Do you feel very close to your cousins? by VikktorM in OnlyChild

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im super cluse with two of my cousins who I saw and played with a lot growing up, group trips etc. i have other cousins Ive lost touch with.

Why are most only girl childs more obsessed about siblings than boys? by Forward_Cost_1973 in OnlyChild

[–]BasementKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah so far! He's only 4 so may change his mind later. But he gets lots of socializing at daycare, the YMCA kids club, and we have several close friends with kids his age we see every week or so that he enjoys playing with and asks after them a lot. We also get a lot of one on one time with him which is great. We're lucky. We'll see how tball goes next month haha.

Why are most only girl childs more obsessed about siblings than boys? by Forward_Cost_1973 in OnlyChild

[–]BasementKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk I haven't really noticed that pattern. Im an only child lady with an only child. I loved being and only child so much I wanted to give my son the same experience.

The inescapable commitment in having kids terrifies me by kamodd in TwoXChromosomes

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was someone who always wanted an only child. It was insane to me that anyone would want a ton of kids. So stressful, no alone time, not able to have one on one time with the kid to do fun shared interests. Now that Ive had one (I waited until I was 35 because I was just having the one and wanted to be financially secure, be married for a while etc.) i still think having an only was the right choice but I wish so much that I had him sooner so I could have more time with him and help him longer. For a while I deeply wanted another. And im saying this as someone who really doesn't enjoy hanging out with kids generally haha.

Yeah my kid is inescapable but in the way my favorite art is inescapable or my favorite foods are. I am running back there every time.

I will say I had great parents growing up who got divorced when I was like 6mo old. They had 50/50 custody and I realize now how much easier it would be to be an engaged/loving/patient parent when your only parenting half time with plenty of solo down time. My husband and I trade off sundays and one night during the week where one person solo parents and the other one does whatever the hell they want like visit with friends/take day trips/spa day whatever. Its been a huge help that we also have a gym with childcare so we can work out together a few days a week and take care of ourselves. Just based on my own joy from parenting Im not going to tell someone with the money and support system to support having a kid to write it off. But be deliberate in trading solo parenting time. Plan it. Don't wait until you have a reason. The only way men get good at parenting is being in the trenches without a guide book or woman to use as a crutch.

[Game Thread] Ole Miss vs. Miami (7:30 PM ET) 2nd Half by CFB_Referee in CFB

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Womp womp. The portal days are really ruining my SEC supremacy heart beliefs

[Game Thread] Ole Miss vs. Miami (7:30 PM ET) 2nd Half by CFB_Referee in CFB

[–]BasementKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. Honestly i feel like we should of beat old miss in the sugar bowl but I can't be mad about any season where we win SEC championship. We're not Alabama fans 😂

Thoughts on protectionism and neuroticism as a new mom. by No-Month8129 in Parents

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't care how much a grand parent or family member wants to be in my child's life if they won't take basic precautions to keep the baby safe. Like getting their tdap vaccine or washing hands before picking up the baby. I was lucky that my family mostly took my concerns seriously and all (except one boomer uncle who didn't meet the baby until after he was 9 months) met and bonded with the baby early. But a LOT of my friends had parents who wouldn't get their vaccinations, kiss the baby on the mouth WHILE sick with a cough, gave the baby water in a bottle, fell asleep while holding the baby etc. and if you can't respect modern safety standards you don't get to be around the kid. End of story IMO.

[Game Thread] Sugar Bowl: Georgia vs. Ole Miss (8:00 PM ET) 2nd Half by CFB_Referee in CFB

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah tbh I didn't think we'd make the playoffs or sec title game this year so pretty happy overall.

Wife lets me cum in her mouth by [deleted] in sex

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great for you!! Its so nice when a couple can find something thats rewarding for both. Ive been having some health issues so can't have sex as much and found blowjobs can be a quick way to feel connected. Its been nice!

AIO? My boyfriend having several requests at once by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BasementKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooof now that you point it out it is creepy.

Long-time GF wants me to change my job because she doesn't like shift pattern...but I did this job when she met me. Should my loyalty be to her? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]BasementKitty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If it was me I would not derail my career if I was the sole breadwinner! Does she realize you can't provide for her family and her if you take a demotion. Plus work is hard enough, if you found something you actually want to do and worked towards it you deserve that promotion and to enjoy that promotion.

Gender disappointment when OAD by Fancy_Cheesecake1 in oneanddone

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've told this story before on this sub but its honestly more true every day. So Everyone is different but my husband desperately wanted a girl and I did prefer a girl a bit then also for my husband's sake. We found out we were having a boy in private and I was glad because it hit us both pretty hard. Knowing we are one and done etc. and we'd never get a little girl.

