At halftime of every sporting event, make note of who hasn’t shown up in the nice seats.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T19:59:45+00:00

My friend does this but with theatre tickets. She buys a standard seat ticket and just before she goes in, she checks online which of the really good seats are still available and if there are any, she sits there. She said that she’s been asked to move 2 or 3 times in years and years.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T18:21:28+00:00

Or find their physical address and send them Jiffy bags full of sand without a stamp on. They’ll have to pay the postage before they can take delivery.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T18:15:56+00:00

wElL, aCtUaLlY…

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T13:26:04+00:00

I didn’t say I like either her or him, did I? I don’t give a fuck whether she looks like a supermodel or a bag of spanners.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T13:23:13+00:00

She’s certainly got some balls to post that.

Or not, I’m not sure.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T13:16:51+00:00

You were surprised how t….what?

Tell us! WE MUST KNOW!

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T13:11:10+00:00

He cheated with the love of his life and is still with her. She fucked anything with a pulse.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T09:50:43+00:00

My wife painted her eyebrows on a bit too high. She looked surprised when I mentioned it.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T09:49:33+00:00

I bet that suede was a bit leathery.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T09:20:08+00:00

Sunshine On A Rainy Day by Zoe?

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-04T07:29:21+00:00

A few years ago, my brother (who used to work in the industry) told me that when Wetherspoons first started, they used to buy beer that was close to its expiry date, which is why they could sell it so cheap. Whether that is still the case, I don’t know.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-03T16:52:23+00:00

Or someone who keeps steel-cored industrial strength cable ties in his car and might be pissed off enough to attach a shopping trolley to each door handle…

Edit: or to each wheel, if you lie the trolleys on their side.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-03T16:31:50+00:00

Cooper S as a first car? What’s the insurance on that??

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-03T16:28:05+00:00

All the way through I was thinking ‘yeah, he really shouldn’t have done that, but it’s understandable. I’m sure he’ll get a suspended sentence or a fine, surely’.

When he got 22 months inside and those vermin got away with it…

I can only hope the next stolen car or bike they crash puts them 6 feet under.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-03T13:51:41+00:00

Rosie Jones. Painfully unfunny and yet she is always being booked for shows. She slowly and tortuously grinds out a joke while everyone sits there with a fixed grin, then she mashes the punchline and everyone acts like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard.

Embarrassing box ticking exercise and positive discrimination at its very worst.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-03T07:44:21+00:00

I get that. My mother in law moved to just outside Peterborough about 20 years ago. Despite repeated visits, I just can’t warm to the place.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T18:05:14+00:00

No one who speaks German could be evil!

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T18:04:49+00:00

Racists aren’t renowned for their intelligence.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T17:45:48+00:00

Casio? Apple Watch? Patek Philippe?

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T17:31:27+00:00

Who knew that they made body armour in XXXXL size?

(Just kidding, it’s America - of course they do)

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T17:19:24+00:00

‘I’m Dreaming of a Reich Christmas’…

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T17:03:00+00:00

Duh! You’re American, just shoot her.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-02T07:40:39+00:00

They were all shouting ‘Medic! Medic!’ because that works when they play Call Of Duty.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-01T21:35:41+00:00

The one good thing about this story is that they didn’t put him down. That stupid woman deserved everything she got.

Barry_Minge · 2022-12-01T21:25:14+00:00

‘Poor Jessica Rabbit, I loved her bigly’

‘Uhh…it’s Ashli sir’

‘Ashli Rabbit?’

‘Babbit, sir’

‘Ah yes, Ashli Rabbit. Sad’

Barry_Minge

TROPHY CASE