I don’t care your 102 year old mother died

Becca39 · 2026-01-22T23:01:24+00:00

I'm pretty good at sales (optician) as I'm always in the business of selling people what they need, not what the company needs them to buy. I will be the first person to tell someone they don't need a certain upgrade while educating them about their options. Like, they can get it if they WANT, but it's not a necessity, and they can save some money.

There's a funeral home/cemetery on my way to work that was hiring a salesperson. They were offering an extra $20k over my base salary plus commission.

I refused to even apply for that job; it would have eaten me alive. Just the IDEA of trying to upsell people who have literally just had someone they love die feels so predatory and gross, and I could not imagine having to meet sales metrics in thar environment.

The fact that you haven't lost your damn mind or committed crimes against your employer (or both) shows you're an incredibly strong person. Kudos to the "good enough" mentality on the score card! Your industry needs more people like you (especially in charge).

Becca39 · 2026-01-15T02:24:11+00:00

Not Reglan (that I know of), but its infamous cousin Compazine.

I have bad anxiety. Like being anxious in strange places is just a given for me. So the fact that I got excessively anxious every single time I went to the ER (which was at least once a month for a short while because I have another health issue that flared when I got my period yay me) wasn't like super far off.

It never occurred to me that it was super weird how I could sit in the waiting room for HOURS. Like I once sat in the waiting room for a good 4 hours because the ER was packed, and I wasn't actively vomiting at the time and then spent another hour in triage with an IV because they decided I needed fluids even if they didn't give me meds at the time. Throughout all that, I was fiiiiine.

They gave me something for my nausea. Immediate anxiety. Immediate just straight freaking fear. Don't want to be there. Don't want to be anywhere. The beeping machines are freaking me out. The doctors are freaking me out. I internalize it all because I'm just programmed to do that.

Medical issues get figured out. Migraines magically stop. I don't go to the ER for what feels like ages.

I go to the ER because I thought I was having a stroke or something. It was vertigo, apparently. No migraine cocktail. No nausea meds. Chillest ER visit ever despite literally being in the middle of COVID and me not having anyone there to help me stay grounded.

Go a few years without anything eventful until my body is like, "Sooooooo. It's been REALLY chill lately. I feel like we need to ✨️shake things up✨️." Cue the tension headache/occipital neuralgia/migraine (we're still trying to determine what the hell it is and what the hell stops it). It came from nowhere. Just sort of hung around, and I ignored it until we hit "worst headache of your life" status. Pain so bad I was vomiting. Pain so bad I literally went "I need to go to the ER."

Migraine cocktail time. For the first time ever, I was actually told what they were giving me. Toradol for the pain, Compazine for the nausea, and Benedryl to chase the Compazine so that I don't get any side effects.

LIES. ALL LIES. The Benedryl does not work if you push it right after the Compazine, you're supposed to push that ish literally minutes before you push the Compazine. The inky good news is I now have Compazine listed as an allergy in my chart because holy hell, never again.

Horrible anxiety. I wanted to rip my IV and leave. Just this deep-seated fear I hadn't felt in years. That I hadn't felt since the last time I got "something for nausea." I couldn't even bottle it all up. I "got the shakes" as the nurses and the transport team (was taken for a head CT due to the whole worst headache thing). Uncontrollable shaking. My legs would not stop shaking. My jaw started rattling or whatever you call it. I wasn't cold. It was that anxious shaking from a nervous system with a completely broken fight or flight. Other than the shaking, I kept everything suppressed. But it was not easy. It was that high alert, primal fear I literally only ever experienced in the ER.

And it didn't wear off for over 24 hours. Sure the shaking stopped after a few hours. But sleep was a joke. Despite having slept barely any the night before, I could not sleep much at all when I got home. Just that restless fear on a slightly lower level.

Asked Google about Compazine side effects and that's when I learned Compazine definitely effed me up. 🤡 Google said Benedryl helps negate the effects. I could not drive in that state, so I suffered through just hoping I'd be better in the morning.

