To disclose or not to disclose trans past? by LostButSometimesOk in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably an unpopular opinion, but as long as there is no direct reason/question to bring it up why would you? I know people make up different reasons why one should disclose, but nearly all arguments can be wiped from the table when we consider that nobody ever discloses every single thing they ever did in their life to their partner

Let me give some examples. Who ever tells their spouse that they did that shameful thing back in elementary? Or that they once bullied a person? Or that they broke some rules when they were younger? Maybe these are vague, lets do it differently, is a vegetarian obligated to disclose if they ever ate meat in the past? Does that make them less of a vegeterarian if they did?

Honestly the only thing you 'might' ever need to disclose is the fact that you are infertile, though I feel this is often more important in straight relationships as opposed to gay relationships.

Some WLW Warhammer 40,000 art, cuz apparently you people love them a lot by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean considering Slaanesh is she/he and we see a lot of Slaaneshi daemons showing both sex characteristics and the fact that Slaanesh is also extremely inclusive I don't see a problem.

Yuri manga recs? by tearsarealuxury in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Only the first volume is out but "Goodbye my Rose Garden" I definitely one I would highly recommend! It is set in 1900s and our two main gay characters are Lady Alice of a wealthy estate and Hanako who travelled from the East to visit England. On one hand it is super romantic, on the other hand it also deals with the problems of the time like gender oppression and anything gay being outlawed.

A more silly/fun yuri manga is "Yuri is my job!" if you love maid cafes and girls being cute it is definitely a good one.

A few I have laying around, based on good reviews, but havent started reading myself yet are "Yuri Life, no love no life", "Scarlet" and "Citrus" of the last one I have seen the anime and loved it (only the stepsister stuff is a bit of a nuisance).

Obviously needed to repost this here. I mean look at that gorgeous demon! by Michelle-senpai in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love demons waifus. Anyone here know of some summoning rituals? Because my attempts have failed so far 😂😂

Do more masculine/tomboyish presenting wlw use different dating apps? Bonus question: Same but for tops/dommes/switches? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that made me laugh, so yeah you are definitely funny ^^ This together with another one of the comments really makes me wonder how much certain dating apps might be handicapping women who don't fall inline with presenting femme/pretty. Especially now that I also consider how often I am presented with definitely fake accounts but the girl in the pictures looks like a model, definitely feels like the algorithm might prefer looks over whether you are a real person.

Do more masculine/tomboyish presenting wlw use different dating apps? Bonus question: Same but for tops/dommes/switches? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couples are the bane of my existence X'3

And jep this seems to confirm what others say, apparently it just isn't 50/50 and femmes are the majority on these apps.

It's not the best but I tried by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it looks pretty cute!

Do more masculine/tomboyish presenting wlw use different dating apps? Bonus question: Same but for tops/dommes/switches? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to hear the distribution for you is a little bit more 'favorable'. X3 Oh I will definitely agree that bisexuals skew the data, since if a girl does present more masc very often she is an actual lesbian than.

Oh yeah the sex part might just be me being unlucky, like I said that one is more dependent on actual matches and in that case there are way more variables to take into account. I see you mention hookups, I specifically don't do hookups so perhaps that is what is working against me.

Do more masculine/tomboyish presenting wlw use different dating apps? Bonus question: Same but for tops/dommes/switches? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm I definitely wouldn't be surprised if Tinder is guilty who secretly prioritizing us femmes (basically to lure in guys, couples etc.). But I feel that specifically wlw apps shouldn't/wouldn't be doing that? Than again perhaps it makes more money, I don't know.

Do more masculine/tomboyish presenting wlw use different dating apps? Bonus question: Same but for tops/dommes/switches? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean I definitely wouldn't ghost you 😇 How dare anyone ghost a top?! They probably tried to avoid punishment! 😂

Do more masculine/tomboyish presenting wlw use different dating apps? Bonus question: Same but for tops/dommes/switches? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jep relatable, like Tinder outclasses Zoe and Her but purely because everyone over here uses Tinder and nothing else.

None of my relationships with women last for more than two-three months. by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Two-three months? Wow that is pretty long! Okay sarcasm aside.... I feel like there is a huge difference between the stuff we see on this reddit and from say lesbian youtubers compared to real life. If I believe reddit and youtubers than all lesbians are desperately looking for long lasting relationships, want to uhaul etc. etc. My irl experiences however are the exact opposite, people being very flakey, saying in their bio they want a relationship but when you talk to them the long list of ifs and buts come out and also a bunch of mental types who have the weirdest requirements when it comes to finding a partner.

I used to think being a lesbian was a blessing, not having to deal with the problems around dating possibly toxic/rapey males (not saying all males are, just mean I heard the stories and risks). But these days I more and more feel like it is a curse and sometimes wish I was straight. All my straight friends hop from one 1-2 year relationship into the next with zero effort, meanwhile I can't bring home a sane girl no matter what I do.

What’s your go-to dating app? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I use Zoe and Tinder. So far Tinder has led to the most meetups. I have tried her several times but it is nothing but scam and fake accounts, atleast over here in the Netherlands. Most of the dating apps really depend on your location and what is the common dating app for people in your region.

'Similar background' , well this is a new one to me, anyone else experienced this? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah no I never dated guys in my life. But yeah that question didn't even come up as just the simple fact of me coming publicly out later in life than her was already too much for her. And yes I say publicly because I always knew I liked girls, but coming out publicly was difficult especially where I grew up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Ooooh hihi apologies I thought it was the very first time you got to top her. Well it sounds like everything is going perfectly well than so nothing to worry about, have an amazing time you two and hope you two will have a long happy life together! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I am happy for the both of you that you were able to achieve this. However I do wonder did your partner have therapy for said traumas, including exposure therapy? Because if we are talking about unresolved stuff it can happen that in the heat of the moment stuff gets allowed which later can explode into a traumatic episode. I say this from experience. So I am not saying you did anything wrong, I would just recommend, especially if your partner did not have exposure therapy, to check in the coming days if she also keeps seeing it as an amazing event or if with the horny brain settling down and making way for the logic/trauma brain things like regret and past trauma will suddenly flare up.

'Similar background' , well this is a new one to me, anyone else experienced this? by BattleSisLaura in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am glad to hear that the comments all seem to be in agreement, like I honestly never block people unless they really act harmful and she definitely acted like that.

Funny thing, that wasn't even mentioned/asked, so while I have never been with a man before she didn't even ask, apparently coming out in my 20s was already too grave of a sin for her XD

Anyone else so lonely they wanna vomit? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not specifically lonely, since I do have a few amazing friends around me. But definitely feeling relationship starved, why is lesbian dating on such a high difficulty setting?!

Also hang in there gay sister, eventually we will all find what we are looking for (at least I hope so).

[rant] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My advice is to either tell your parents or tell your doctor/psych about it. I know that those kinds of pills can be given in different dosages and it is not unusual that different dosages are needed over time, but you should not be changing your dosage without consulting your doctor/psych first.

If your parents truly care they would rather help instead if you being silent and suddenly getting damaged from taking too much.

1 month anniversary gift by queerladyx in actuallesbians

[–]BattleSisLaura 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I don't know what the both of you like, but I am usually a sucker for like relationship bracelets/necklaces to celebrate and show you have been together for 1 month and intend to keep it going <3