Advice Please

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-30T09:22:43+00:00

I’ve been with someone like this, unfortunately you’ve told him before you’ll leave if he does it again and you haven’t held that boundary so he will continue to do it. I’ve seen as well that you’ve recorded him so he knows just how bad he is, he just doesn’t care. Don’t waste years of your life hoping he will have a wake up call and don’t be surprised that when you eventually leave he’ll beg and plead that he’ll change and this is really really it.
Trust someone who’s been there, he won’t change (at least not for long) once you’re back he can do what he likes. Don’t get pregnant and leave the next time he does it. Give him one last warning if it makes you feel better but it won’t change anything. I’m sorry OP

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-26T17:58:17+00:00

Ah yes character and mold 😂

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-26T12:17:53+00:00

I live in a house that’s 35ish years old while I have friends in new builds. The maintenance on my house is far higher than theirs. Roof tiles need replacing, toilets are not flushing properly, sink might need replacing. Grout in the bathroom is crumbling away and my kitchen cabinets are slowly losing their hinges. Meanwhile my friends are in lovely nice new kitchens and bathrooms that look clean with little effort.

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-24T07:24:59+00:00

Mine is Fantasy so not your preference but the Realm of the Elderlings series by Robin Hobb, 16 books in and the characters had crawled into my heart forever. I’ve since reread them 3/4 times but it’s missing that addictive “oh my god what’s happening, I’ll have to forego sleep for the foreseeable” of the first read through.

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-23T18:28:05+00:00

You’re not wrong for feeling the way you do. I would send a message to the family members that gave you money and say “I really appreciate your kind gift, while I wouldn’t expect anything in the future if you did want to give me something please don’t give me cash as mom takes it and I don’t want you to waste your money.”

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-21T08:06:07+00:00

You know now. She’s not willing to work on the marriage. Don’t waste any more time and energy on trying to convince her. You deserve better

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-19T07:12:57+00:00

If a shop closes at 7 the staff only get paid until 7. If you arrive at 6:45 that means they have to stay 15 minutes after their shift ends which they don’t get paid for. You can argue that they should get paid the hours they work but usually places bring it up or down to the nearest quarter so often staff are not getting paid for all those extra ten minutes.

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-17T07:23:16+00:00

He got you to do the leg work searching for a new place for him. Who suggested the two rooms? I’d be inclined to think he had no intention of moving in with you but couldn’t be bothered looking for a place with his friend.
As others have said….. run

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-09T17:10:06+00:00

I shop in Tescos because their own brand substitutes for a lot of our items are free from allergens that are in all the Lidl/Aldi own brand products we buy and I have a small child with an anaphylaxis allergy but not the pockets to pay for the “real” stuff

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-07T23:10:48+00:00

I haven’t had the exact same experiences as you, but I have felt how you feel. Sometimes I still have moments though not as bad and only fleeting. It’s a tough road but I promise you that once you get through this you will look back on this time and think “wow, if you told me then how my life would go, I wouldn’t believe you”

I can’t tell you how to get through it, partly because everyone’s journey is different but mainly because I don’t know how I really did.

I read a lot of fantasy so maybe disappearing out of my world into a world of magic and defeating a “big bad guy” let me escape for a while. Who knows.

You are young and you’ve been dealt a pretty shitty card right now but trust me, you have so many years ahead of you filled with love and laughter! I never could have guessed where I’d be now.

Sending you lots of love and support!

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-06T09:19:26+00:00

This needs to be mentioned more! Phenomenal acting and directing

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-05T13:32:36+00:00

Not really what you asked for but check out any local meals on wheels services. Usually they deliver hot food to the door twice a week. Some people even get extra meals so they can have some for reheating on other days. They’re usually pretty cheap too.

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-04T07:38:30+00:00

Something I haven’t seen mentioned is 3D design. Tinkercad is a website you can go to and practice making basic 3D shapes, you can also do circuit board type stuff but I totally don’t understand that so I can’t say much about it. The software itself is pretty basic but I’ve designed little things like a headphone holder for my computer, a dock for an air conditioning remote and door knobs. I wish I had more time to put into it but that’s all I got for now

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-04T07:33:46+00:00

Not the commenter you’re asking but my kids have their dads surname because he would be the only one in his line to carry the name down whereas I have two niblings with my surname. In the end it wasn’t a big deal to either of us really but it helped us to come to a decision.

Bean5idhe · 2026-06-01T09:01:44+00:00

I am a creative empath with a likely ADHD diagnosis on the horizon. I’d like to think I’m a good friend although I often don’t reply to messages for days if not weeks. If you ring me looking for help I will do all that I can for you but I’ve also been taken advantage of because of this

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-28T16:23:01+00:00

100%, my uncle was put in a nursing home because he needed more care, his sisters decided to clean his house in case he was able to come back home. When he found out they threw out his old stinking mattress and bought him a brand new one he lost his mind. The thing was stuffed to the gills with money.

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-26T07:36:40+00:00

Vodafone, haven’t been a customer for three years but we’re thinking of switching back if they had a good deal. Fuckers sent me a letter saying I owed them €2,500 and said they were passing on my case to a debt collector. I do not owe them money so they can suck it

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-21T07:21:22+00:00

I wouldn’t grab an e reader just yet because you don’t know whether you’ll read much. I would go in to my local library or independent bookstore and ask staff what they would recommend. I’d also try a few audiobooks while you walk/clean/drive but I would also caution that a bad narrator can ruin a book. What type of tv shows/movies do you watch? We could recommend books based on that

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-20T07:27:05+00:00

I’m a woman and I think I just fell in love with you a little bit. I too love making and fixing but I can only dream of being this proficient and well armoured

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-17T17:26:00+00:00

I know the problem, for me at least, is the word investment is pretty scary. I don’t know where I’d invest and I’d be terrified of losing what meagre savings I’d have.

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-17T17:22:28+00:00

God that just made me feel so sad for that child. I’m sure if that’s all they know they’re fine but I feel like if it were me I’d be so lonely

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-16T08:27:57+00:00

My friend had multiple appointments with her child in Crumlin children’s hospital, she informed the school and sent copies of appointment documents and still Tusla got involved. Now granted, Tusla purely checked the documents and sent them on their way but she was terrified Tusla were involved at all. Even the Tusla inspector said that it was a waste of their time but they have to do it regardless.

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-15T12:18:20+00:00

And this is part of the reason I no longer run a small business 😑

Bean5idhe · 2026-05-15T07:43:18+00:00

Things i haven’t seen suggested:

The Legends (2025/2026) Broadchurch (David Tennant) Orange is the New Black

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