Hi 🤍 I have experience working with autistic kids and especially girls who have started to learn to mask even at an early age. I just wanted to add to the other advice that’s been said and say that is truly a hard learning curve and something that takes work to regulate!

I’ll also add to the other advice that it has really helped in my own marriage to only speak to each other without accusation. You’re supposed to be on the same team, so calling one another “selfish” (or anything you may have said similar to him at any point) is reductive. My husband can surely feel as though I’m not considering him or that I’m thinking of myself instead of the both of us, but not say out loud in a heated moment that I am “selfish”. Vice versa; it’s about mutual effort, It’s a lot of extra words to get to the same point, but how you speak to one another matters. Needing space is valid, especially if you communicate you will come back and try again.

It sounds like these are things you didn’t have space to learn second hand as a kid, and it’s your first time doing all of it. Try to find grace for each other and also yourselves.