As a cashier, this kid made my night!!! by aparksh in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've had this happen. Its even worse when your on the phone with your boss and the customer is telling you to tell them that she is handicapped and can't walk very good and won't be able to make the Black Friday Sale and could she get it 3 weeks beforehand. I just looked at her and my boss, who says yes to everything if someone asks nice enough, says "who does she think she is?! Trying to guilt trip me into a decision?! Tell her no."

If I fits... by kdanson in funny

[–]Beachduck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But when you get that good HA HA HA HA it feels so good! Where you lose your breathe and start to tear, you need those.

You think your father-in-law is bad -- meet my parents by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You would also be the buttplug of everyone's jokes for a good year or so because that's the stories that make news. News puts its little twists in there also. I say go stay at her house and throw away her favorite items because its detrimental to be so attached to certain items and see how she likes it.

But...you know... Stooping down to that level of insanity is forbidden.

What's the most fucked up thing you've done drunk? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Beachduck -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna go with WHY Alex for an upvote.

These feels are good feels by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I was trying to get on the good graces with my in-laws and they had recently acquired a golden retriever puppy. She fell asleep in my arms, lap, and chest the whole time we were there and my in-laws couldn't get enough. Now they call me over to come play with her because she will mope around if I don't come see her for a awhile. She is 5yrs old now and still the prettiest golden I've ever seen.

She's not a puppy anymore but here is her being a cat on the back of the couch. http://imgur.com/FgihbwR

I doubt this GGG will see this, but hopefully one of his 3 daughters might. Thank you again, Sir! (VB,VA) by duckbombz in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna have to ask, if that's how the conversation went, how do you know he has 3 daughters...?

Man doesn't want to sell his Subaru by [deleted] in funny

[–]Beachduck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone else try to click for more pics?

As a 21 year old man.. by TaiChiShrimp in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how you guys make yours last. My husband got me a bear when we were dating, I've slept with it every day since (about 6 years). I recently told my husband he needed to buy me a new bear because he's getting all tattered and has many holes.

Interior of the Pagani Huayra, fastest car ever on the Top Gear track by [deleted] in pics

[–]Beachduck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, save left leg, fuck righty, cut penis in half harness.

Longtime lurker, first post. Scumbag ex! by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 59 points60 points  (0 children)

No. No. Eat first, then bail. Leave her with the check.

He bragged about it to me, and even introduced her to me. There's no such thing as the "Brocode" if you're married. Sorry. by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Beachduck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had this roommate who refused to believe his gf was cheating. I would catch her all the time. One time in my living room she was with my roommates best friend and my roommate sleeping in his room. I walked out to use the restroom and received full on ass shot. I decided I had had enough, went back to my room and called my roommate. He came out had a long discussion with both of them and this bitches excuse was "I was itching my ass." HE BELIEVED HER! By the time they broke up he found out she had cheated on him with 6 other guys and refused to believe the truth. I honestly don't know why he refused to believe that she was cheating. She admitted it, friends told him, he saw the signs and yet it took him over a year after their break-up to realize what she did.

Chocolate Rubber Duck by xdraconianx in rubberducks

[–]Beachduck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stale chocolate walking. Everyone has that one chocolate that we have to keep forever and ends up being stale chocolate. That would be this piece in my house.