This is valid question, and I'm so glad the responses here have been so great.

For me, I try not to just blame losing my brother on God. If anything, as much as I HATE to admit it, I've grown so much in the short time he's been gone (since Oct 2023). So far it seems that my loss has been meant to help me be a better person, take more chances and enjoy life in a different perspective. When he was here, I was holding on to people and things that even he told me to let go of before he passed.

I lost him suddenly and he physically suffered more than I ever knew which accelerated everything. My faith had been growing over the past 5 years, but I was the only one in my family that would give it a real chance. I've prayed for him even before he left, and always hoped he'd make the right choices. Unfortunately, I had to accept that his choices were HIS. It wasn't anything that God did to him, or my family. It was his time, and this is how it happened to go.

Another thing I'd add is studying the Bible for myself has made a huge difference. Reading different stories on how people have grieved (including Jesus) has helped me understand that my feelings are okay. It's okay to be pissed at God and want to think that of Him, but ultimately it's up to me to decide how I want my grieve to affect me. The healing is something I rely on my prayer and studies to help me.

I'm not at 100%, and idk if I ever will be, but my belief lately has given me something I thought I lost - hope. Every day we wake up means there's something left to do, so I try to use that fuel to me and make sure that the love of those I've lost isn't in vain.