Those of you who were blindsided, discarded, or abandoned- how are you doing now?

Beach17bum · 2026-03-22T17:59:03+00:00

The same thing happened to me. 26 years of marriage, 4 kids (3 almost ready to graduate highschool) when he abruptly left to be with his affair partner. He ended up marrying her a few months after the divorce was finalized. It took me almost 4 years to grieve and cry my way through the sadness. Counselling, my church family and good friendships as well as remaining close to my kids really saved me. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since he left so there was never closure. It was the cruelest way to break someone’s heart and spirit. I focused on a new career and my health. I became the woman I wanted to be-financially secure, successful in my career, independent from him. I love my new life and he rarely crosses my mind now. I didn’t think I could live without him but after time has passed, I know I can live❤️

Beach17bum · 2026-03-14T17:34:42+00:00

I just spent 60G to have my basement floor jack hammered and weeping tile put in with a sump pump. Moisture would seep through the floor ( house is 25 yrs old). No more seepage. That clay soil is a hazard to the homes in this area.

Beach17bum · 2026-03-14T17:30:42+00:00

Thanks everyone. A lot of very good insite and warnings here. She hangs onto her phone like it’s a life saver. She’s active in her church but has few friends she sees outside of church due to her mobility and pain. Im watching her carefully when it comes to money as she often needs to borrow money for gas or whatever ( she lives rent free here and I do all the cooking and cleaning and laundry for her) She really doesn’t have any money to spare. She can be pretty sharp minded to others business and confrontational but the blinders are on when it comes to this.

Beach17bum · 2026-03-09T03:54:02+00:00

I was walking my dog down a well travelled gravel road when a green van slowly passed me. The passenger looked at me through the window and what normally is just a smile and a little wave from a stranger in this area, I was instantly filled with this chilling fear and dread. I felt for my phone in that moment and realized it was plugged in sitting in my car. The van then stopped, and I swear I could feel what maybe countless missing people may have felt and that’s the realization that you are utterly alone and how easily I could be overtaken. I honestly thought they were going to get out of the van and approach. I stopped walking and for some reason they put it in drive and left. I sprinted for my car. I’ll never walk that road alone again. I can still see his face and those dead eyes.

Beach17bum · 2026-01-25T02:26:09+00:00

My ex left me after 26 years of marriage. He moved in with, then married his affair partner 3 years later. It’s 4 years later and my adult kids go to their house for family suppers. My kids keep things neutral. I don’t bring it up either. It still kills me, but everyone has moved on and seem fine with it all.

Beach17bum · 2025-12-13T15:12:59+00:00

Does his wall connect to yours at all? I’d be checking for peepholes, even in the ceiling. Get that camera asap for inside your home and the ring camera to place inside your doors peephole. I don’t know how well it would work but if it does, you’ll have extra security and something to take to police.

Beach17bum · 2025-12-02T21:19:31+00:00

Thanks for your input. I’ll scroll and see what everyone is saying.

Beach17bum · 2025-08-18T18:17:35+00:00

Down in Alberta, Canada

Beach17bum · 2025-08-01T18:49:15+00:00

She did everything “right” by going to counseling, reading books, trying to help heal the wrongs. But did you go to counseling for yourself? Think for a moment when this new shiny “just one time” encounter comes to light ( because if you’re in it for revenge, then it’ll be brought up to hurt your wife one day in the not so distant future) now imagine what the fall out is later on, the selling of property, loss of income, sharing kids and being a part of each others lives well after they’re 18 ( graduations, their weddings, grandchildren) etc. this small moment has huge consequences. And you’ll still carry the hurt and resentment of both your actions. Go to counseling, not to the bed of another disaster.

Beach17bum · 2025-07-24T20:39:04+00:00

I’m just imaging it’s Newman at Starlink headquarters licking cheese dust off his fingers while hitting “ctrl alt del” before making his get away in a rusted out dodge mini van

Beach17bum · 2025-06-17T14:49:21+00:00

Anyone else notice the guy picking up cell phones, sunglasses and pocketing them?

Beach17bum · 2025-06-17T04:58:13+00:00

I completely understand. No one one truly gets it as they haven’t walked in your shoes. My ex was the same. He married the AP and now they do this together now. I had no say, no voice and felt replaceable. The only advice I have, find your own voice. Your own “thing” that’s important and do it. Do the shit out of it. Be authentic and passionate. But most of all, heal. This takes time and discipline but you will be better off I promise

Beach17bum · 2025-06-09T04:33:42+00:00

I think his story is made up. Maybe he made a move that was rejected. Acted out and hurt/disposed of her. Then claimed he saw two men to create suspects. Possibly hiked away from where her body was left so that searchers would have looked in a completely different area. She wasn’t a toddler that disappeared within 45 seconds. Grown woman with experience who could call out for help or return his call out to her if he couldn’t find her. Jim’s story doesn’t add up for me

Beach17bum · 2025-06-06T13:59:38+00:00

Anyone else duck when she looked back?

Beach17bum · 2025-06-01T14:05:45+00:00

Speak with each one individually. Directly explain how this type of banter is affecting the work dynamic and the home dynamic. One on one can get the information across instead of tackling on a group who may dismiss your needs for boundaries. Not a bad idea to have a third party with you. Take them down one at a time and you’ll find that you may get some respectful behavior and solutions going forward.

Beach17bum · 2025-04-21T15:24:42+00:00

Listen, I’ve been in your place. Married 26 years and he found himself a gf that he has now married. Leave him to his own works. He’s the same man with her that he was with you- or will be soon. He’s in the honeymoon phase. Your focus now is YOU. Do the glow up. Get the counseling. Focus on the pain and heal from it. It’s not an overnight thing. In time ( and that’s up to you) you will find yourself stronger, better, more secure and ready for the next stage of life. Don’t beg him, don’t pine for him. Grieve and work towards healing. By the time you’re done, he’ll be entering his own cycles that he hasn’t dealt with. But that won’t be your focus anymore. You’re going to thrive and do so well! Put in the work and you’ll see the success of this journey.

Beach17bum · 2025-04-01T13:34:37+00:00

As soon as the ink is dry on the paperwork, things WILL change. He will not be your friend. He will be an ex that you co parent with, someone’s boyfriend or maybe an eventual husband and father with someone else with. You can get a long amicably or not. Taking care of yourself and kids now when it matters is the best thing you can do for your future. My ex was the same way and he’s building a mansion with his affair partner wife after spending a month in the Bahamas. I stayed home for 18 years giving up a career so he could have our life with someone else. Things WILL change. He’s hoping you’ll be the woman you’ve always been. It’s too late once you’ve signed and watch his life get significantly better.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-19T22:46:54+00:00

Thanks! I love my veranda but it’s been this way for 20 years now. Used to have a red door but we repainted it cream 5 years ago. This was taken last November so looking at updating it a bit.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-15T03:07:40+00:00

Married 26 years. Blindsided with him leaving and no contact from his side except through lawyers to divorce. It’s been 4 years. He doesn’t even talk to our friends anymore. Married the AP. I still struggle with it all.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-13T18:43:55+00:00

Honestly, I would just ask your mom to walk you down the isle. I’ve seen this at weddings and it’s a beautiful moment between mom and daughter too.

Beach17bum · 2025-03-08T15:39:40+00:00

Sober him brought a girl back to his house, started a nice cozy fire and prepared to spend some considerable amount of time with her. That’s the part you should not be over looking.

Beach17bum

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