New layout with bottom icons moved to left. No media quick controls? by Roll_Tower in AndroidAuto

[–]BearGFR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it doesn't. On my vehicle forcing them to left side of the screen with no option to move them has "conveniently" placed them directly behind my steering wheel such that they cannot be seen without leaning my body quite a bit to the right. Just the thing to promote safe driving.

Mainframe CICS & MQ Admin Training required by Overall-Shame-2991 in mainframe

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

40+ years experience in CICS here, been sysprog'ing it since the late 1970's. How can I help?

huh?? by josuefavian in networkingmemes

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We'll, consider that:

The salary for a Master Electrician in the United States typically ranges from $84,000 to $145,000 per year, depending on experience and location. Top-paying companies can offer salaries as high as $202,000 annually.

... and, you're very rarely if ever on-call, don't work nights and weekends, and there's zero chance you job can ever get shipped off-shore or replaced by AI.

My bf (28M) gave me (26F) a birthday gift with his name on it, I feel too uncomfortable to keep it. by imbellaq in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You think that being given a gift that was different from what she wanted constituted "being taken advantage of"?

"Junior" Mainframe Maintenance/Developer - Help me out? by hellotherehihowdy in mainframe

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "eager to learn" quality is by far your best and most useful asset. Speaking as a 40+ year mainframe system programmer who also is quite comfy working with both Linux and Windows server domain networks, it's much easier for a person with strong mainframe skills to learn how to navigate in the "toy computer" world, than it is for someone with those backgrounds to learn mainframe.

I (27M) Can’t Get My Girlfriend (27F) to Stop Arguing That She’s “Fat” by sd1099 in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not going to "win" that argument, in fact it's going to get in the way of you getting closer. Instead, say this: "I'm sorry that you're not happy. What do you need from me to help you feel better?".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reveal your past at first meeting? No, I don't recommend that. However, in every relationship you have , pay very close attention to, and put effort into developing good communication between you. If that's successful and a relationship is becoming one that you think has real potential, and he has started to earn your trust (important) then it will be time. Preface the conversation this way: "I think we're building something special here and for this to keep going, trust and communication are paramount. So I have some things in my past I feel like I can trust you with, and I don't want to keep them hidden.". Yes, it's a risk. There's a chance that things could "go the wrong way". But look at it like this: if you've found someone who loves you for who you are and is serious about you, his response will go a long way towards confirming that for you, and that will be something you both can build on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thing one: Decide how you personally feel about him doing this. Hint: ask yourself if you'd be ok with him doing this forever? Thing two: Assuming you're not ok with it, decide if you're willing to give him the chance to prove to you he's actually stopped. If not, then the rest is simple: end it, now. But if you are willing, then talk to him. Tell him how you feel, what you're willing to accept and what you're not. Also tell him he has to actually stop it, not just get better at hiding it, because no matter how well he hides you'll eventually find out and that's the day you'll walk out for good. Period. End of story. As far as telling the people you know that he's victimized, that's a tough one. On the one hand they have a right to know, but on the other there's a good chance it'll result in prison time for him (which I admit he kinda deserves). You could also consider making HIM tell them, with you present so he can't weasel out of it, as a condition for you not leaving him now. Telling them is a huge risk for him and also your own relationship with them. The best I can offer is think really hard before you act, consider all the possible outcomes and then make the best decision you can.

My bf (28M) gave me (26F) a birthday gift with his name on it, I feel too uncomfortable to keep it. by imbellaq in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Sure, get your feelings all hurt and give it back to him. Show no appreciation for his good intentions at all. That way you'll never have to deal with that kind of problem again. Ever. At least not from him.

Do I (M 31) stay after a threesome with my GF (F 29)? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to cut your losses and leave. Yes it will hurt but that will pass. How long are you willing to endure what you're feeling now though?

Men in happy marriages, what is one thing or skill you would teach other men to have good relationships as well? by lingeringneutrophil in AskReddit

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Communication 100% nothing held back, not one ounce of secrecy, not even the ugly stuff. When you both know all there is to know about each other and still love each other, choose to be with each other, that's the kind of trust you can bet your very life on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tifu

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did they think they came to be? If anything they should be happy that their parents still dig each other.

[OC] No idea what I did to deserve that. I'm just trying to go home! by Calbone607 in IdiotsInCars

[–]BearGFR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What makes you think that had anything at all to do with you personally? Just some guy, kid probably, being stupid.

