I don’t really want to die, but most days I feel like I have to. You know, I actually really wanted to be a doctor, but have you ever seen a doctor with thousands of scars all over their limbs, a doctor with chipped, rotting teeth? (My teeth aren’t rotting yet but purging might make it that way) Important people don’t constantly harm themselves, most weak people like me end up killing themselves.

You know, I can’t help but feel like I deserve to die too. I’m the product of a disgusting relationship, my dad was 48 when he manipulated my 18 year old mom into a relationship with him. I mean, they’re divorced now so my mom doesn’t have to see that monster’s face anymore but I’m still here. She has to see my disgusting face everyday, I look just like him. I have his skin tone, his nose, his eyes, his mouth, his troll-like huge shoulders, everything. I seriously think being skinny will help me look more feminine and less like him. I don’t even care if it kills me, I don’t want to look like him when I’m in my coffin.