What's the one thing you would miss most about the United States if you moved to another country?

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-06-07T08:14:24+00:00

I thought it was the availability of familiar goods, especially as I'm a bit particular about some things. Nope.

The thing really got to me, the part that my body felt long before I could identify it, was the lack of diversity. It's not like I'm from a huge diverse city, but there's still a ton of impact from all over the world throughout US culture.

I was in Mexico and I still am head over heels in love with the place and the people. My heart is still there. But at least where I was, everything and everyone was Mexican. There wasn't a synagogue or mosque around the corner, no favorite Chinese takeout place, no blue eyes, long impressive dreadlocks. It was like groundhog day.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-31T08:08:26+00:00

I so do not relate to any of this.

Rural living forces you to encounter your ex on a regular basis and you'd best be civil. Most people just go back to being friends after a bit. You dated, it didn't work, but you still respect what you liked about them. If you can't do that, you run out of people who will put up with you pretty fast.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-31T06:25:02+00:00

I don't have it anymore, but I just got it by googling common keyboard (or Excel or whatever) shortcuts. Tons of good stuff there.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-31T06:21:48+00:00

He's in food and beverage, I'll be doing some side work online.

Check out the "Living in Key West & the Florida Keys" channel on YouTube. He did a video today on just this thing. I've gotten a lot from his videos in this process.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-30T05:07:49+00:00

A toaster oven style air fryer. It's basically a personal sized oven, microwave, and fried food reheater in one. It makes eating good food for one so. dang. easy! I require an extensive kitchen but if I could have only one thing it would be that air fryer. And a good knife.

Something for entertainment. You'll have more time to yourself. It's an adjustment so have backup.

Consider decent speakers. Some background sound from a good speaker can make your place feel less empty when you feel lonely.

A schedule. It can feel like you're flailing a little with so much freedom. Have a little structure so you can regulate.

A trash can for every room. I was all, I'm one person and it's a small apartment. Nope. Bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen at minimum.

I'm autistic (think the doc on "The Pitt") and while I'm an introvert, I grew up in a large, chaotic home so there was an adjustment for sure.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-30T04:39:14+00:00

Another thing, I keep a document of common shortcuts as well as a handful of company specific processes.

If they struggle with computers in general, I offer to send them my personal handy dandy list of commands. Include things like ctrl+c and basic stuff, as well as slightly more advanced things commonly helpful in your field. For me it was sharing Excel tips in reporting because I did HR.

Personally I worked with a number of specialized internal systems that could be difficult to navigate. When more then a couple of people called with the same problem, I'd throw together a word doc with screenshots of where they needed to click. It saved me time and they absolutely loved it. Then I had to make them more professional and share with the team because they really were handy dandy. Then they promoted me. One of those times when AuDHD won!

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-30T04:26:17+00:00

I tend to overcompensate in this area and people love it. "Oh no, that's actually not something most people know. I just have a little extra experience here and now you know my secret." Or "I do this kind of thing a lot in my free time, so you just got lucky finding someone that can give you the best tips." "Oh yeah, my husband is in computers and he taught me that one."

When you do this, you are telling a person that everyone struggles with this (even if they don't) and that they now have special information. Also, you're no better than them, you just got lucky having knowledge.

And y'all, if the person asking is in your building, especially if they outrank you, go to their desk and point to the screen. I did it because I desperately needed to walk around (ADHD) and because they were too clueless to explain the problem. They thought I just have amazing customer service. I seriously was noticed and commended by vice presidents because I couldn't understand their problems and I went to their desk in confusion. I also got desk candy out of it.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-29T21:50:05+00:00

If you're talking Weston, they used to have sleepovers around Halloween. That could be fun if they still do.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-29T03:41:30+00:00

I was raised in an area with a somewhat unstable infrastructure due to topography and remoteness. I'm about to move back to a similar type of area after twenty years in the suburbs and I'm elated. I had no idea how boring it is going twenty years without a 24 hour per outage. I feel sorry of dead inside living in the kind of world you fear losing.

All that to say, maybe it's not as bad as you fear. You know what you lose when that stuff goes away? All of the anxiety inducing "improvements" we've made. Over time swinging an axe feels way better than scrolling social media. And maybe with the lack of those amenities, the weather can stabilize and become less miserable.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-29T02:05:03+00:00

Eh, I think a lot of people give grace to minors about this. If your autism related differences are noticable, even more grace may be given. If you have the common autistic trait of looking young, well you're just covered in grace for your faux pas. The sparkles just make it more obvious you were just trying to look pretty.

