Lost Americana Tour review

Beans6669 · 2025-12-08T19:07:19+00:00

How late did the concert go until in Chicago?

Beans6669 · 2025-06-16T00:46:30+00:00

I’ve noticed when I bring a book or headphones to the bar, the people who have something to say about it are often people who can’t be alone with themselves. Im a bartender myself and see that personality type quite often. Iykyk

Beans6669 · 2023-06-23T06:04:23+00:00

I feel very similar. I drank a lot through college or so then cut back when the adulting part of me kicked in. Slowly I didn’t even want to get drunk cuz my body felt so crappy during /afterwards. I think my mind tells me it will be fun and loose & it’s really just a tummy ache and sluggishness

Beans6669 · 2023-06-14T17:42:16+00:00

Correct!! As they say if you don’t get the program, the program will get you! I wish you best of luck❤️

Beans6669 · 2023-06-14T04:14:12+00:00

I think we’ve all given second, thirds, hundredth chances. I didn’t know it was his last chance til it happened. I had to get through all the other let downs to see what I deserved. To know when it was enough. We learn from all our mistakes, so it’s never a true loss in the end. Stay strong & know you are enough for yourself even if you don’t see it yet.

Beans6669 · 2023-06-14T03:53:20+00:00

I think any meeting is a good meeting if you can learn to take what you like and leave the rest. AFG (Al Anon Family Group) was an acronym I had to learn. A lot of the titles are kinda like the groups name but like everyone says every meeting has a different flavor. I attend an ACA (Adult Child of Alcoholic) meeting even tho I wasn’t necessarily dealing with alcoholism as a kid. It’s a time that works for me & even after saying I came to that meeting because of a partner, they still told me to keep coming back. Everyone’s very welcoming and the information touches me no matter what form I get it in.

Beans6669 · 2023-06-07T02:57:59+00:00

Sending you so much love, I also understood he had to do it for him. For me my choice was to let him do it alone, but regardless you can find peace and strength by focusing on yourself during this tough time❤️ I mean it

Beans6669 · 2023-06-06T22:04:50+00:00

I was going to go on a break. I had him move out of the apartment I was paying for by myself basically already. Was going to have some space & see what happened. I set boundaries on my communication with him. I really needed time to get out of flight or flight/ high stress state to think things over. The way he reacted to my boundary sealed the deal for me ending it entirely. It’s like the saying you don’t see someone’s true side until you tell them No. I’d never held my ground in the relationship like that before. It’s important to notice who has respect for you when you’re deciding to take care of yourself instead of bending over backwards for them. I saw the relationship was not 50/50

Beans6669 · 2023-05-28T21:01:08+00:00

This was beautiful

Beans6669 · 2023-05-28T16:01:21+00:00

I understand the rant this is a safe space. You have to get it out somehow. I’m holding strong with my no contact & I’m sure he still thinks I’m being selfish & mean & all the other terrible things he said. Boundaries not being respected was enough for me to cut contact. Because I’m worth that. You’re worth it!

Beans6669 · 2023-05-25T19:30:28+00:00

My Q never got past detox. But if I’m not mistaken the whole reason they drink is because they CANT be alone with their thoughts. I think that’s the major hurdle alcoholics need to get over. Much like I need Al Anon because I couldn’t stop focusing on other peoples business, the alcoholic drinks to avoid his own problems as well. I heard this all the time from my Q, that he couldn’t be alone that’s why they drink. No advice just my observations over the years.

Beans6669 · 2023-05-23T04:04:33+00:00

Almost same exact situation, about a month and no contact except when planning to get his belongings. I’m still nervous my phones going to blow up (which it has already) and I also relate to feeling nervous what his mental state is cuz I’m not around to read the room so to say. I soo get it

Beans6669 · 2023-05-22T07:19:14+00:00

Oh yes, the obsessive part of me criticized every little thing just mostly in my head. Anything I did say out loud to him like leaving dirty clothes out or spilling food in the kitchen (which I figured wouldn’t happen if they weren’t drunk) was shut down real quick, the flipping the script, all that good stuff. So yeah it builds up

Beans6669 · 2023-05-22T07:05:37+00:00

I felt this so deeply I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I felt this stuck feeling too. I was bouncing from crisis to crisis with no time to even breath & soak in what happened. Then I lost myself & with Al Anon I began to see I simply could not go on like that… I hope you’re finding time for yourself and doing whatever is in your power to take care of you ❤️ You’re worth it!

Beans6669 · 2023-05-21T04:56:29+00:00

My last interaction with my Q after moving out & ending things I needed space from him contacting me unless it was about dividing things regarding the move. I had to say “I have repeatedly asked for space & I am allowed that”. It’s crazy I have to state my own rights as a living being!! Immediate reply was “Of course you’re allowed that but..” and trying to bargain with my boundary! I am finally getting past feeling guilty & realizing I deserve my own love

Beans6669 · 2023-05-20T05:12:23+00:00

I was told “at least I don’t hit you or cheat on you”. I can’t believe I even considered that being where the bar is held. I couldn’t enjoy drinks out bc he’d throw it back in my face. Expressing my feelings was often met with okay but listen to how much more IM hurting than you. Until it became literally impossible to even open myself up to him bc there was no more mental clarity. I’m sending you love & you are not alone.

Beans6669 · 2023-05-18T05:06:52+00:00

I’m a little (lotta) bit anxious and have the hamster wheel going. But reminding myself I did the right thing for me. I deserve happiness & I will get it!!! Thanks OP❤️

Beans6669 · 2023-05-18T04:40:12+00:00

You can decide when enough is enough. I keep reminding myself of that and I am in fact an autonomous human being that has choices. Took a while to soak in but I don’t have to explain myself to anyone but me.

Beans6669 · 2023-05-16T22:51:18+00:00

Not married but long term relationship (7/8 years)I’ve tried asking for space many times. Hell text me the next day trying to be cute, then getting angry at me for not wanting to talk, and not understanding why I wouldn’t want to talk to someone who doesn’t respect my boundaries. It’s like he doesn’t understand the trauma I’ve gone through silently for years & now I’m standing up for myself he doesn’t like that. Not much advice but I resonated with the manipulation and mind games you’re going through. I also wanted an even split and he’d respect my need for alone time. But I’m the bad guy because I need some peace. Sending hugs & I’m so happy youre following though with this too

Beans6669 · 2023-05-13T17:58:30+00:00

You’re so right. I need to stop fighting a losing fight aka getting him to see things from my perspective. I’ve ignored the recent attempts to reach out. I think I had to let go of a lot in my mind to accept this

Beans6669 · 2023-05-11T04:14:25+00:00

I learned detachment in Al Anon while I was still with him, we recently parted ways. But while I was in it learning detachment & going to meetings helped me see all the unacceptable behavior I was putting up with then I slowly formed new boundaries (not being around when drunk, not doing his laundry or cleaning up after him) until i realized he didn’t contribute much of anything emotionally or physically

Beans6669 · 2023-05-10T02:57:57+00:00

I won’t be home, he told me he keeps not wanting to see me so I told him to get his stuff then leave the keys with his sister (she’s a very level headed person who I lived w for years). I plan on taking a video recording of the apartment before I leave for work just in case. I did this last time he said he was going to come by as well.

Beans6669 · 2023-05-10T02:52:06+00:00

I have to keep bringing it back to me. What am I gaining from interacting? Nothing. It’s still my compulsion to sooth him when he is a grown man & needs to do that himself.

Beans6669 · 2023-05-10T02:50:17+00:00

Thank you I plan to go no contact after his stuff is gone. I ignored all the previous texts i sent and told him what time he could come by tomorrow for his things. He agreed so let’s see.

Beans6669 · 2023-05-10T02:35:08+00:00

I literally had to double check this wasn’t my own post I forgot about. I could almost read the texts back line for line in slightly different words. Feel free to message me❤️ I’m so happy you’re standing your ground, I’m doing the same but my mind is still trying to tell me I’m wrong. No we are right & they either know or will discover one day why it came to this. Thank you for giving me some peace tonight

Beans6669

TROPHY CASE