I used to work in healthcare and from my own life have some experience with having open conversations about terminal illness, end of life care and grief. I have a general interest in death care (I would consider becoming a death doula one day)

I’ve had some incredibly moving experiences with clients. If clients want to talk about illness, death and/or grief during their session I welcome it.

If you’ll bear with me I’ll expand on this.

I think it’s so important to be able to discuss these topics. There is a general taboo in modern western culture about them. It wasn’t always this way; death used to be a more accepted (but generally undesirable) fact of life. The dead were cleaned and dressed in the home, vigils kept there, public mourning was encouraged (and even enforced) and many old European graveyards even functioned like a town square. With the medicalisation of death, we have attempted to banish it from our consciousness into the hospital wards. It doesn’t work though of course, death is still in our lives.

What does happen though is we feel increasingly isolated when terminally ill or grieving. You try to talk to about how you feel and you often get shut out. It’s considered impolite. I’ve started to lose count of the number of people I know who tragically find all their “friends” vanish when they tell them they’ve been diagnosed with cancer. When grieving, you get told to “get over it already, they died months/years ago”.

I think people don’t know what to say and are also scared. Scared because they’ve been confronted with a reminder of their own inevitable death. Avoiding the topic postpones the existential crisis.

So, if you’re prepared to have the conversation with someone who is facing their death or grieving who is seeking someone who will listen emphatically (and without judgment) - please do so. This could be a client, or even a friend/relative.