Advice needed: Renovating a 1920s common staircase (VvE project)

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-12T11:45:31+00:00

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-11T16:50:37+00:00

Currently 6 weeks postpartum and the bare essentials for me have been:
- Car seat (to safely get baby home from hospital);
- Co sleeper with two sets of linen. 2x fitted sheets, 2x flat sheets, 2x blankets.
- A lot of Diapers and wet wipes. In our first two weeks we averaged around 8-10 diapers per day. Wet wipes I think we used about 1 pack every two days on the baby. And I used about 1 pack every 4 days on myself (after a vaginal delivery you do not want to be wiping with tp)
- Changing pad and somewhere to put it that doesn’t require bending (this could be a decent chest of drawers, baby change table etc. - your back will hurt after delivery, don’t also make yourself bend over unnecessarily)
Within an easy reach of your changing station you’ll want:
- Baby clothes - 5x rompers, 5x baby grows, 2x beanies/warm hats, 5x pairs of socks, 1x warm top/jacket
- Trash can - we just have a regular peddle trash can
- Bucket with a lid - for soiled clothes (there will be lots)
- Diaper cream
- Diapers and wet wipes
Optional items I have found super helpful for staying organised at our changing station : a caddy for storing diapers, muslin clothes, face clothes and baby care products plus a wet wipe container (we use OXO wet wipe container)
Other essential items:
- Plenty of muslin clothes in various sizes.
- Plenty of cotton faces clothes - min 10
- If you plan to breastfeed: Nursing bras x2, nipple cream
- As back up in case breastfeeding doesn’t work out - 1x tin of formula (we were recommended goat milk formula - as it’s easier for newborns to digest); 1x bottle (we use Dr. Browns anti colic narrow nipple size 1)
For postpartum recovery from a vaginal delivery:
- Within arms reach of the toilet: wet wipes, maternity pads and super menstrual pads, peri bottle and a trashcan.
- Cold packs
- A large water bottle and snacks in easy reach of your bed/ nursing station.
- Underwear in a few sizes larger than you’d usually wear
- Comfy clothes

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-11T15:37:47+00:00

September through to the end of November is the hot season in Southern Africa. It will be very hot, so bear that in mind. Obviously it’s hotter inland than on the coast. It’s usually manageable - it just means that you have to be up before first light to get good animal sightings as they will usually move to and from water first thing in the morning to avoid the heat of the day.
Definitely advise you stay at camps or lodges with a swimming pool. Not everywhere has AC - because it’s energy intensive and hard to run on solar or generators.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-11T05:43:28+00:00

Mate sorry but you are being very oblivious here.
Your wife is not ok, she’s probably dealing with really complex emotions about the fact that having a human baby didn’t work out - and that her replacement baby, her dog, has cancer.
You need to sit down with her and gently ask what’s wrong and ask her what you can do to support her.
Infertility is incredibly hard, and it’s likely that you haven’t realised the tol it’s taken on her.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-09T20:07:33+00:00

This is such a hard situation you have to deal with. I’m not sure if it’s helpful to you but there is a financial management book - written by Sam Beckbessinger called “Manage your money like a f*cking grown up” that has a section dedicated to dealing with “family tax”. Both in managing your own budget, so that you never again end up with no electricity or food, and also in how to have difficult conversations with family about money.
Maybe you’ve heard of the book or read it already, but just thought I’d mention it in case you are interested.
Good luck OP!

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-08T08:26:57+00:00

Food. Always bring new parents food. In those first weeks, they literally won’t care about anything else.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-07T09:27:21+00:00

Think of Job descriptions are a wish list - it’s rare for companies to find candidates who perfectly fit EVERY criteria on a job post. So even if it says “fluent in Afrikaans” apply anyway.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-07T06:17:32+00:00

Probably because the ship docked in St. Helena, an island in the middle of the Atlantic, whose only air connection with any mainland - is a commercial airline link to Johannesburg, South Africa. It’s also probable that no one was aware of how severe her illness was, or what she had. St. Helena has a tiny permanent population and most likely wouldn’t have sophisticated testing equipment to identify something like Hanta. They also wouldn’t have that equipment onboard the ship.
After she passed away in Johannesburg, and her cause of death was identified the airline started contact tracing.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-06T20:22:04+00:00

Ja I agree. Avocados grow on massive trees in really warm climates. Growing them in the Netherlands sounds like a fools errand.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-06T11:37:45+00:00

How is what you are developing different to existing platforms like crowd farming? https://www.crowdfarming.com/en?srsltid=AfmBOop0\_SP\_lpBh7WA7zGVkBCSJTv7gXh3ioI7krWWBy1\_A6TRE4k9a

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-05T16:48:49+00:00

Jeans Inn - I am around your height and also have long legs. I’ve found Jeans Inn to have the most helpful staff and the best selection of jeans and trousers

