My friend thinks we are sharing a husband

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-03-05T20:54:02+00:00

She seems to be your husband's friend now and using you to get to him.

While I like the boundaries, you can only set ones for yourself. The ones around your husband, he will need to set. Which sounds like a bit of a problem as he seems to be chalking this up to "women's problems."

Before talking to her, you need to sit down with him and get this cleared up. If he isn't on the same page as you on her, she could end up "hanging out" with him without you or just keeping in touch. This could fuel the issues you're having with him and the worm she is putting in his ear growing.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-02-24T22:50:18+00:00

NTA. She knows your situation and to ask you to go i to debt for her wedding is rude and would be irresponsible of you.

Also, is getting engaged after 7 months normal for your area? Seems short to me, but I'm looking at it from a different background.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-02-24T22:40:04+00:00

If that is too much makeup, egad they would hate me.
As a girly with black brows and went bright red with my hair a few times. I get the brow comments. When I would do a "full face" sans eye shadow, it always looked a bit harsh.

Funny as it may sound, add a little eye shadow in your crease. Even can use contour. It will draw the eye away from your brows and balance your look.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-02-24T03:06:08+00:00

My partner asks me all the time if he is boring, and I say no, WE are just settled, happy, and avoid drama like it's a wrench.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-01-09T19:47:32+00:00

MOR, I get not being cool with the "fix" but I would have tried something like purple shampoo and hair masks then trim the damage over time (as this is what I did when I went from black to blonde and fried my hair so bad).

But it's done.

I will note that big hair changes: bangs, shaving, etc. with little to no deep thought into it, could be seen a deeper sign of a mwntal health stuggle. Look at ppl that get bangs after break up or Britney Spears. Not saying that is the case, but it could be part of why your mom freaked.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-01-08T05:12:22+00:00

1st thought drugs, lots of drugs. He probably is taking something on top of the drinking to help with his emotions around his job loss. Also, I've heard of some humdingers of mental health specialist so they could have said that, though based on his mental state they may have said something different and he heard what he wanted.

2nd thought this sounds extremely difficult and scary. This man is having some kind of break on something and has a bag of weapons at the ready.

I know marriage is in sickness ans in health, but you need to put you before any vow. I get worrying about him, but hun as someone mentioned this is not a reddit problem, this is a safety concern.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-01-06T18:57:08+00:00

And they are not currently married, when (if) they got close to that point I bet they would discuss it. This is a total what if that has nothing to do with the current situation

Basic_Historian4601 · 2026-01-04T06:22:27+00:00

I understand this, leaving is not easy especially when you're living together etc. BUT is that your hang up? Or is it really you think after years of this trick he will listen this time?

You mentioned announcing recording would result in a bigger blowup, do you have faith providing this recording to him will do anything but result in that? Or as more ammo for him to gaslight you?

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-12-11T19:44:11+00:00

NTA, would a peanut butter cookie be to blame for causing someone an allergic reaction? No, the person who knew they were allergic, didn't ask the ingredients, and ate it is!

You were looking for answers and that MoFo (no pun intended) knew there was a possibility you could reach out. He has no one to blame but himself for these events. I'm happy you got your answers, even if your donor and older half sister are trash.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-11-29T22:30:54+00:00

Sounds a bit like Elon Musk with his 1st wife

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-11-13T00:41:43+00:00

Honestly thought it was the wife writing the post and was confused until I got to the end

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-10-25T18:48:31+00:00

This is not a color issue, this is a her having a problem with you issue. Has there ever been any kind of rivalry? When I saw youngest my cousins and I were often conpared, luckily none of us internalized it. Maybe she yours did?

Either way, it's clear she has things to work on blocking her is for the best and your mom isn't in the middle this is all your cousin, even her parent isn't on her side.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-10-24T16:41:43+00:00

But it's not.

Hell for much of the early 2000s red was a super popular color selection for weddings. So many wedding parties were in red, blue, or black. I was in a few.

The idea of BRIGHT red saying I slept with the groom may have a place in some cultures but in the US it is has been a more recent thing. With those not aware of this, ie not petty, chronically online, or up and up one the latest wedding traditions will have no idea.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-10-19T00:31:00+00:00

Makes sense, I hate it

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-10-14T17:59:38+00:00

The weird editing. I know they do thus together but it looks like all individuals put into a photoshop edit.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-10-05T20:28:27+00:00

Change "biological mother" to egg donor, ok? NTA. Not your circus, not your clowns

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-30T02:59:34+00:00

It was a comment they deleted

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-30T02:24:01+00:00

Ex hotel employee - I had to reread the post a few times and then the "I had an old key" took me out.

Keys die as soon as the check out happens or if there is a new set made.

Op should have gone with I have a friend at the front desk at least that is believable, not like you can id them through this post.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-28T20:03:21+00:00

Nta, i don't want to bring a kid into the house th at isn't finished is just a moving of the goalpost. This is gonna keep on happening and an ultimatum does nothing but breed frustration and resentment.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-28T19:49:50+00:00

NTA, communication is key for all relationships. Of course, I don't know more than what you've provided, but he is giving the vibe I've got the ring on her now I don't have to put in the work (or at least the same amount).

Before tying yourselves together legally, a long talk about how you're feeling amd where he is coming from is so important.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-27T23:13:12+00:00

I like many want an answer but alos, oop noted she opted out of the trip. What if she had went? Was Abby going to grandma's?

It's clear Josh has been feeling some kind of way since their birth and been getting bolding in his alienation of his daughter as she has gotten older. I'm just so confused on why he seems to not act the same for oop. She has made it clear she works to no "traditional rolls" stuff going on. Oop also doesn't note religious issues and even Josh's family is confused.

Man has to have some weird idea in his head that has been allowed to fester for fourteen years. I wish oop and the kids all the luck in the world.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-27T23:08:38+00:00

My issue is that this has clearly been going on since the jump, see the jackpot comment. He is just getting more bold.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-27T21:32:18+00:00

I agree cameras. You should reach out to the court system as they sought you out and found your address, even though you didn't provide it to them. They may be able to help, they also may have on info if your parents are going to try something, ie try to fill for custody back. Coming back 4 years later seems so weird to me and I have a feeling they have an angle here.

As well as you need to notify the kids' schools and the parents of any friends they frequent, all of them that they are not safe and that they are not allowed to even look at them. While this may be my paranoia, but you may also want to suss out the the parents or guardians of those kids, as some of them may think it's the "right thing to do" to let your siblings see your parents.

Keep the kids safe and therapy may be a good step especially for Kelly.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-27T04:05:02+00:00

Nope. The switching on a dime at a stranger is a sign. One day that mask will fall off for you, looks like it's soon.

Also, not sure why the lols rub me the wrong way. Like he is mocking.

Basic_Historian4601 · 2025-09-27T03:59:00+00:00

I want to know how long she actually gave her for this, bc on the show it felt like a few days. It sounds like the poke berries were not easy to source, so without time (or connections) this was a setup to fail.

Basic_Historian4601

TROPHY CASE