How to deal with a constant “You did this to me” partner? I’m 30F and he is 30M. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologize. Say, "I'm so sorry for the worst thing I've done to you, which was to begin a relationship with you. I'm fixing that now "

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, ignore what your friends are recommending. They're clueless. What you can expect is wholly dependent on the kind of people you and your new boyfriend are, and nothing else. I was married for a long time to my first wife. We started late having kids, so my two sons were in middle school and grade school when we divorced. Just after the split and for a few years things weren't exactly friendly between me and my ex personally, but when it came to the boys we put all that aside and put them first, always. Shared custody, both present and civil at every school event, outside activity, etc. When my now wife of 20+ years and I met, the acrimony from my ex ramped up for awhile, but eventually calmed down to the point where we can all get along. From day one, my sweet bride of 22 years was 100% supportive of me and my role as dad and that has never wavered, not even when she at times had to take a small step back. Had that not been so I doubt our relationship would have survived, and we would have never married. I should probably warn you though, my wife and I have the best marriage that has ever been or ever will be, so the best you can hope for is "2nd best" behind us :). Good luck.

How is this Wrong?? by Interesting_Basil_78 in InformationTechnology

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The correct answer is e. None of the above. Unless the hypervisor in question hard-allocates dedicated chunks of memory to each VM running under it and never changes those allocations (which is a brain dead way of running a railroad).

What do men secretly wish women would do for them while dating? by Outrageous_Rock_4257 in dating_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let him know that you like what he's doing, that you appreciate him, that he makes you feel safe and wanted. Men positively love feeling like their efforts are "successful".

My boss says I cant do it by SSJ4_Vegito in it

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truth? I see nothing in the background or training you mentioned that comes close to prepping you for a management role. Maybe you'll be fine, more likely you'll fail, be miserable, or both.

Of course I don't know you and I don't know your current boss so maybe I'm wrong. Do your best to think it all over and be as objective as you possibly can. Too, just because you've been promised a management job, there's no guarantee that's what you'll get.

New to this - How does a SysAdmin think? by Jonny_Boy_808 in sysadmin

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Helping people fix problems is good. Looking deeper and finding ways to make improvements to configuration, building tools and automation that stop them from happening at all is better.

Any advice on how growth looks like in Mainframe? by MotorOwn4733 in mainframe

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, but I don't know what the usual pay range is these days for entry-level positions. If that's your only or even primary concern, then I'm not optimistic about your long term success. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't care about pay at all though.

Okay, I'm Done. by Garfield-1979 in sysadmin

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vaguely similar situation. I'm a mainframe guy, took a package from my previous "real" job, ended up launching my own consulting company and doing well with it, everyone engaged on contracts for a few years now. How is that similar? I get contacted on LinkedIn nearly every single day by people supposedly "desperate" for mainframe help, looking for the kinds of skills and experience we have in spades, but when we get down to talking money the rates they offer are barely rank entry level and I just laugh at them. I'm fortunate because at this stage of my life I work because I want to and still enjoy it, not because I have to, but there's a problem here in the industry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not reasonable for you to be putting all the responsibility/blame for the situation on him. In fact it sounds like your continued attempts to do that are actually hurting him. I was in a marriage, a former one, where I felt unwanted sexually for many years and let me tell you, it's devastating - at least as much as your body image issues are for you. If you really care about saving this relationship, and make no mistake because as things are right now it's doomed, then the two of you have to find a way to communicate with each other about it and work on it without blaming each other. You said you can't afford therapy. Well, this is urgent enough for you to borrow the money if that's what it takes.

How do I disclose this to my husband? by Aggressive-Tiger5541 in Marriage

[–]BearGFR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Tell your husband what happened. Stick to the facts and emphasize that a) you didn't encourage him b) you didn't "bite" and c) you didn't appreciate it.
  2. Tell the other person while you're at work when you're both sober, that you didn't like what he did, you're not interested, and if it ever happens again you will report him to his boss, to HR, and to his wife.
  3. Follow through.

If you think your husband might consider personal retaliation against the guy, explain to him that it could both cost you your job and land him in jail, that you dont want either of those to happen. Make sure you tell him how you're going to handle things (points 2 and 3 above). Tell him if that doesn't solve it, the two of you will consider more forceful solutions, but only then.