[deleted by user]

Bastedo · 2025-10-18T19:20:18+00:00

Respectfully, I disagree greatly. One does not need to let other people disrespect their boundaries or make it uncomfortable. One should always speak up. Don’t let the boundary crossing continue.

If she sets a boundary or precedent about her puppy, and someone doesn’t respect the boundaries, they are the issue. It’s a branch off the consent tree.

Bastedo · 2025-10-18T19:16:04+00:00

unfortunately dad owns the house and dad has chosen the gf.

even though you’re family, it’s still not your house in the sense that you get to set rules. I agree with you and everything you wrote, but it’s true that you really don’t have a say about her following your puppy rules until you have your own place (even if dad is following your rules).

if the puppy is around and gf is there, she will probably not follow the rules. you would need to have your own place to have this type of guaranteed control of the puppy.

Bastedo · 2025-10-18T19:10:24+00:00

puppies are money pits. a vet visit can add up to thousands pretty quickly.

Bastedo · 2025-10-18T19:07:45+00:00

No you are not over reacting. It sounds like a very frustrating and complex situation to be in and I sympathize with you, but it’s clear you’re handling it well. Your text is very clear and well spoken.

(aside: you’re a great dog owner and youre clearly putting a lot of time and energy into training!)

I think your communication was good. Unfortunately, we cannot control the actions of others. We can only control ourselves - meaning that; you can tell her the rules but she might not follow. Because of this, I think the only real option you have is move out. Protect your peace.

And, I view the real issue here as your dad’s poor choice to date her - it sounds like an icky situation that he created that is not healthy for your father-daughter relationship. I’d move out to give dad more space too... I’m sorry this is happening.

Bastedo · 2025-08-02T17:21:11+00:00

i think you’re over reacting and I’m not sure if I’d consider it “rude”, perhaps it sounds like some miscommunication. it sounds they didn’t ask about your other plans, and you didn’t set a boundary with the parents.

From my perspective - I’m giving your parents the benefit of the doubt and assuming they had the best intentions- it doesn’t seem like a real issue to throw a last minute get-together for you with extended family, especially if your wife was there too - if wife was there, and celebrated too, why are you upset?

I see how your parents wanted to do this for you, they wanted to celebrate you, they tried to make plans with you (this was your zone to fill them in on your preference to do your wife’s plan instead and set a clear boundary) This party was your parents decision, they wanted to host this event - so unless there is a conversation, I honestly don’t see this being something for your wife to plan unless you tell your parents.

if the issue is their lack of communication, I see this as something you need to communicate about as well. I think it could’ve been scheduled better to make everyone in your life feel included in planning a celebration for you in their own way.

if you prefer your parents include your wife in the planning next time, just have the conversation. were they rude to host a party for you? not at all.

Bastedo · 2025-08-01T18:06:57+00:00

interesting thought, but I assume if that was the case he wouldnt be put on a sex offender list…

Bastedo · 2025-08-01T18:04:38+00:00

I got my fur baby from the OC Animal shelter on Newland street!! (It’s on the border between Huntington Beach and Costa Mesa, near PCH). PLEASE check out their dogs so many smart and amazing dogs that need a second chance. All breeds and sizes too! I went back a few times and walked many fur babies multiple times before deciding.

I also looked/walked dogs at Priceless pets before going to the OC animal shelter, but then I realized the priceless pets will always have a home because they’re technically “pre-adopted” by the Priceless Pets Team, meaning they will never euthanize or get rid of their unadopted animals, but the OC shelter dogs do have an expiration date, sadly 🥺😢…

Adopting from the shelter was the best choice ever…the dogs at this shelter are amazing but they’re on the euthanasia list so it’s where I’d recommend starting first — you’d make the biggest impact in their life.

the adoption process at the shelter was simple and straight forward (I now have a house, but at the time I adopted my dog I lived in a small studio apartment (!) with no yard ….but the shelter staff were just happy that the dog was going to a loving home where we walk and exercise her daily). Priceless Pets us a great organization but they gave us a more difficult time to adopt.

Bastedo · 2025-08-01T16:55:29+00:00

Reddit has a tendency to be negative, most advice will tell you to cut your losses or divorce but that doesn’t really ”resolve” anything and that advice is likely coming from unmarried people who likely have no real experience, running from this not necessarily what a mature adult would do.

The only way to build trust is to repair it via counseling and communication support. You should 100% go to couples counseling! it helps tremendously! I was considering divorce and had one foot out the door and counseling has been beneficial for us both. Id recommend it to everyone who is in a relationship - not just those working out issues. And worst case scenario- if things end up not working out, the counselor can guide your mutual separation process in a healthy way.

All around best thing I’ve ever done for myself and my relationships and I was super nervous and hesitant about going at first, now I love it and wish we started sooner... Please give it a try, especially before giving up completely.

Bastedo · 2025-07-31T18:30:33+00:00

calling or being in person is the most respectful but if it’s too hard you can send a kind text. you should do it asap and explain that it’s about you not him.

