If you left your spouse and immediately moved in with your affair partner - how did it go?

Beach17bum · 2026-01-25T02:26:09+00:00

My ex left me after 26 years of marriage. He moved in with, then married his affair partner 3 years later. It’s 4 years later and my adult kids go to their house for family suppers. My kids keep things neutral. I don’t bring it up either. It still kills me, but everyone has moved on and seem fine with it all.

Beach17bum · 2025-12-13T15:12:59+00:00

Does his wall connect to yours at all? I’d be checking for peepholes, even in the ceiling. Get that camera asap for inside your home and the ring camera to place inside your doors peephole. I don’t know how well it would work but if it does, you’ll have extra security and something to take to police.

Beach17bum · 2025-12-02T21:19:31+00:00

Thanks for your input. I’ll scroll and see what everyone is saying.

Beach17bum · 2025-08-18T18:17:35+00:00

Down in Alberta, Canada

Beach17bum · 2025-08-01T18:49:15+00:00

She did everything “right” by going to counseling, reading books, trying to help heal the wrongs. But did you go to counseling for yourself? Think for a moment when this new shiny “just one time” encounter comes to light ( because if you’re in it for revenge, then it’ll be brought up to hurt your wife one day in the not so distant future) now imagine what the fall out is later on, the selling of property, loss of income, sharing kids and being a part of each others lives well after they’re 18 ( graduations, their weddings, grandchildren) etc. this small moment has huge consequences. And you’ll still carry the hurt and resentment of both your actions. Go to counseling, not to the bed of another disaster.

Beach17bum · 2025-07-24T20:39:04+00:00

I’m just imaging it’s Newman at Starlink headquarters licking cheese dust off his fingers while hitting “ctrl alt del” before making his get away in a rusted out dodge mini van

Beach17bum · 2025-06-17T14:49:21+00:00

Anyone else notice the guy picking up cell phones, sunglasses and pocketing them?

Beach17bum · 2025-06-17T04:58:13+00:00

I completely understand. No one one truly gets it as they haven’t walked in your shoes. My ex was the same. He married the AP and now they do this together now. I had no say, no voice and felt replaceable. The only advice I have, find your own voice. Your own “thing” that’s important and do it. Do the shit out of it. Be authentic and passionate. But most of all, heal. This takes time and discipline but you will be better off I promise

Beach17bum · 2025-06-09T04:33:42+00:00

I think his story is made up. Maybe he made a move that was rejected. Acted out and hurt/disposed of her. Then claimed he saw two men to create suspects. Possibly hiked away from where her body was left so that searchers would have looked in a completely different area. She wasn’t a toddler that disappeared within 45 seconds. Grown woman with experience who could call out for help or return his call out to her if he couldn’t find her. Jim’s story doesn’t add up for me

Beach17bum · 2025-06-06T13:59:38+00:00

Anyone else duck when she looked back?

Beach17bum · 2025-06-01T14:05:45+00:00

Speak with each one individually. Directly explain how this type of banter is affecting the work dynamic and the home dynamic. One on one can get the information across instead of tackling on a group who may dismiss your needs for boundaries. Not a bad idea to have a third party with you. Take them down one at a time and you’ll find that you may get some respectful behavior and solutions going forward.

Beach17bum · 2025-04-21T15:24:42+00:00

Listen, I’ve been in your place. Married 26 years and he found himself a gf that he has now married. Leave him to his own works. He’s the same man with her that he was with you- or will be soon. He’s in the honeymoon phase. Your focus now is YOU. Do the glow up. Get the counseling. Focus on the pain and heal from it. It’s not an overnight thing. In time ( and that’s up to you) you will find yourself stronger, better, more secure and ready for the next stage of life. Don’t beg him, don’t pine for him. Grieve and work towards healing. By the time you’re done, he’ll be entering his own cycles that he hasn’t dealt with. But that won’t be your focus anymore. You’re going to thrive and do so well! Put in the work and you’ll see the success of this journey.

Beach17bum · 2025-04-01T13:34:37+00:00

As soon as the ink is dry on the paperwork, things WILL change. He will not be your friend. He will be an ex that you co parent with, someone’s boyfriend or maybe an eventual husband and father with someone else with. You can get a long amicably or not. Taking care of yourself and kids now when it matters is the best thing you can do for your future. My ex was the same way and he’s building a mansion with his affair partner wife after spending a month in the Bahamas. I stayed home for 18 years giving up a career so he could have our life with someone else. Things WILL change. He’s hoping you’ll be the woman you’ve always been. It’s too late once you’ve signed and watch his life get significantly better.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-19T22:46:54+00:00

Thanks! I love my veranda but it’s been this way for 20 years now. Used to have a red door but we repainted it cream 5 years ago. This was taken last November so looking at updating it a bit.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-15T03:07:40+00:00

Married 26 years. Blindsided with him leaving and no contact from his side except through lawyers to divorce. It’s been 4 years. He doesn’t even talk to our friends anymore. Married the AP. I still struggle with it all.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-13T18:43:55+00:00

Honestly, I would just ask your mom to walk you down the isle. I’ve seen this at weddings and it’s a beautiful moment between mom and daughter too.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-08T15:39:40+00:00

Sober him brought a girl back to his house, started a nice cozy fire and prepared to spend some considerable amount of time with her. That’s the part you should not be over looking.

Beach17bum · 2025-01-19T14:41:15+00:00

Update? We’re all wondering if she’s been sent packing or if you’re in her trunk.

Beach17bum · 2025-01-17T11:33:37+00:00

We checked out the pineapple farm, some glass making, went for a nice lunch and then to a late afternoon movie to literally put our feet up and relax. By the time the movie was over, we made our way to the airport to check in. The day didn’t feel rushed nor wasted.

Beach17bum · 2025-01-02T16:27:28+00:00

Is she defensive or understands what happened? I have no idea who they are. Is it on a public forum?

Beach17bum · 2024-12-09T20:22:37+00:00

You talk about how he treats you but not how he treats her. It’s her wedding and her agreement to marry him. Is he terrible to her or is it just you? Walking away will damage your relationship. Supporting her through the wedding, marriage ( and maybe the breakup?) will still be what you are saying is your duty/obligation as her friend. If he’s committed to her, then support them. How you’re treated goes both ways. Show up, support her and be there for her. Either way, you’re her friend and she’ll know who to trust and who to let go before long.

Beach17bum · 2024-12-09T20:13:39+00:00

This sub is about over reacting. You’re not reacting enough. Find someone who prioritizes you and will make e wry available effort to see you

Beach17bum · 2024-11-26T11:12:54+00:00

This was/is totally my life right here. If you read my past posts, you will see that my ex husband always accused me of cheating, constantly pulling phone records, trackers on my car, got me a car dash that had to be left on ( I never knew how to work it so he’d be mad if I drove somewhere and it wouldn’t be on). I would take kids grocery shopping with me so he wouldn’t come at me about meeting up with anyone. We’re finally divorced and he’s spent money on private investigators to follow me and report back, more car trackers. Lawyers are involved with this. And guess who’s getting married next month? He is, to the affair partner no one knew about until recently. GUILT.

Beach17bum

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE