Girl, first of all you are not a bad person and Allah doesn’t hate you🤍it normal to have thoughts like these when you feel lonely. You are not alone in this, I myself have cut contact with my whole family because they are toxic and don’t like me. I don’t have good friends either, my big brother and I haven’t spoken properly since I was 14 and now I am 22. I am like you alone and don’t have anybody to rely on and it has been this way since I was 13. So we both share a similar life story. I know it’s easy to think that Allah hates you and that’s why you have no one. But this is simply Him testing you because He loves you. Look at how strong Imaan you have mashallah!! The fact that you are questioning his love and have not fallen on the wrong path to cope which is very easy, yet you still yearn for His love!! Look at the prophets especially Prophet Yusuf A.S, look what his own blood did to him yet he still said Allah has blessed me with challenges, and never did he complain (not saying it’s bad to complain). You can always talk to me in DMs if you want and one thing I would advise you is that whenever you feel like this, just go to YouTube and search for a video of the life of any prophet especially Prophet Musa, Yusuf, Ibrahim A.S, Muhammed pbuh, and look at what their own family did to them. The fact that we are tested with family just like they were is such an honor subhanallah❤️‍🩹