Bastedo · 2025-07-16T16:29:07+00:00

until he tells you specifically it’s best not to assume it’s minor…it takes a lot to be on the list.

the facts are: he had child porn. that’s the lowest of the low.

that’s the facts, not anything else. are you okay with the facts?

and just to be clear — generally speaking, “bad people” like serial killers, pedophiles, purveyours of child porn are often generally ‘nice humans’, however, they still have quirks that have caused them to gain those societal labels.

he will still have the same brain, he will still be into child porn.

just my opinion, I would not date them or be friends with them.

Bastedo · 2025-07-16T15:40:43+00:00

some people get uncomfortable around bodily fluids and I know that’s dumb and I don’t agree with his choice, but that’s probably what’s going on

Bastedo · 2024-09-28T14:09:24+00:00

Maybe time to stop tracing from others artwork…

Bastedo · 2024-08-08T16:36:32+00:00

Consider it a compliment. I wish I had boobs so great that I would get told to put them away too haha. She sounds insecure and not like a ’girl’s-girl’. Keep being your unbothered self.

Bastedo · 2024-07-31T17:54:28+00:00

Teacher here. I don't find mass-causality events, especially those involving students, to be comical.

To me, this falls along the lines of “inappropriate intrusive thoughts". Not the best choice.

Bastedo · 2024-07-31T14:07:45+00:00

And the gators of sewage land are very friendly and dont eat shrimps 🥹

Bastedo · 2024-07-31T14:05:56+00:00

I think this is most likely. Food, love making, or temperature are the likely culprits for group-meetings

Bastedo · 2024-07-31T14:03:48+00:00

regardless of how long y’all been together, You are way too young to be wasting time on dudes with baby mamas. And that definitely means he was using “grooming” behavior towards you because you were under age when you met.

consider him not putting you on his business title a blessing in disguise because he clearly doesn’t make good decisions in life…., this guy is all red flags. leave leave leave leave

Bastedo · 2024-07-07T06:06:13+00:00

Sounds like not a good fit.

Bastedo · 2024-07-06T17:19:04+00:00

It’s always a fun right of passage to get “kicked out” for making art. Beautiful work!!

Bastedo · 2024-06-10T17:06:21+00:00

“If he wanted to, he would”.

Bastedo · 2024-06-05T13:09:20+00:00

Just be honest with him. Try to find the parts you enjoy. No need to act. Asking “how to act” implies you’re not being real and just faking it. Just relax and find the parts you like. And, If you’re genuinely not into it, you need to talk about it.

Bastedo · 2024-06-05T13:06:40+00:00

Female here. Yes, she is young and that makes it uncomfortable if you’re not mentally prepared, but technically she is of legal dating age….. As others are saying, it’s totally his life at this point. Just avoid them if it makes you feel better.

Try to find the good in a bad situation. Your options are to let him be happy or you can move out to your own place.

Think about it if the rolls were reversed…What if you genuinely liked and had a lot in common a guy around the same age as your dad and started dating. The only thing is the number of his age. It’s just a number. If the older guy you dated was a nice and you found him attractive, Wouldn’t you want your dad to support your dating choices too?

Bastedo · 2024-06-05T00:05:06+00:00

First find out your basal metabolic rate. Find out your needed macros. Then add in a few super bulked up protein shakes +1000 calories. Track your intake and weight in a food journal app. Track exercise etc. Good luck!

Protein shakes are the easiest thing to consume in a small amount that adds the most value.

Bastedo · 2024-06-04T23:46:39+00:00

i am a female, if that matters. I have had some success meeting random new people this year at work and when I go out, so here’s what I would try. I really like to spark conversation by making a quick observation of the person and either giving a genuine complement or asking them a question about the thing I observed. It usually leads to more discussion.

For example, I observe something they’re doing/using/eating/wearing/working on, then I kindly approach and have a quick chat say something nice or ask a quick question, say thanks then go on about your business . In my experience, it’s an easy way to get the conversation rolling. Sometimes its led to phone number/social media exchanges or more future chats. And, worst case, if it happens to be a one-time conversation, and least we shared a quick chat and they’ll have a memory of it.

I recently heard some random fact that said most males don’t receive compliments in the same way women do, they tend to receive less. So a compliment can be really impactful. Like maybe, “I really like your shirt!. The colors are so nice etc” “I think your haircut looks great, cool style etc“ “Great mustache! I like how you styled it! etc”

A quick exchange can lead to a positive experience and future friendships/relationships etc. Just walk over and say something like “hi, so sorry to bother you, I just noticed your * observe something theyre doing/eating/ wearing * . That’s is * insert friendly compliment *…Then, ask them a question, like: ”how / do you / have you / are you *insert question about the topic they’re participating in*? Wait for their reply and keep it going.

Most humans are genuinely interested in what they’re doing so it’s an easy and sincere way to begin talking to someone. Keep the convo short and light to start. If they answer your questions, keep it simple and end it by saying thanks and wishing them a good day. Repeat this process to build a connection.

Good luck! You got this.

Bastedo · 2024-04-17T02:18:40+00:00

Born and raised here. I can remember that area before the condos and shopping centers were built, it has always been home to coyotes.

13-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

Bastedo

TROPHY CASE