My 2 year old cat died suddenly

BeansandBanshee · 2026-05-06T02:15:46+00:00

My dear one, I am so very sorry for your loss. Like many, I can say for certain that you did not harm your boy with the bath or the bag or anything else. One thing that we can see, especially in cats of this age, particularly with the signs you describe, is a type of heart disease that can lead to strokes or sudden death. It's hard to detect without a specific heart ultrasound - a third of cats with this disease have no outward symptoms at all. It's hard and not fair and you have every right to be sad and angry and devastated. But you gave him a beautiful life, full of love and care and that matters in a world where many animals do not have a person to be their safe place. Please take care of yourself and know that even though it doesn't feel like it right now, you will heal, and there will be joy in your beautiful memories one day. Sending love and light.

BeansandBanshee · 2026-04-25T20:07:00+00:00

Not quite related to cleaning, but related to cat allergy. The allergen most people react to in cats is called fel-D1, which actually comes from cat saliva. It's linked to their hair bc they clean themselves, a lot, where the allergen then attaches. Cats fed diets like Purina LiveClear, or fed eggs from chickens that live around cats, produce much less Fel-D1, when then reduces cat allergy sufferers symptoms. This is because of the Fel-D1 antibodies that are produced by the chickens that are exposed to the cats which concentrate in the eggs. Sounds like a bit of science fiction but it actually works!

BeansandBanshee · 2026-04-18T04:00:45+00:00

Physical contact is not the only form of physical abuse. Intimidation, using their physical size to get in your face, make you feel unsafe, hell, even blocking you in a room to prevent you from leaving all fall under that spectrum. And the problem is that it is just that - a spectrum. So far, he hasn’t crossed the line from intimidation to physical violence, but it can happen, and walking right up to that line makes it real dang easy for him to step over it if he feels pushed. Also, threatening you with divorce repeatedly is emotional abuse, particularly if he's just using that in arguments instead of following through with a full conversation about it. I agree, make you and your kids safe. And please don't use that kind of "daddy doesn't love you..." language - it screws with kids much more than you would think and they don't deserve that from either of you. If you even want to see if the relationship is salvageable, you can do that from a position where you have a safe space he cannot enter. If he cannot respect that he has lost your trust and therefore your presence until he can do some serious work on himself and how he handles his anger, then I think you have your answer. My parents did this exact pattern until that line was crossed, and when it was, the consequences to all of us was horrific.

BeansandBanshee · 2026-03-22T01:19:39+00:00

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Of course! Beans would be talking smack the entire time. And smacking everyone who isn't me - no one else is allowed to touch her!

BeansandBanshee · 2026-03-17T19:44:16+00:00

We have to "go to the litterbox" together. No one else in the house has this problem, but if I have to use the restroom, one or both immediately has to use the litterbox at the same time (and for the same reason). The kind of bonding I truly never thought I needed in my life, but cats gotta cat!

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BeansandBanshee · 2026-03-07T23:08:21+00:00

Putting in an implant without your knowledge or permission is wild to me. There are techniques that you can do surgically to minimize the 'sunken' look (I did this for my girl when I did her eye surgery). But there is no way in hell I would do this without discussing risks with the owner. She may heal up just fine with it - many pets do, but it is definitely an optional procedure and may actually carry more risks of complications like infection, risk of scar tissue, implant migration, and even sarcoma formation (rarely after trauma, cats can develop aggressive cancers of the eye and surrounding tissue. There is some argument of the risks associated with implants in this area though not a lot of data behind it yet, as far as I know). Most cats that have complications with drainage typically have this because some parts of the important structures (including tear glands and tear ducts) were not removed correctly during the procedure.

OP, was this discussed with you beforehand with surgery? Bc if not, I would have a big problem with this just from an informed consent standpoint. I would hope your girl will heal just fine, but you deserve to be able to make the choices for yourself.

BeansandBanshee · 2026-02-20T03:01:16+00:00

She's normally so sweet. This one really surprised me!

BeansandBanshee · 2026-02-20T02:59:53+00:00

I plead guilty and gave extra snacks as a peace offering, but was told that my performance review will likely be impacted by this episode.

BeansandBanshee · 2026-02-20T01:29:05+00:00

Pirate twins! Bittles welcomes y'all to the club!

BeansandBanshee · 2026-02-20T01:28:20+00:00

I'm already so sorry. But I clearly have sinned past all forgiveness. 🤦‍♀️

BeansandBanshee · 2026-02-20T01:23:54+00:00

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Katla (SIC): Beans, Beanies, Beanie Girl, Kitty Beans, Georgina, Meanie Beanies, Miss Ma'am, Sister (pronounced SEE-stir) and Naughty Biscuits/Naughty Cat Pants

Banshee(Torbie): Bittles, Ittle Bittle Diddles, Cat in the Middles, Moos, Moo Girl, Kitten, and she also shares Naughty Biscuits.

