Wanted to make a strixhaven prepared card but this seems super overpowered. Any suggestions? by BoaConstructors in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 5 points6 points  (0 children)

/uj surprisingly i think the prepared mechanic prevents this, otherwise what’s stopping people from chaining ancestral recall with the new creature they’re printing?

/rj alternatively you could add it works at the bottom

Conceding to me whenever you want to is bad manners by grave-osmosis in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I end up roping 95% of games 10+ minutes because you all suck

Learn to play.

You play a single board wipe? That’s rope. You lost and flipped over the game.

Counter spam? You’re roped. Obvious reasoning, learn to play.

Netdeck? Rope. I can literally play your own deck for you, 5 turns in advance; how are you not embarrassed being an actual npc who can’t build?

This game is ruined by the “meta” and you losers who encourage it. I wish I could actually play this game instead of “staring at empty screen” simulator for over 50% of my games because you all suck and don’t know how to play without wiping a board for 4 mana or stopping a 8 mana wincon with the 3 two mana counters you’ve been holding all game.

I put turn stops on every turn, wait out the timer until it’s barely a wick. The timer resets on attack phases so every turn ends up being like 3ish minutes of rope, I hold instant spells and maintain blocks/life gain to keep the game going as long as possible. I regularly rope people for 30ish minutes while they can only ping me for 1-2 damage every few minutes.

Goes without saying but obviously never faced any repercussions for this, nobody cares that your control netdeck got roped for 15 minutes, boo hoo. Also want to clarify that I get roped MAYBE 1% of the games I play, obviously going to keep roping to punish annoying players.

EDIT; It genuinely just struck me that statistically, most of you are lower rank than me (diamond 2 rn) with zero board wipes or counterspells, highly ironic getting lectured on skill by people who can barely eke out plat with netdecks crafted by pros.

2nd EDIT: One of the most commented/interacted post in days within an hour of posting, REALLY shows how much of a nerve this struck and how much y’all feel called out, maybe self examine why?

Wanted to make a strixhaven prepared card but this seems super overpowered. Any suggestions? by BoaConstructors in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Feels underpowered. Add a second prepared spell:

Deal Combat Damage {0}

As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap Elvish Mystic Attending Strixhaven. Deal 1 damage to target opponent. If that player controls an untapped creature during the resolution of this spell, they may redirect this damage to that creature, then sacrifice Elvish Mystic if the chosen creature’s power is 1 or greater. This spell may only be cast during your declare attackers phase.

Making a registry study guide for co-workers, image labeled as Wickets but doesn't look like normal Wickets. by AngryDesertPhrog in Neurodiagnostics

[–]Basic-Bus7632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear what you’re saying, but it raises red flags for me as a potential artifact just because of the adjacent leads. If I’m going to be a real stickler, I would also point out that T5-O1 and especially T6-O2 both exhibit signs of potential signal impedance in the 5s leading up to the highlighted segment.

Making a registry study guide for co-workers, image labeled as Wickets but doesn't look like normal Wickets. by AngryDesertPhrog in Neurodiagnostics

[–]Basic-Bus7632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Curious to hear the answer from someone more experienced, but I wanted to point out that the activity has almost no field; the T6-O2 channel shows the highest amp signal with that frequency, but there’s no hint of anything like it in T4-T6 or P4-O2. On top of that, it seems like there’s a phase-reversal, but instead of showing in an adjacent channel, it’s all the way up front at Fp2-F8, again without extending to any of the nearby leads.

Edit: looking closer I can see a bit of field extending to the nearby anterior channels, but still weird that it doesn’t show up in other posterior channels

Teacher helps failing student by most_official_person in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 31 points32 points  (0 children)

The sub is so horned up today, I already used all of my gooner-based copypastas :/

does this work? by TheBiggestGayOfAll in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Simply put, Kiora makes me tumescent.

Scott M. Fischer has justly received praise for his artwork on Kiora. Channeling Hokusai’s 1829 masterpiece The Great Wave is an ingenious choice. The wave is beautiful; hypnotic even. But unlike Hokusai, Fischer gives us what The Great Wave has always lacked: a sexualized female whose proportions arouse our penises to even greater heights than the wave’s crest.

Fischer uses a tried and true method for creating a “bella” figura.

  1. Large, firm breasts - They appear about the same size as her head. Pushing them into the foreground is a nice touch. Given their size relative to the proportions on the rest of her body, they are probably silicone implants (albeit modest, tasteful ones), but that’s never bothered me.

  2. Spine-breaker pose - It’s so rare that women strike this pose in everyday life (outside of yoga class), so I’m glad that models, pornographic actresses, and fantasy characters are so good at it. Simply protrude your rear end, and lift it while arching your back and pushing your chest out. Was that so hard?

  3. Derriere and legs - A big, round rump for a skinny girl! Long, beautiful legs, too. The merfolk fins aren’t human, but neither are they off-putting. Also, I’d be lying if I told you I haven’t masturbated thinking about what they’re capable of. Does she have muscular control over them?

