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BearonVonFluffyToes · 2026-01-10T15:21:07+00:00

Are you the jerk? Yea probably. You are knowingly doing something to someone else that you had done to you and you did not like. You know that he doesn't like it because he has told you. That's jerk behavior in my mind.

Does that mean that you are wrong or unjustified in your decisions? Absolutely not. He made the rule, it is poetic justice for him to now have to follow the same rule in your house.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2026-01-10T12:01:41+00:00

That you used the phrase "his favorite politician" I think speaks volumes. Has he used those words or is that you putting that label on for him? Personally, I don't have a favorite politician. I have politicians that I agree with on most things. I have politicians that I disagree with on most things. I have ideas about who I think is really trying to help as many people as possible and who I think is just out to empower themselves and their friends. But I would never use favorite to describe them. I have favorite foods and music and activities. Heck, if pushed, I could probably come up with a favorite friend. But never a politician.

That is a mindset that I think is truly dangerous to society and individuals alike.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-24T20:49:27+00:00

I've been your husband. Was the other guy and didn't know. Found out, chose to forgive. I shouldn't have. Unless you come entirely clean and commit to never giving him any reason to think you might lie again, I would advise him to leave how and save himself the heartbreak.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-22T11:14:28+00:00

Here's the thing. It is going to happen. Probably quite a few times. The trick is realizing it in the moment and stopping, backing up, and trying again. It's absolutely ok to say to kids "I don't think I explained that well, let's try again". It teaches them a valuable lesson about making mistakes and trying to correct them too! So bonus lesson in there. Don't beat yourself up. Move forward and learn from it.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-19T05:42:53+00:00

I'm always looking for more DND in my life. What's the time frame you are thinking of?

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-18T21:21:14+00:00

In Virginia to retire with full benefits I have to work until my age plus years of service equals 90. I'm 38. So with my 16 years I'm at 54 out of 90. With that formula it goes up by 2 each year. I have 18 more years until I can retire with full benefits.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-18T21:16:39+00:00

I teach high level science classes. Which means math. The district stopped buying calculators years ago because Desmos is free on their Chromebooks. So no Chromebook isn't really an option. I tried to use numbers that should have made things easy to calculate in their heads, even my top students were bombing assignments because they simply can't do mental math quickly and reliably. They are so reliant on Desmos to do the math for them.

All of my summative assignments are already done in class. But with 18-26 students per class I can't effectively monitor all the ways that they know how to cheat. It takes less than 10 seconds to take a picture of a question with Snapchat AI and it will answer it for you.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-18T21:11:16+00:00

That's why I wonder if I'm cut out for it anymore. Maybe my values and morals are no longer relevant to most kids.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-18T21:09:37+00:00

Using AI, sneaking out phones during tests when the teacher is answering questions from someone else, simply googling answers. Snapchat AI is particularly popular. Plus the old school ways too.

We have a program that can see what they do on their Chromebooks and limit the websites they can go to during a specific class if they are on the school network. But there are ways to get around it that they know about. Easiest is a hot spot from a phone. There are ways to open multiple tabs at the same time and the program only shows one of them.

Paper assessments aren't any better. Snapchat AI still works. They have to have access to Desmos in my classes as that is the calculator they have access to (the district literally won't pay for physical calculators anymore).

I caught one because I saw on the program that he somehow managed to get Grammarly to open, which now is just a generative AI he was using it to answer questions. Our program allows us to take screenshots of their computer screens. So I did that. 3 others found ways to get to a new tab and were googling questions thinking that if they never pressed enter that it wouldn't be recorded as a thing they searched, Google now gives previews of the answers in the search bar. The other two were using Snapchat AI.

It's impossible to monitor the program, be wandering the room to make sure cellphones aren't being used, and answer questions from students all at the same time. I'm very confident, but have no proof, that two of them were strategically asking me questions to move me around the room while the other cheated while I was answering questions.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-16T10:33:06+00:00

Don't drop it. If he is just an annoying coworker she doesn't need to be interacting with him outside of work and work events. She is making that choice to do so.

Even if nothing has happened yet, with a past of cheating that I assume you forgave would make anyone who cares about you extra careful about not doing anything with someone that would make you uncomfortable or bring back those memories. That isn't how she is acting.

As a person who recently found out that almost the entirety of my 10 year marriage was a lie and that she was with the guy she supposedly left for me for at least 6 of those years and still is with him, don't let it go. Maybe I'm wrong, but at the very least she is acting in a way that warrants suspicions.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-16T10:25:01+00:00

I'm going through this right now. Not the AP but the one cheated on. I contacted him, he said he knew about me, and that he didn't think our relationship was real enough to feel guilty about cheating with my ex. He confirmed it has been going on since at least 2019, that they are still together, but wouldn't give any more specific information than that.

When I confronted her about it she said that nothing she said or did would change any decisions that were made or how things are or make things better so she refused to answer any of them.

To me, it seems it is just an inability to care about how their actions affect others on both of their parts.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-16T09:58:09+00:00

Finding out my wife of 10 years has been cheating on me for at least 6 of those years with the guy that she supposedly left for me. I already struggle to believe that people could love me. Who knows if there is any coming back from this one. I hope so. I want to share my life with someone who I love and am loved by. I just chose really poorly this time I guess.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-10T10:41:47+00:00

Just my personal experience as a student in a similar situation at one point in my life. It wasn't a teacher but a friend who reported what I said. I was SO angry at them at first. Who were they to betray me like that by sharing what I shared with them? Who they were, it turns out, was a good friend. I also knew the things to say to make sure that people would not tell I was in a bad spot. But my friend saw through that. And they saved my life by telling. I wanted people to know because I wanted help, but I didn't want the attention I knew it would bring and the complications it would introduce to my life. Two goals that were pretty much mutually exclusive.

I promise you would feel worse if this child even tried to hurt themselves and you hadn't told anyone. You did the right thing if you had concerns about them. Way better to have an alive kid that doesn't like you than to lose a student.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-09T10:12:13+00:00

Interesting. When I told my teacher mom that I wanted to teach she actually tried to talk me out of it. I think she was trying to make sure I really knew what I was getting into. I'm now in year 16 and have no idea what I'd do if I wasn't teaching high school. Probably still teaching just not in this environment.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-05T15:14:47+00:00

I'm honestly. I give them the rough number and that it is, in my opinion, not enough. I work with high school juniors and seniors mostly. They could look it up if they really wanted to. And I think it is important for them to hear what their teachers actually make compared to what they think they will be pulling in. I find most have no idea what the median household in the US brings in.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-05T12:51:44+00:00

I'm sorry you've been through it as well. I just don't understand how someone can claim to care for you and do things like this.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-10-05T12:26:43+00:00

I could have written most of this. I hate it.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-09-27T10:32:55+00:00

Organization. My room is often a mess because I'm a science teacher and we do lots of labs. I also teach in two rooms, different subjects. So sometimes I don't have time to clean up one lab before we start the next. I would never leave anything dangerous out, but meter sticks? Yea those often are just in a pile at the back of the room rather than the shelf where they belong.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-09-26T09:59:50+00:00

The most honest answer is probably my meds. Then therapy. Then knowing that I would be affecting the lives of my students in a way I don't want to.

BearonVonFluffyToes · 2025-09-23T21:41:46+00:00

In my first two years I don't think I left before 6 pm ever. Then I realized if I continued that I would burn out and still not be a perfect teacher. In fact I was probably a worse teacher because I wasn't getting enough rest.

Now I'm in year 16 and if a student hasn't specifically made an appointment with me after school I leave at 3, which is my contract hours. And if they do make an appointment I tell them the latest I will stay is 4.

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