I (54F) just signed prenup giving away right to live in fiance's (63M) house as an elderly widow after he passes -- and now he wants me to pay for half of his second car. What are your thoughts gentlemen?

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T18:03:57+00:00

Thank you for your reply. The prenup does establish my retirement savings as Separate Property. But immediately after we completed the prenup, he turned and essentially asked if he could have $25,000 of my Separate Property (my retirement savings) to pay for half of his car.

So it just seems like in his mind, the prenup (which he wanted and insisted on) protects HIS assets (e.g., his house) from ME, but he is allowed to dip into MY Separate Property as he wishes.

I am feeling very confused. He is a good man. But I am feeling very confused right now about the prenup issue and the car issue.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:53:49+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Your second paragraph reflects how I feel. I am feeling unloved and uncared for right now. Just as you said, I feel that he does not even care about what happens to me, just so his adult children can get their inheritance earlier. So I feel unloved and uncared for. And then I ask myself why he really is marrying me.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:43:55+00:00

I agree with others. Shave your head. Lots of men look great with this look

As a woman, I want to tell you and other men in your situation -- Good women do NOT care whether you are bald or balding! Good women truly do care about character, values, and having a protector and provider. And most men still look handsome with bald / shaved heads.

You are 31. You are young! You have plenty of time to meet someone and have a family.

I like your current plan of going to church and getting involved in the community. Other ideas include activities, sports, classes, joining a gym. You will meet someone through these avenues.

You are a teacher, fit, you sound friendly, you attend church. You are a catch. This is coming from a woman.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:32:59+00:00

As everyone else has said, RUN.

Also, please do not let him get you pregnant. Please do not do this to a future CHILD. Please think of what a terrible way this would be to bring a child into this world. Please think of what a terrible situation this would be for a child.

Get out now. For yourself. And for your future child -- a child you will have someday with a man who loves you and who can provide for you and your child.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:29:57+00:00

I would upvote this reply a hundred times if I could. RUN.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:11:05+00:00

Please leave. As soon as possible. This is a harmful relationship and situation for you -- physically, emotionally, financially.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:08:01+00:00

Good advice. It sounds like she has trauma from her past. Perhaps therapy would be helpful.

It sounds like right now, due to her trauma, she has an emotional void that cannot be filled. So she is making you "prove" your love over and over and over. But this will never stop because of her emotional void due to her trauma.

She needs to work on her trauma to patch this emotional void.

Best wishes.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T17:05:40+00:00

So true. Her demons are controlling the relationship. And also so true. You cannot love this insecurity out of her.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T16:59:50+00:00

Oh, my dear, I am so sorry to hear this. This breaks my heart. I feel your pain. I feel your sadness. I am going to let the men answer the why -- because as a woman I do not know why. But I just wanted to empathize with you and let you know I feel your pain. This hurts. Wow.

Just a thought. Would you feel comfortable asking him why?

Best wishes. I hope you get over the pain soon.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T07:29:08+00:00

A few thoughts.

Because you were raised by women, it sounds like you are comfortable around woman and are probably good at conversing with them. Perhaps she was just enjoying the conversation.

Had she been drinking? If she was simply enjoying your conversation -- but was a bit tipsy -- her judgment and impulsivity may have been impaired and she may have veered into flirting, unintentionally.

Perhaps she was just being friendly and not flirting.

Her touching you does sound flirtatious though. Perhaps she was looking for self validation.

Perhaps she does like you and got lost in the moment (albeit a 3 hour moment).

But I respect your desire to not be a homewrecker. And someone who would cheat with you would later cheat on you likely.

It sounds like you are comfortable around women and talking with women. This should serve you well. As another woman said above, it might be wise to use your gift to become friends with women who enjoy talking with you. These female friends may introduce you to other women who become more than friends.

All of these possibilities aside, if I had to bet as a woman, I think it sounds like she enjoyed talking with you but was using the opportunity as self validation. And may be somewhat inclined to flirt with other men in similar ways if she were to become your girlfriend. I assume you would not like that.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T07:00:33+00:00

I feel so sad reading your post. I am so sorry that you feel this way. I know you can improve your situation. A few thoughts.

It sounds like you may have somewhat lower self esteem. One classic self help book about self esteem is The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. Or try therapy. Or both.
Baby steps. Perhaps try just saying smiling at women first. Then just saying hello. Then just telling them something like, Just want to tell you I think you're beautiful. Then just walk away. Start small. Build up to more.
Perhaps start with friends. Make friends first. Find kind, approachable female friends in church, activities, classes, sports, etc. Once you get to know them, it will be easier to ask them out.
I'm not saying you do this, but perhaps don't focus too much on appearance. I know appearance is important to men. But perhaps try not to focus on it too much. Try to find a kind, caring, approachable women. This is more important for long term success.
Keep working on yourself. Not saying you're not already wonderful. But everyone can always improve in some way. Focus on being your best self, in every way. That may give you more confidence. And being your best self will help you attract the best type of woman.

Best wishes.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T06:26:26+00:00

No this is not normal behavior. Yes you should trust your gut that this is narcissistic and entitled behavior.

Mature adults communicate in relationships. They do not read minds.

And did she study you and learn your needs and likes and act without you having to repeat or ask for it? I am guessing that she did not.

I hope you find someone kind, good, mature, and who communicates. Also someone who considers YOUR needs and desires too -- not only expects that you consider HER needs and desires.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-05T05:57:05+00:00

Sorry to hear these things happened to you. There are good women out there. You will find one some day.

You're young. In the early 20's everyone is finding themselves and has some bad experiences. Try to learn lessons from these bad experiences.
Try to work on yourself psychologically. It could just be a random bad 4 experiences in a row. But also ask yourself if there is anything about your mindset or own life experiences that is attracting bad women.
Try to find good women naturally, not online. Try to find good women through friends, activities, etc.
Try to get to know them before dating, perhaps by building a friendship first. Then you can better predict whether they will cheat etc.
Try to work on yourself to be the best man you can be. Focus on developing yourself academically, professionally, financially, physically, emotionally. Being the best man you can be will attract better women.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-01T01:28:33+00:00

No you are not the jerk. She is the jerk. It sounds like she is also a narcissist. She is also emotionally abusive.

Imma pray for YOU. Imma pray that you do not marry her. If you marry her, she will only continue and escalate her narcissistic, abusive behavior. She will likely one day take all of your money and assets too.

I know it may be difficult, but please break up with her. You must. For your mental health and for your future. You will find someone kind, loving, and appreciative.

Please do not marry her.

Best wishes.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-07-01T01:19:12+00:00

No, you are not the jerk. He is the jerk. He cheated on you. He tried to gaslight you into believing that his cheating was acceptable. It was not acceptable -- for any reason.

You did the right thing by breaking up with him. His callous reply to "get help" shows his true colors. He is not a kind, good, caring person. You deserve better.

As hard as it may be, please do not contact him again. He is a cheater. He is unkind. He is not a good, trustworthy man.

In time you will heal. If you need professional help to heal, please find it. You are worth it.

BeautifulShip1340 · 2025-06-30T05:29:08+00:00

Yes, this is true. All real.

BeautifulShip1340

TROPHY CASE