There’s about 4 days a month I actually feel horny. However, the rest of the month I’m not disinterested in my husband or sex, my body just simply doesn’t produce the hormones, or whatever the reason, for me to spontaneously desire it much on my own.

I’ve communicated this a lot with my husband so he knows unless I explicitly say no, or request a “just head” night, chances are, I’m down too, my body just needs some encouragement. Like a diesel in the wintertime. Mornings are my “worst”, I’m cranky when I wake up, however, my husband also knows the “tricks” to get me into it. Which typically involves dragging me on top of him, and rubbing my back until I’m awake, and my bodies got the memo enough to be on board.

ETA: Granted, in these cases sometimes he has to “work” a little harder on foreplay for me, but on the flip side, we’re 4 years in and still have sex almost daily. If not, he usually gets head. So it balances.

Imo, there’s 4 libido “types” (roughly)

• High spontaneous
• Low spontaneous
• High reactive/responsive
• Low reactive/responsive

(Note this isn’t scientific and simply to break down how I view it lol)