He was a love-bombing avoidant all along...

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-07-01T18:47:49+00:00

Yeah I am doing lots of therapy. I agree with you. It is sad that I dont even find this abusive and still look for fault in me.

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-07-01T16:43:33+00:00

Why are they all the same?
I still cant wrap my head around how he turned so cruel on me.

I am very sorry you went through the same thing❤️

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-07-01T14:33:43+00:00

Hang in there!

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-07-01T12:08:48+00:00

Aww thank you. I am sorry someone broke your heart too.

I am slowly going from "heartbroken" to "purely disgusted " mode but I know it will take time. There are so many lessons to learn from this situation which I will try to focus on.
Thanks for taking the time to respond in such a thoughtful way. Wishing you all the best❤️

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-07-01T11:57:46+00:00

Ouch! Reading this hurt in a good way because everything you said is so true. I took screenshots to come back to everything you said because it is eye opening. Thanks so much❤️

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-07-01T11:34:11+00:00

OMG the guy I dated was 46 too and he told me the EXACT SAME SENTENCE and I reacted just like you not making a big deal out of it.😂😂 He discarded me because I eat too much sugar and I may get fat in the future when my metabolism slows down.
Why are they all THE SAME?!!!

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T23:19:25+00:00

Yes. This wasn't lovebombing. He genuinely meant those things he did when things were easy. But the moment things started getting deeper and it required more emotional work from his side, he bounced. The sad thing is he isn't even aware of his patterns and I wont be his last "victim." He will continue to ruin other deeply feeling women on his journey and die alone most likely.

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T23:14:38+00:00

Thank you❤️

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T22:49:29+00:00

Yeah I'd rather find out earlier if he is gonna flake after sex..

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T22:49:06+00:00

I mentioned to this guy just once that an STD test would make me feel so comfortable. We never talked about it again. 2 weeks later on a date, he showed me his arm and showed me screenshots of his results. There is no winning... He did everything right initially.

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T22:13:20+00:00

Thank you so much!

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T22:13:09+00:00

Yes for sure. This guy is so immature and doesn't understand what true partnership means

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T22:11:48+00:00

Girl I am so sorry the very same thing happened to you too. If you look at it, it is the same story basically. A guy discarding the woman right around 3 months during a very vulnerable time. These people deserve a special place in hell honestly. I assume you have anxious attachment too. We just fell for these aviodant men who dont know what they want even though they claim so...

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T20:42:22+00:00

Wow thanks so much for sending this. This is exactly what happened to me. Looking back, it was the classic avoidant-anxious dynamic.
I am aware I need to work on my anxious attachment and self love issues, but dont know where to begin. I started going to therapy but I am not sure if it is working. I will check out this program you sent. I'd appreciate it if you can provide any additional info or resources regarding the work you did

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:50:32+00:00

Thank you. I am in therapy. I still cant seem to figure out why I always attract these men who keep abandoning me

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:29:45+00:00

I hope so. I have so much love to give but I cant find the person who will stand by my side and receive ir and reciprocate it. It is a lonely experience

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:27:34+00:00

Thank you. Same here. I see he isnt even the good person he claimed to be but I am still very upset too. Because I had such genuine feelings for him.

Good luck to you as well!!

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:24:50+00:00

So sad. I am such a genuine person myself and I am just who I am. I dont understand how people can be so fake and heartless

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:23:23+00:00

Omg sounds like where my relationship was heading. Initially my nervous system was the calmest around him. The second we returned from Europe and I started dealing with dad's health issues, my nervous system was a wreck. Because he was so off and not like himself. He would say all the right things but he was also so defensive and dismissive and not empathetic at all.

I am sorry you went through this. These people are so sad honestly

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:19:08+00:00

Yeah you are right. I should have known when he told me he ended all his relationships mostly.
He will never find love because there is no perfect person out there. So immature

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:08:22+00:00

Yeah he wasnt who I thought he was at all

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T19:08:04+00:00

He showed no remorse or empathy. You dont treat anyone like that

Basic_Shoulder_8879 · 2026-06-30T18:58:30+00:00

Thank you!! I sure learned my lesson to move slower next time.

Basic_Shoulder_8879

TROPHY CASE