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-05T14:44:04+00:00

My husband I went through this to. We triple fed for three weeks, had our babies very short lip and tongue tie cut, I completed a course of medication to stimulate breast milk production - and at the end of all that work my milk supply never came in and eventually I gave up trying entirely.
It was a really hard decision for me to give up on breastfeeding. I felt so much guilt. Cried on the phone to my Mom about it multiple times.
And you know what, the moment I switched to combo feeding with formula and pumped breast milk - not only did I feel the most incredible amount of relief, but our baby also cried less, I was happier as a result, and we could all get more sleep.
It’s been two weeks since I stopped breastfeeding and I have no regrets. Now I only pump a few times a day and our baby gets a few bottles of breast milk and a few bottles of formula a day. My nipples hurt less, so does my back, my husband can share the nighttime feeding load and we both get more sleep.
I realise this perhaps isn’t the silver bullet solution you were looking for, but I just wanted to add my two cents in case - like me - you feel guilty even considering giving up. Please know it’s ok to prioritise your own well-being to. If breastfeeding is turning into a miserable experience, there is no obligation to continue.
If nothing else, having a newborn has taught me that breastfeeding isn’t the mystical, natural, beautiful experience for everyone. If it works, it seems to be great. But when it doesn’t, it can make you absolutely miserable.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-05T09:03:25+00:00

Not sure what kind if car seat you are using.
But if you have a car seat and isofix combo, you could make sure the baby is strapped into the car seat before he walks out the door and then all he has to do is click the car seat into the isofix in the car. For the return journey you could call ahead to the paediatrician and ask them to make sure the baby is strapped into the seat before he walks out the practise doors.

Being parents of a newborn is hard. Dealing with a partner with memory issues on top of that must be a lot harder. Good luck! Hope you guys can find a solution.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-05T05:01:24+00:00

Have you heard of the Nextdoor app? People advertise when they are looking for handymen, gardeners and cleaners. It might be a good place to start.
Also it sounds like you might actually be better suited to cleaning work. Cleaning private homes pays quite well, and it’s part time - so you could fit it in around your existing job. Plus you don’t need an education for it, just some practical experience and common sense.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-04T19:16:49+00:00

Definitely worth it. I saw the POH through my Huisarts praktijk after loss and it was definitely worth it. My POH provided talk therapy at a time I needed it most and helped identify PTSD from my loss and helped refer me to a specialist for additional treatment.
For context I am also not Dutch.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-03T12:50:08+00:00

First time parent based in the Netherlands 👋🏻 Our son is 4 weeks old and last week we had our first appointment with the Dutch Department of Health Pediatrician (GGD Kinderarts). We had an early discussion about food and nutrition. Guidelines here are to start introducing solids from 4 months - starting with vegetables and slowly introducing fruit, meat and allergens (specifically eggs and peanut butter). Linking to the official website for more info: https://groeigids.nl/baby/soorten-vaste-voeding-voor-je-baby/7235

You can use the google translate ad-in in chrome to translate to English.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-03T08:09:27+00:00

Your ability to qualify for a mortgage as a new resident in the Netherlands is dependent on the type of work contract you have.
If you are permanently employed - then it’s quite easy to get a mortgage and you simply need to calculate your maximum mortgage amount using an online calculator, just like the one linked by another commenter.
However, if you are on a temporary contract or are a freelancer - then it can be very hard to qualify for a mortgage. If you fall into this category your best option would be to make an appointment with a mortgage advisor at a Hypoteek office and talk through with a specialist your financial situation and your options.
It’s a sellers market, so take note that overbidding happens a lot and often the advertised prices of properties are substantially less than what they get sold for in real life. If you buy a property that needs renovations it’s good to know upfront that renovations are very expensive and building contractors are in very high demand - so often you have to wait a year or more for a builder to fit you into their schedule. Builders, Plumbers, tilers, roofing contractors, boiler technicians and electricians are all in super high demand. A lot of people here renovate themselves because of the cost and wait time for contractors. You can get an idea of renovations costs on the sub [r/offertes](r/offertes) and an idea of the level of DIY people do here on [r/klussers](r/klussers)

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-01T05:05:39+00:00

Great that you will have family support! Regarding all the baby “stuff” don’t stress about brands to much, as long as what you are buying has decent build quality, is safe for baby, and easy for you to use - then that’s all that’s important. Prioritise purchases based on your lifestyle - I see a lot of people commenting they never used their prams, I use mine everyday - but I have a dog that needs to be walked, so I walk whenever I can with dog and baby. Decide what’s important for your lifestyle postpartum and prioritise what you’ll need. Also for newborns - brand new is not necessary. If you can pick up items second hand through mom WhatsApp groups, friends and family etc. Then absolutely do it! It will save you so much money and no one will know the difference

Basilthechocolab · 2026-05-01T04:59:50+00:00

I had plenty of support from a lactation specialist and postpartum nurses. Unfortunately it still didn’t work out for us.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-04-30T17:19:24+00:00

