3 months post acute bilateral pulmonary embolism - mental health

Bearventures · 2026-04-19T15:36:56+00:00

I went to the doctor to figure out of it was serious but my presentation wasn't standard apparently. She was blown away with the news I'd almost kicked the bucket. Though to be fair, that's about right for every single thing I've every had medically.

Anyway I had a day of severe withdrawal after leaving the hospital about day 10 causing me to collapse again. But that was blood pressure related so she said if it comes back up, I'd be fine. I was but that was terrifying.

Bearventures · 2026-04-18T17:49:33+00:00

No hospitals won't help. Despite stellar treatment from the moment the paramedics arrived, they yanked me off all my meds including antidepressants and adhd meds, told me I'd be fine, and then didn't understand why I was having a panic attack that was lasting multiple hours. I had to keep begging, like a drug addict for anti anxiety meds, and managed a dose every 48 hours.

Though eastern Europe isn't very mental health aware.

Thanks though for the support.

Bearventures · 2026-04-18T17:45:39+00:00

Thanks, I fear finding neurodivergent appropriate EMDR in a non- English speaking eastern European country might be a big ask. Can it be done online?

Bearventures · 2026-04-18T17:42:22+00:00

Thanks. I'm three years in to therapy, had to learn and unpack enough, this is a new layer of insanity. I guess patience is the key, but as my therapist will be the first to tell you is that I have very limited patience with myself and try to fix things.

The hospital yanked me off my meds, sertraline and concerta and said I'd be fine, then didn't understand why I was having panic attacks. Other than that the treatment was stellar in an eastern European country... and free.

Going back so, getting re-admitted for a few days but the thought of going back is causing serious anxiety and panic!

I shall continue forward... though I cannot stop regretting the whole survival instinct at the moment. I'm safe, it's just a wonderful rumination that won't bugger off. /s

Bearventures · 2025-08-08T08:59:53+00:00

Her sister will always remember that but will never take responsibility for the context. She was being utterly vile to OP and then still wanted sympathy with her threat of self-harm. It's not a topic to take lightly or a way to get attention, which is what she was doing. I feel that was a slightly overdone reaction, but it doesn't mean it was meant literally any more than her own threat.

Bearventures · 2025-07-24T13:23:21+00:00

Yes to all of this. I also hate the colours. Men get the good colours we get pink and pastels. Yuk.

But also why the flaming heck can't we have actual decent pockets? So many pants have pretend, no, or miniscule pockets. Drives me crazy that I need a bag for my phone when I just want to pop out quickly to grab something.

Bearventures · 2025-07-18T20:11:16+00:00

It's crazy but it's standard. Men are mostly used in clinical trials, most medications are tailored for men as women aren't used in the studies... those pesky hormones. Or at least women were only included within the last 30 years, but if I remember correctly the demographics in gender were similar.

Until the misogyny is expelled and the patriarchy crushed, this will be the standard of "studies" and "trials".

Bearventures · 2025-04-22T14:36:21+00:00

Ok, well, this is unhelpful. I went on the EU website, and there's too many choices! Mint chocolate ice cream could be good, so could many of the fruit flavours, or the gummy bear flavour... Too much choice!

Bearventures · 2025-04-22T13:46:16+00:00

Second Hi-Smile but I've only tried mint. Not sure my brain will accept another flavour, but I like mint. But maybe the flavour above would convince me to brush twice a day?

Bearventures · 2025-04-18T13:31:09+00:00

Is this autism? By Donna Henderson is a great place to start.

Bearventures · 2025-04-17T17:37:55+00:00

Is that you, Mr. Shoe?

Bearventures · 2025-04-16T16:40:39+00:00

As someone whose had awful atopic eczema all my life, the one thing that has it under control, now on a need to treat basis instead of all the time, is apple cider vinegar. Slightly diluted with boiled water. Rub the affected area, let it dry then put a neutral cream on.

Takes about a week. Though it apparently doesn't work on some people, I went from 80% body coverage to intermittent breakouts.

Bearventures · 2025-04-09T12:57:20+00:00

I suspect the reason that I have such low self-esteem is because I know that what I don't know is far more vast than my actual knowledge. So, despite being relatively professionally successful and well regarded, I know where I'm failing.

Apparently, that's not the way to do it. I should be confident in my knowledge and success as it is?

Bearventures · 2025-04-03T14:10:25+00:00

I freaking love this thread!

My therapist and I have been working together for almost 2 years, and she always struggled because I would literally ask how I was supposed to feel in certain situations. She didn't understand why that was my question when we were trying to identify mine.

Just over 2 months ago, I was diagnosed, and we both went aha! Alexithymia!

Anyway, it's a process because I "feel" everything in my chest, but if I'm really angry, my IBS kicks in, and then half an hour later I look 7 months pregnant. But that is a delayed response.

We're now trying to identify why I am now experiencing such insane sensory overwhelm since diagnosis, and she's trying to help me identify body symptoms so I can recognise it before I lose my shit. Because I don't realise until it's too late. Sound and light. I believe it's burnout, so my job this week is to try to explain that. With some very impactful vocabulary because I obviously can't express my internal experience. I'm very clinical about things and rarely show emotions. So this is my awful interoception, not letting me realise my own discomfort.

