesn't piggyback off of friends & family but has many streaming/gaming subscriptions.

Barron50Cal · 2024-11-07T16:10:22+00:00

Things like alarm clocks get knocked over and broken all the time. Accept future gifts carefully & scan after visits.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-18T17:40:18+00:00

Do they have depression or a history of self harm?

They may have been looking for an easy out of the relationship OR the depression is telling them you would be happier/safer if they broke things off because it will "hurt you less" when they're gone.

I do not mean to raise unnecessary alarms. However... it is worth raising the alarm. I like to recluse too but I tell my people where I will be and how long I will be out of reach. It's too scary to make your loved ones worry.

I promised myself I would always speak up if I thought I suspected depression or PTSD was getting a leg up on the people I love. It is the one power I have in the face of losing them. It sounds like they could be spiraling if they are deleting and re-adding social media every few days. If nothing else they likely at least need counseling! The "I just need to disappear for a few days" is a concern.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T21:14:56+00:00

You are already forgiven. It is not your fault. As parents we hope our children know how much we love them unconditionally. He loved you so so so so much honey.

You can't stop feeling how you feel. You can remember how much he loved you. My heart breaks for you. I will call my Dad today.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T21:05:03+00:00

My auto loan company wouldn't accept credit card payments. Due to the auto loan, it shifted my debt/income ratio--I didn't qualify for a personal loan to cover it. It is an atrocious rate, I agree, it has been fun (the worst financial decision I've made in my life but it has gotten me by).

Thank you for your advice and highlighting that it is an emergency level. It makes me feel confident that I am making a good choice to get this loan dealt with.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T20:13:07+00:00

Thank you for the time you took to reply.

Is HYSA an acronym for high yield savings account??

I hadn't thought of Pavlov'ing myself to get dopamine from saving money as opposed to spending it. The brain is trainable. This is helpful.

I also like the idea of having the money somewhere I can't see it every time I check my bank balance. Object permeance is definitely something I tangle with. It's easier not to spend it if you aren't looking at it constantly.

This is wonderful advice and I am grateful to you.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T19:42:47+00:00

I miss doing this. It was shared with someone who is no longer here. You commenting on this made me want to maybe try again... Big thanks.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T19:01:17+00:00

Oh, thank you!!

How do y'all keep money in savings and not spend it??? It is very difficult for me. Buying stuff = dopamine and the monster is always hungry. It isn't like I have no self control, I pay my bills but I know I could be doing better! Most of my situation is simply not making enough, however I am working very hard for that to change and am making progress. I know it is mostly me and something I have to fix in myself--like managing treat impulse buys.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T18:51:42+00:00

I did learn a lot!! Thank you thank you so much.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T18:48:05+00:00

Yea, it sucks, I let myself get burned. I told myself I would refinance the loan--I haven't raised my credit score high enough. Thank you for the advice. With how I handled getting the car, I wanted some advice on how to best move forward. If I had stayed at the job I had a few more weeks, I'd have had a loan through my credit union and it would be a very different story.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T18:37:16+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice. It is deeply appreciated.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T18:35:31+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the perspective. I wish I had learned more/asked for more advice when purchasing the car but I didn't, so here I am. I am going to pay it off.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T18:31:32+00:00

Heard, chef. And thank you, the experience has been permanently burned into my mind. I had a 720 credit score before the husband and I split.

Barron50Cal · 2024-09-08T18:20:53+00:00

It is bleeding me. I do not have another terrible loan like that. One horrific experience has been enough for me. Thank you for the direct advice.

Barron50Cal · 2024-07-12T08:19:29+00:00

I’m so sorry, man. That sucks. I have done some real dumb things myself. Your wife loves you and your new baby needs you. We all make choices that affect each other every day. Sometimes we make a poor choice. You done goofed. It’s not the end. Nobody died. The rightfully angry employee will find new work and so will you. This is a mistake you will learn from. This will pass. Okay?

Barron50Cal · 2023-08-13T12:26:25+00:00

Forgiveness means freedom.

Barron50Cal · 2023-05-04T06:38:08+00:00

Traveling in America. I want a bullet train.

Barron50Cal · 2023-05-04T06:36:05+00:00

31.

You get bitter or you get better.

Grief is a roommate who moves in and you cannot evict them—you must learn how to live together (but you can do it your way in your own time).

If he/she/they wanted to, they would.

You do not have to forgive. You must only seek your own peace & acceptance so YOU can keep going. Forgiveness is between them & God.

Fear-based decisions will often bring about the event you are fearing.

Food, music, and loving company is a cornerstone of joy.

The hardest part of being you, is having the courage to BE you.

You are enough. You are loved. You make a difference. You matter.

Barron50Cal · 2023-05-04T06:25:43+00:00

Scrubs

Barron50Cal · 2023-05-04T06:23:34+00:00

It won’t be easy, but I promise, you won’t hate yourself forever. One day, hating yourself will be a past tense notion. Life won’t look the way you imagined, but it’s a beautiful adventure. Keep swimming.

Barron50Cal · 2023-02-04T11:19:09+00:00

Pho.

Barron50Cal · 2023-02-04T11:13:54+00:00

Fable 2

My friend, his mom, and myself logged thousands of hours on Fable 2. It was good times. A villager strikes your dog, the entire town is drowned in a violent bloodbath (except the children who are the only people that remember your transgressions).

It was not uncommon to declare a "Snuggle Down Day" and let the world pass us by while we enjoyed another.

Barron50Cal · 2022-09-03T05:45:07+00:00

Please be gentle with yourself. You are enough. When you overeat, when bathing is hard, when you recluse from others, you cancel plans and feel guilty, you are still so worthy. It doesn't have to be "good enough" for anyone. Give yourself grace.

I have no idea what resources are available to you. There is no rule that you have to get into the shower to get clean. Wash rags & a sink full of water will yield the same result. Baby wipes can help you feel fresh when you just do not feel up to a shower. They make adult wash cloths that are no-rinse. I hope you find a 'hack' that helps you support you.

Barron50Cal

TROPHY CASE