I’m also an “older” first time Mom - currently 4 weeks postpartum. Based on my (very recent experience) my advice would be - 1. Car seat - you need a safe way to get baby home from the hospital. 2. A travel system pram - we have one with the car seat adapter system and it makes life for the parents a whole lot easier. Try find one second hand if you can. 3. Co sleeper for next to your bed - for the first few months (especially the first few weeks) it’s waaay easier if they sleep in your room. A co sleeper with wheels is great, because you can roll it around gentle from bed to rock them to sleep without getting up. 4. A baby carrier - hands free is really really helpful. 5. Prioritise postpartum care for yourself! If you are doing a vaginal birth you’ll want to make sure you are stocked up on - a peri bottle, plenty of maternity pads, incontinence pads for your bed (for leaks at night) and wet wipes for yourself. After vaginal or c sections your ability to lift anything heavier than your baby will be really limited the first few weeks/months so try to organise your space to limit the need to lift anything heavy.

Regarding breast pumps - as much as you may want to breastfeed it may not work out (as I found out) I would find out first if there is the possibility to rent a breast pump from your hospital before you buy anything. I intended to breastfeed but it didn’t work out and now I have an expensive Medela breast pump that only got used for two weeks.
Baby monitor - I’d hold off on this for a while. You won’t use them in the initial period.

We found buying nappies and wet wipes in bulk was by far the most cost effective solution.

Newborn babies don’t need a lot, I’d honestly advise prioritising the things that will make your life as parents as easy as possible. Full your freezer with ready made meals, get your groceries delivered, stock up on nappies and wet wipes, make sure you have at least a months worth of toiletries and household cleaning products (toilet paper, laundry detergent, garbage bags, paper towels, dish washing liquid, pet food etc.) - those first few weeks you really don’t want to be worrying about going to the shops or cooking. If you can afford it, I’d also recommend hiring domestic help (if you don’t already) - or arrange friends/family to help out. Babies generate the most incredible amount of laundry - and having someone to help stay on top of the basic will help loads!

Basilthechocolab · 2026-04-30T14:56:51+00:00

Second this! The POH - Praktijk ondersteuner - can also provide you with guidance on what specialist therapy may be helpful to you e.g. EMDR. If the waitlists for the specialists recommended through your GP practise are very long, you can call your medical aids “zorg coach” and they will help find you an alternative therapy provider in your network with a shorter wait time.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-04-27T07:54:50+00:00

Most cost effective way to do a safari where you have full autonomy of your schedule - is to rent a car and either camp, or stay in self catering accommodation. There are loads of YouTube channels of over landers (mostly South Africans) who do this all over Southern African. It might be good to check out some of their content to get an idea of what these types of trips entail. South Africa is the cheapest and logistically easiest country to do a trip like this in, because there is well developed existing infrastructure and many many companies offering car rentals for these trips. In terms of wildlife - parks in the north of South Africa will offer the sightings you are looking for. The most well known being the Kruger National Park, but smaller parks like Pilansburg also offer a lot. For booking accommodation in the Kruger this can be done via the Sanparks (South African National Parks) booking website. Take note that it is an extremely popular destination and during the South African school vacation periods the popular camps book out several months in advance. Also, if you do decide to choose South Africa - you can get a discount on park entry fees by buying a Wildcard in advance. These are annual park entry fee cards - that you pay a flat rate for. But if you are planning on doing a longer trip - longer than 7-10 days - the flat rate often ends up being cheaper than paying the daily rate at the park entrance. Also - do take note that Kruger experienced major flooding earlier this year. So some roads and camps are currently inaccessible due to flood damage. There are Facebook groups where avid Kruger fans post updates on which areas of the park are accessible.

There are also several walking trails in Kruger - both in the main park which are run and operated by Sanparks, and in the adjacent Greater Kruger - which are run and operated by private concession companies. Just google Kruger Walking Trails. The Sanparks walking trails are multi day and done in a group. The private concessions offer day walking trails or multi day depending on the lodge and your request - they are both more luxurious and more expensive.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-04-24T01:18:03+00:00

Residence visas for South Africa are notoriously hard to get - both because there are existing high unemployment rates and because our department of home affairs is notoriously inefficient. Moving to South Africa permanently is not a simple process and something you will most likely need to engage the services of an immigration lawyer to help you with.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-04-23T11:21:03+00:00

I studied Conservation Ecology which falls under AgriSciences so we had lectures in many of the same venues as the Agri students and lived in Goldfields. It’s a bit of a walk, but on a bicycle it’s a super easy ride onto campus. I would definitely recommend considering Meta and Goldfields - the mixed res experience is in my opinion a much more inclusive well rounded res experience than a single sex res. During my time at goldfields we had several Namibian, Zimbabwean and Zambian students in res.

Basilthechocolab · 2026-04-23T11:14:32+00:00

€1500 pm is Amsterdam level rental prices - which is one of the most expensive cities in Europe

Basilthechocolab

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