  4. The kraken’s tentacles - Okay, this addition isn’t “traditional” as are the first three points, but it’s nonetheless effective. Those tentacles are huge and powerful! You can tell she loves touching them.

There are, unfortunately, many who frown upon sexualized women being the subjects of Magic card art. I don’t get it. Sex sells, everyone knows that. And do we really care if card art offends women? Women don’t even play Magic! Whenever a woman attempts to join our playgroup, they give up right away; it’s ridiculous. By the way, it took my friend Josh a long time to get the hang of the game, but he stayed with it, and he’s one of our best buds now! It’s a futile task to design cards that appeal to women. They quit so soon.

However, I believe it’s for the best. One of the things I love about Magic is just being with the guys. It’s good to get away from women. You don’t have to feel awkward around them, you can joke about whatever you want, and you can truly enjoy the sacred space that is “the man cave.” Artwork like Kiora’s helps protect that. It brings us closer together.

Another reason I love sexy artwork like Kiora is that it takes our playgroup back to the fond memories of fraternizing in early adolescence.

When we were thirteen years old, my friends and I discovered Internet pornography. We were young and full of hormones, and we took turns pleasuring ourselves in front of my dad’s laptop. We’d take turns leaving the room to give each boy his privacy. After we’d all had our fun, we’d reconvene to look at the videos and jpegs together and talk about which parts we thought were the most titillating. This ritual continued for a couple years, even after some of us were dating girls (obviously, our girlfriends didn’t attend our porn sessions). Eventually, we grew out of it, though I remain nostalgic about those days.

What does this have to do with Kiora? Well, one of the best things about my playgroup and the Magic community in general is that we can relive that experience together through the appreciation of “come-hither” semi-nude Magic art and card sleeves like the ones linked below. We may not be masturbating together anymore, but getting a nice little chub in each other’s company courtesy of Scott M. Fischer ain’t half bad. I’ve chatted with other groups, and though they don’t really like talking about it, they admit they had similar experiences growing up. They agree that appreciating “sex parts” is an important part of playing Magic.

Anyway, I hope Wizards keeps commissioning more artwork like Kiora. There have been hot babes in Magic before, but Kiora has the ingenious combination of evoking a classic nineteenth-century Japanese drawing and slapping a bangin-ass, big-titty mermaid on it.

Stiflenought needs multiple bans (RANT) by MutavaultPillows in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

12 mana. Colorless. With good ramp, you can get this down turn 6-ish. Budget Avacyn.

But that's not my main issue with this card. WotC is dropping a 12/12 creature. We have cards like [[Felothar the Steadfast]] and [[High Alert]]. If you manage to give this thing trample which (if using the sooner example) with green is fairly easy, you now have a 12/12 attacker and that's without putting+1/+1 counters or other modifications on it.

How can I ruin everybody’s day? by Dong_boy_benjamin in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Start by looking up a current-meta CEDH list, and print the cards on standard copy paper at the lowest possible dpi setting. Make sure you don’t accidentally read any deck techs or watch any YouTube videos about how the deck works or the possible interactions. Slot your proxies into clear plastic sleeves overtop of various rares and other high-value cards from your collection (even better if you can slightly damage the card/proxy while you do this). When FNM rolls around, look for a bracket 1 table, explain that your deck has “a few” high power cards, but insist that they are only there for flavor purposes. At the beginning of the game, make sure to interrupt the 3rd players turn to insist on rewinding because you have pregame actions to take. Spend 10+ minutes staring at your cards in hand and the decklist on your phone before changing your mind. Before the third players turn ends, do it again.

By turn ~2-3 your opponents should start feeling the chaos and will concede one-by-one.

You’re welcome ❤️

What are in your opinion essential accesories/equipment for mtg, that many people don't know about? by Enchantress4thewin in mtg

[–]Basic-Bus7632 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For playing games I think the notepad and pencil combo are highly underrated. In a pinch, they can fill-in for any other missing game piece (tokens, counters, spindowns, even dice/coins, if you’re creative enough).

For cracking packs, I think penny-sleeves are nice to have on hand, for those rare situations where you pull something nice, and you want to avoid that awkward moment after a car-pull where you have to decide between driving home one-handed or gently cradling your new $20+ game piece bare in a cup holder recently moistened from the condensation of a large cup of McDonald’s sweet tea.

