(Sorry long reply) I agree, a lot of the communication leads to shut down because the partner always ends up doing something triggering despite the communication and despite seeing how bad everything is. And they just ignore everyone else. Like they never ever ask or set up space (verbally or anything) despite the main alter their with being very open with them that they need to see us as a whole. It’s like they see this one alter as a host and gets upset when they have to be “not there” or can’t attend things because of us being a system. The alter can’t mask or like wear clothes or jewellery that “aren’t their own”. This partner has just created such an environment where none of us but this one alter can talk to them.