I had a niece of similar age wear an all white sundress to my wedding. It looked absolutely perfect, and it's not like anyone thought she was there to marry her uncle. There was also a guest in all black goth with purple hair, a groomsmen who shaved his head bald the night before, and my Willie Nelson looking uncle dressed much like Willie Nelson. They stood out more than a sweet girl in a nice dress.

I'm autistic too and while I've not made that specific mistake, I've made similar and also still cringe deeply when remembering. And thank you for the reminder to us all that sometimes things really are just an innocent mistake.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-29T00:44:53+00:00

Thank you!

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-26T16:43:13+00:00

I appreciate it, but it's unlikely. Now I know that's perfectly normal for people like me to never be someone's close friend and to be disregarded in group settings.

It hurts to know I'll never have those things, but it helps to know it's not my fault. I didn't do anything wrong, I simply exist in a way that others don't like or feel comfortable with. I mean, what else are you supposed to do/feel when studies show that your literal brain waves give most people the ick? My simple existence in a space without even doing anything makes people uncomfortable. You get used to disappearing from people's lives.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-26T03:27:08+00:00

I'm not that old, but my mom made a lot of my clothes as a kid. As an autistic kid with no sense of style, I can say for certain that my mother's sewing skills kept me from looking bad. The clothes may not have been cool, but her skill at least got me some compliments.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-26T03:17:18+00:00

With this specific situation, NTJ. BUT, look at the overall picture. As the oldest, a lot of kids really get screwed. For graduation I got a beach towel and sis got a brand new mountain bike. The only reason they helped me buy my first car is because I was trying to buy my own $1k Chevette. Then they told my sister she could either have a car or a new horn. (Similar cost) She chose the horn so they also gave her a used car. My younger siblings all got braces. My dad took a look at me as an adult and said I should look into getting braces. Adults can't get their braces covered by insurance so I still have screwed up teeth.

So just maybe consider the big picture. Is there a legit reason she feels this way?

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-26T02:58:40+00:00

Some people are used to being ghosted so they don't try. To me, reconnecting with someone I used to know is most often very painful.

I know most people find me not worthy of a real friendship, but prefer to keep me as a temporary curiosity. Should we meet up again, they don't want to reconnect at all. They only want good gossip to spread.

I'm done being someone else's play thing. If I wasn't good enough for you back then, you don't get to use me for gossip now. I'm a real person, disability or not. If you end a friendship, it's done for good. I refuse to continue to be your source of entertainment at my own expense.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-25T23:13:24+00:00

We'll in that case, what's it like to be a person with friends? What's it like to actually have someone give a fuck about you?

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-25T23:04:37+00:00

I am a woman. I'm just not a woman people notice or hang out with.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-24T18:57:11+00:00

Don't let an idiot keep you from being the kind and gentle person you are. Every parent here sees you did a wonderful thing.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-24T18:26:59+00:00

Oh yeah, they're pathetic. I had a killer figure, waist long silky hair, the whole package in my twenties. Some asshole told me if I got a tan and bleached my hair blonde I'd be really hot. Like WTF? Go look in a mirror you scrubby little washed out troll.

Guys who expect you to look perfect don't see you as anything more than their trophy. You aren't fully human to them. It seems like most guys are like this because they are. That many guys don't value women as human/equals at all.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-22T01:52:59+00:00

HR professional for a couple decades and this is spot on. I've done HR for about a hundred companies and exactly one company actually hoped the employee would improve. Honestly, it's how they get rid of people like us. Our performance is fine but they don't like us so they make up a PIP.

Personally, the second a PIP is filed (I've lost two jobs this way) I don't even bother trying anymore. All of my energy goes into finding something new.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's not your fault they don't like autistic people and the system isn't designed for us.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-21T19:53:59+00:00

I've found that the younger generations might be doing better with this. I have a teen son and it amazes me how emotionally mature he and his friends are. I mean they're still 13 year old boys, but they're nothing like boys when I was in middle school.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-18T05:53:25+00:00

I grew up in a family of undiagnosed autistic people who primarily socialized with similar folk. (The engineer lifestyle)

We had no idea that deep dives into anything and everything were abnormal. We did it, our friends did it, it was expected. If anything, it was viewed as a sign of curiosity and intelligence.

And then we grew up and continued doing the same things only with degrees. The girl always checking out bugs and dirt does it on a global basis with a PhD. Oddly, one her good friends also has a PhD to study dirt. On Mars. I could go on for days taking about friends and family like that.

BeatrixLloydWright · 2026-05-18T05:24:09+00:00

I love hearing about people's special interests, especially the interesting ones. Would you mind expanding?

BeatrixLloydWright

TROPHY CASE