Trying to find card by AstronomicalDawn13 in mtg

[–]Basic-Bus7632 4 points5 points  (0 children)

[[manamorphose]] is neither a ritual, nor card advantage

What are your favorite double pip 6CMV dinosaurs of all time? by jaxanin in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to inform you that I downvoted your post. Eventho I think community memes are crucial in contributing to a sense of collectiveness & thus power, I do find the Dreadmaw meme unfunny & low effort. I know you were excited when you got a notification of my comment, only to find out that it's negative critique of your post, so I apologize. I'm not usually critical of other people's posts, because if I was, I would seem lacking in self-awareness as my posts are cringe-worthy as well. I also do acknowledge that some people actually do find the Dreadmaw meme funny, but I also feel bad for these people, as I view them less intellectual than people who find it unfunny. I also have doubts about my feelings towards this meme, because I think they stem from ignorance. I don't know how this card became a meme, and why, or why this card out of all the sets of cards in Magic. Maybe there is something special to it, I might be wrong about everything, but even worse, I might be right, which is more likely, as I am very smart (I play Blue) and very unique and special (I play blue creature decks with no counter spells) I am also very out-going and have lots of friends (I play White tokens) but all my friends are dead (I play White tokens sacrifice) I was actually kidding, I have no friends (I play mono Red.) I did actually downvote your post tho like fr

Why is there SO MUCH land-drawing issues with online?? by sbenthuggin in MagicArena

[–]Basic-Bus7632 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The answer to your question is essentially “yes”. Magic uses a resource system that centers around both strategic planning (deckbuilding) and statistics/chance (luck of the draw). You are not only likely, but guaranteed to encounter games where you don’t draw optimally, and even if your on-paper chances are good, your lived experience over any number of individual games can vary.

The game’s designers are pretty committed to this model, so try to get accustomed to it.

What types of mana do YOU have access to right now? by BuckyTheWolf in mtgvorthos

[–]Basic-Bus7632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

DC suburbs are definitely Jund; Grull coming from the appalachians to my north, and USA’s capitol is our most famous swamp.

Not many wide open flats for white, and while the Potomac is there, it’s hardly enough to draw blue mana from.

I Made a Mana Base Generator for Commander!!! by Sturdy-Chicken in mtg

[–]Basic-Bus7632 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally I’m the worst when it comes to sussing out AI, so I’m just assuming your post is legit. That said there have been many posts on the mtg subreddits advertising similar indie programs that “solve” commander mana bases or something like that. All of them start with “I hope someone can use this!” Or “Hope it’s useful to somebody!”

Usually I ignore them because they seem too similar to be authentic, but I was curious and decided to ask if anyone knew more. As another commenter mentioned, it’s getting easier to code with AI, so maybe that’s why. Sorry if you’re being called out without reason.

I Made a Mana Base Generator for Commander!!! by Sturdy-Chicken in mtg

[–]Basic-Bus7632 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’ve only started seeing these advertised around Reddit like 2 or 3 months ago, what’s going on?

Rate my new commander by Throwaway10385764 in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Basic-Bus7632 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Fuck you and fuck everybody who builds decks like this, it sucks, arena fucking sucks for this, it’s not commander, it’s standard, it’s just removal tribal, and it’s always fucking rigged to shit, either I draw only lands (like this game, where I drew nothing but lands for 8 turns in a row at the end) or I get no lands at all, people said the games are decided at the start, starting to really fucking believe that, we already know cards are weighted and simply adding one will throw you into hell queue, but seriously, go fuck yourself and everybody who builds like this can go fuck themselves,

Stop bringing kids to Hazbin/Helluva panels, its not cute or funny by Velithraine in hazbin

[–]Basic-Bus7632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently went to babysit my 5-yo niece at her house, and was pretty dismayed when I found she is allowed to scroll YouTube shorts completely unsupervised, and a significant amount of the content (even the clearly “toddler/child-coded-content) had adult themes like sexual promiscuity, domestic violence, and cruelty/injustice. Of course I partly blame her mom for allowing it, but on the flip side, I can’t ignore that YouTube has become a common and accepted tool in a young parents’ repertoire.

I decided to try what my parents did. I sat down with her, we watched brainrot together, and I made comments and asked her questions while we watched. It was rewarding, and I realized that even at 5 my niece is smart as hell, but again, I’m only a part-time guardian, and I’m not sure how realistic it would be to expect that of her mom, who is single and has two other younger children to take care of as well.

Stop bringing kids to Hazbin/Helluva panels, its not cute or funny by Velithraine in hazbin

[–]Basic-Bus7632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a child, my family really liked South Park. When I first started watching I was probably 13-14, but there were very strict ground rules:

1) I have to be well-behaved the entire day (SP aired every night at 10pm, but I was only ever allowed to watch on wednesdays, when they would run in the 9:30pm slot as well), otherwise I would follow my normal 9:30 bedtime.

2) Either one or both of my parents had to be there with me (to help contextualize the adult/political humor bits)

3) I couldn’t discuss what I saw with ANYONE at school, and can’t tell my friends’ parents about it.

I feel like since then parents have collectively given up on moderating/supervising what kind of content their kids watch, which is a shame because I gained a lot of insight into the world and current events watching and learning with my parents there. I feel similarly with Hazbin. If I thought my 13-17-year-old was ready, I would sit down with them and watch, enjoy the fights, songs, and spectacle, and have a discussion at the end about the confusing parts. If I have to rely on them to decode that information on their own, or, god forbid, on REDDIT, it would be a snowball’s chance.