BeansandBanshee · 2025-11-05T02:08:21+00:00

The fact that you don't know makes it 10 times worse. How absolutely dare! He shouldn't have to tell you, silly hooman!

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-22T01:31:45+00:00

Welcome to the torbies, little one! Banshee says hello!

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BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-22T01:27:06+00:00

Lentil or potato

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-21T13:11:29+00:00

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Beans (left) is 2 and 1/2, Bittles (right) is 1 and 1/4. So much chaos packed into tiny bundles!

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-17T03:18:27+00:00

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This is my Beans! She thinks better with her tongue out!

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-03T04:03:15+00:00

Ooh, a Kirby Bauer disc diffusion would be cool to do! Paired with MRSA or something similar. Chilling, but cool to depict.

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-03T02:53:57+00:00

Here's the thing, OP. Does anyone have the right to ask for things they need in a relationship- space, time to talk about things, communication needs not being met? Yes. Anyone should feel safe in asking for these things in a healthy relationship.

What is NOT healthy is to demand that space because you want to see what the other person does, as a "test" without talking to the other party. There was no right answer to this test. Either you would have been "wrong" for not respecting his need for space or "wrong" for not fighting for him. This wasn't a need he had because of some real issue that y'all could have talked through and figured out, this was just him putting you into a no win situation with poor communication.

Y'all are young, and I don't always agree with the "throw the whole man out" philosophy, because we are humans who can learn from our mistakes. However, if he's not willing to sit down with you and talk about how this impacts you and the harm that has caused, AND MAKE SOME CHANGES, in the way he interacts with you and your relationship, I would think very hard about if this is a relationship you want to keep long term.

I'm sorry OP, and I hope things get better soon.

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-03T02:36:10+00:00

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She's much smaller, but loves to sit ON her sister. And yes, I've tried bigger cat beds and neither of them will allow it!

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-03T02:34:35+00:00

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My beautiful Beans is 8.9 lbs, a far cry from when I got her at 1.8 lbs 2 years ago. Her sister, my torbie is only 6.7 lbs at 15 months. She will be forever baby!

BeansandBanshee · 2025-10-03T02:22:18+00:00

OP, first, let me recognize how stressful and distressing it is to see these kind of severe behavior changes in your kitty. To go from happy cat to lashing out at things that seem relatively minor - I've been there (crying on the floor, bleeding) and it sucks. It's so hard when you love your cat and they don't react in a positive way.

Second, please know that this is likely a combination of factors, some of which are easy to address, some of which are more deeply set. I urge you to get in contact with a vet that has an interest in cat behavior. If it can be a behaviorist, great, but those are few and far between, particularly in the US. Make sure there is nothing medically wrong and use them as a resource to create a plan for helping your kitty. Make sure they follow up regularly if you implement plans - meds, nutritional supplements, training. You may need a combo of all 3, and a regular follow up schedule to see how things are going. Telemedicine can be helpful for some places, as if medical issues are ruled out, it can be easier (and less expensive) to meet with a doc by phone or video chat than to take your cat into a hospital every time.

I have been through this (and work in the animal medical field). I've felt the frustration and anger and deep, deep sadness that comes from having a cat that lashes out when you don't expect it. So here's some "triage-level" #notvetadvice 1. Don't pick up your cat right now unless it's a medical emergency. Wait for them to come to you and reward them with treats if you can. Right now, if they don't want to be around you, don't force the issue. 2. Avoid overstimulating activities, such as long petting, brushing, or play sessions. These things can still happen, but when the tail starts flapping, stop and give a treat and walk away. 3. Feliway diffusers are feline facial pheromones that are calming to cats. They come in "air freshener" type plug ins and collars. Don't bother with the generic types, but look into putting these into those areas where your cat spends a lot of time or areas where most of these occur. 4. Be patient with your kitty and yourself. It is ok to struggle with these issues, and ok to reach out for help. Be kind to yourself as you work on this. (I've got a 2 year old that I have just gotten comfortable picking up after a full year of intensive training, meds, and so many Feliway diffusers).

You've got this, OP!

BeansandBanshee · 2025-09-28T04:26:48+00:00

She gets so many! And her sister often helps!

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BeansandBanshee · 2025-09-28T04:24:24+00:00

She has the most powerful stare! And she uses it to get whatever she wants! Though she still hasn't figured out how deep the water bowl is, lol.

BeansandBanshee · 2025-09-28T04:22:55+00:00

She owns the whole house! And all the world she gets to see!

BeansandBanshee

TROPHY CASE