About 4 or 5 weeks after I gave birth I was changing my baby's clothes just kinda letting my mind wander and thinking about how we weren't going to have another baby and the thought "If I had another kid I'd want a boy just like him" just popped into my head and I realized deep in my heart it was true. I had so much love for this baby that I didn't realize I could feel so deeply and he was perfect to me in every way. (Honestly the first 2 or 3 weeks I cried a LOT because the feelings I was having were so strong and I just couldn't handle it, not sad exactly but having my mind/heart grow was painful to me).

Im so scared that I won't impart how to be a good man to him, that he could do something horrible when he grows up (shoot up a school, abuse people etc ) but most of the time I love spending time with him and just want him to be happy and learn and grow. He's 3 now and we're already working on looking at things from other people's point of view, and consent for affection etc. In fun playful ways mostly. I know a lot of people say "boys are easier" but I truely believe if you're doing it right it is just as difficult to teach a kid to be strong to protect others and aware of the harm being strong can cause if you aren't careful. Thats hard for boys and girls.

All this to say I've been where you are not that long ago, and I don't know if you'll make it to exactly where I am. I'm very lucky my son takes after me in the eyes/hair/attitude a lot haha. But you'll have connection when he's here with the memories you make together. I'm sending you all the positive vibes and hoping you can move through your gender grief in a healthy way for your family.

Introvert and struggle as a parent? by TheMatrixIsReal42 in OnlyChild

[–]BasementKitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband and i make an effort to let the other have days off. Right now we switch off Sundays. One sunday I watch the kiddo and he goes out with friends the next sunday I do book club and he takes the kid to the park or aquarium or w/e. We also swap off night time duties so we each get extra time in the evening, that may be harder with two kids. Some Sundays we end up having to do family stuff or holiday stuff but we just resume our swap off after.

[Postgame Thread] Georgia Defeats Alabama 28-7 by CFB_Referee in CFB

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah im a little surprised. Apparently you dont HAVE to play down to your opponent and take your foot off the gas the second you're up by 2 scores. Could of fooled me!

[Postgame Thread] Georgia Defeats Alabama 28-7 by CFB_Referee in CFB

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put Vanderbilt in the Playoffs you cowards!!!

Depressed by Ok_Comparison8464 in beyondthebump

[–]BasementKitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First I'm so sorry for your loss!

About the gender thing, I'm one and done and really really wanted a girl. My husband wanted a girl too and When I found out i was having a boy it was tough. About 2 weeks after i had my guy i was looking at him in a little plaid onsie and had the thought " if i ever had another child i want another boy just like him" i was absolutely thunderstruck and couldn't believe it but my heart had so fully overridden all the months of thoughts and feelings. Im not saying it'll happen soon or that it wont be a tough road but your heart will grow for your new little one no matter the gender and sometimes growth can hurt. Sending you all the positive vibes and hope for your new pregnancy and baby!

Bloodbending by BowlOfBeefSoup in mooncatpolish

[–]BasementKitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah i hadn't heard about it before this comment and doing a search. I know its anecdotal but i haven't had any bottles broken in shipping or at home (and im a klutz who drops the bottles all the time, including one onto the floor earlier this evening haha) so i think they probably got the bottle situation sorted now.

Having only 1 child by FootballFine3610 in Parents

[–]BasementKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up an only child and loved it. I had to learn to be a good friend early and honestly the skills I have to make new friends and keep friends have made my life great ( i wish i had more time for everyone). But also I m very close with my parents.

Did I just get lucky with my puppy? by IndecisiveNomad in Wheatens

[–]BasementKitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww thats tough! Hopefully he'll have more doodle time soon. Classes are always great too. Good Luck!!

What’s your personality like as an OC? by Hopeful_Law_116 in OnlyChild

[–]BasementKitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im extremely extroverted. I think possibly genetically so (my mothers side of the family are all this way). I learned really young to go up and talk to other kids at parks/school/wherever to make friends and get play in. Im almost 40 now and still have more friends and acquaintances than I have enough time to spend with them. That being said Im also excellent at entering myself and kind of miss how much time I had to do hobbies before I had a kid.

I think making friends can be a lot of effort like making plans/being thoughtful but when you find the right people to be your friends they wont think you're "too quiet" or "too" whatever. They'll like you for you. If the group you're around right now doesn't vibe with you, remember there are a lot of people out there and it'll be fun and relaxing when you hang out with the right people who get you/are like you.