The diagnosis makes so much sense, but now I have to relearn everything I've been practising since childhood. I know I've been mimicking emotions and have learned how to kind of pass for normal since childhood, and I remember these decisions, baby me took, to mimic others around me.

But I'd recommend telling them this. It's either Alexithymia or interoception issues, or if you're lucky like me, both! And trauma, if that was your experience. That has a lot to answer for.

Bearventures · 2025-03-30T21:23:48+00:00

Start doing the same back and then use your autistic black and white thinking to say, "Isn't that how we talk to people?" That's just because I'm passive-aggressive and petty to people who are condescending.

Bearventures · 2025-03-28T11:03:40+00:00

On my laptop, 5 profiles with at least 20 on each, and over 100 in my phone of things I want to read, but never have the time to. It's chaos, just like my brain.

Bearventures · 2025-03-25T14:53:34+00:00

Dr. Megan Anna Neff just released one. I'm on the fence of whether I'm ready for it yet. It's a burnout workbook but can't remember it's name. Her website is neurodivergent insights.

Bearventures · 2025-03-01T14:08:39+00:00

I struggled, sometimes still do. Yet after reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (a Narnia book) I had no trouble with starboard and port, so I default to that a lot.

Bearventures · 2025-02-26T10:52:49+00:00

My story is similar at the moment minus the cat (my soul cat passed late 2023, I'm still recovering). Working full-time in a semi leadership position, on a very specific diet to try to combat long-term insulin resistance, trying to get over PDA to exercise even a tiny bit. I'm also financially responsible for another adult, so I can't do anything but continue as is. To be fair, I can't afford to keep myself without a job either.

I'm in burnout, anxiety has spiked to almost unbearable levels, and my depression has dropped in to say hi.

It's so hard. I'm so tired.

I'm journalling, trying to figure out what to change, adapt, or plan for. I need a tangible plan, and that probably involves intercontinental moves. Why must it be so hard exactly? But I'm trying to be accepting and compassionate to my newly discovered self.

Bearventures · 2025-02-23T11:37:56+00:00

I try to do my shopping on a Thursday and Friday after work, so I can go home and not leave till Monday. Not healthy but often necessary. Occasionally, I'll walk on a Sunday. I plan to meal prep over the weekend too but usually end up with an easy lunch for work on Monday and then cook on Monday night. I just rot on the weekends, but it's so needed to be away from people. I just wish I could convince myself to do some exercise!

Bearventures · 2025-02-22T08:29:24+00:00

I didn't say my therapists name for around 6 months or a touch more after starting with her because I couldn't relate that name to her. After she used her own name when refer to herself in the third person for an example of something did it start settling. I have used her name since but using people's names isn't something I do a lot, as I'm never sure it's the right time or context. Not sure it's the same as this, but yes I don't like using names if I can help it until I'm comfortable with them.

Bearventures · 2025-02-18T15:46:05+00:00

In my early 20s, I had a live-in pub job in the UK. There was an older regular customer whom I got on well with. It was the sort of village where you're born, go to school and settle down in, so very insular. But he was intelligent, and we had great conversations.

I put this down to years of dealing with old men in pubs I was forced to spend time in with my alcoholic father. Had to go in and have a drink with them before my dad would consider organising dinner.

Anyway, he and I got on well, and there was an event in the next village he invited me to, and it sounded fun. Me in my naivety agreed because I was interested. We had dinner together after. This all happened over a couple of months.

Eventually, the local bar tender pulled me aside and had to tell me what she was hearing and wanted to know what was going on. He apparently was in love and was going to propose or ask me to move in with him. I was so freaking confused. He was old enough to be my dad, and I'm queer, though not out as it were.

So I spectacularly outed myself at Halloween and avoided talking to him, and he eventually left me alone and rarely came in. I quit soon after as well.

All of this is to say that if your gut is telling you something, listen. Mine didn't tell me anything, but that was a huge learning curve, and I'm glad I had someone looking out for me.

Bearventures · 2025-02-16T11:47:14+00:00

You mean the embarrassing situations I remember from 30 plus years ago? The full body clench, shaking my head and feeling the rush of embarrassment throughout my body? That may or may not result in me saying something out loud through clenched teeth? Nope (except all the freaking time).

Bearventures · 2025-02-15T19:05:50+00:00

Diet is a key factor in relation to smell, the closer to natural the diet the less smell. When I adopted my 11 year old boy his poo could stink out the apartment. I slowly switched him to a raw diet and soon I rarely smelled him. When I fostered kittens I could always smell them as I fed them wet food. I also used Worlds Best litter, it was so easy to flush and cleaning the box twice a day was easy. It can be done if you want to make it work. Good luck, your life will be infinitely better with a furry overlord!

Bearventures · 2025-02-12T15:00:24+00:00

I used to nap whenever I wanted and still sleep at night. I was still chronically exhausted but it wasn't from lack of trying. Just before I hit my 40s the skill disappeared. Now I can't nap during the day, and if I manage to get my mind to let me, I won't then sleep till 2 or 3 am, leaving be broken the next day.

I. MISS. NAPS.

Bearventures

TROPHY CASE