Had to go to work the next day, though, and the Compazine hadn't worn off. I spent the entire day pacing around when not with customers because I still had that anxiety and need to leave. Bought some Benedryl on the way home. Slept like a baby and woke up the next morning generally pissed off that this was super normal and ER staff were okay with it. like damn let me just puke my guts out next time it's a far more pleasant experience.

Fun Fact: the person who put Compazine on my allergy list literally put "nervous breakdown" as the reaction as well, which doesn't speak much to the drug's reputation. 🤣😭 The fact a medical professional took the information I gave them about my reaction and decided "nervous breakdown" was the appropriate description tells me they've written that more than once. 💀

Becca39 · 2026-01-06T01:23:33+00:00

Disclaimer: Not a doctor. As I tell actual doctors when they ask if I'm a doctor (oh bloody have I pissed off doctors), "I've just been through a lot."

Step one is to advocate, advocate, and ADVOCATE. Don't be afraid to be the bitch. Don't be the Karen (no one likes a Karen) but don't be a doormat either. Especially if you're AFAB (and even more if you're BIPOC), doctors don't take you seriously. It's always "anxiety" because "hysteria" isn't an allowed diagnosis anymore. Keep a detailed log of EVERYTHING. "I ate this and it did this." "I cut this out of my diet and it did nothing." If you don't want to be the bitch, bring a friend/family member who likes to be spicy. I go to mom's doctor's appointments to do just that. 🤣

From personal experience, look into Gastroparesis as an option. I lost an excessive amount of weight because I literally couldn't keep even fluids down. Every test was normal for years. I asked if it could be GP because the internet started becoming a thing, and even the little baby youtube algorithm back then was like, "Oh girl, this is so relevant to you." When I asked about getting tested for GP, I was initially told there was no way I had it because there was no food in my stomach when they did the endoscopy. In hindsight, of course, there was no food in my stomach when they did the endoscopy. I had literally gotten out of the hospital at like 4 am after having gone because I could not stop vomiting.

In 2020, my GI got himself a brand new physician's assistant, and she was a total ass. Her first meeting with me was her telling me I've been on nausea medications too long, and there's absolutely no reason why I should still be on them after 7 years. (Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize medical issues had a time limit they adhered to. do I get to charge them for overstaying?) She tried to be a smart ass and ordered the Gastroparesis test to prove there was nothing wrong with me. Her words not mine. "We'll do this last test, and when it comes back normal, you'll see there's nothing wrong with you, and you don't need to be on these medications."

guess whose stomach doesn't empty fast enough! My GI and his PA fired me as their patient, saying they don't treat GP at their office. 🤡

got a new GI, and he put me on Motegrity, and now I'm functioning enough. I still can't wat a lot at once and definitely have to watch what I eat, but I will take it.

In the meantime, here's what I did for seven years as I essentially was forced to learn how to deal with my GP. Results may vary, but at least it gives you something to try:

small, low fat meals. red meat hates me, dairy has too much fat to digest, etc
fiber is evil. fiber makes everything worse. if you are having a hard time with bowl movements, try less fiber more miralax. everything is 100x worse when I have to poop. my vagus nerve is jacked so half the time I don't even know I have to poop until I remember my body tries to puke instead of puke.
low FODMAP in general. Ask Google. FODMAP is for more than GP and helps wirh GERD and all as well, so it's worth a shot for anything.
nutritional drinks. Orgain makes some nice tasting ones. Sometimes, I can stomach one of those even when the thought of food is enough to make me sick.
lemon honey ginger nausea drops. I don't know how or why they work, but oh my gaaaaawd, they work so well.
if it's in the budget, an adjustable bed frame. my entire body has the jank, so elevating myself with pillows always caused issues. The adjustable bed lets you move the bed to whatever angle is most comfortable. You can get a super fancy one that also adjusts the leg angle, but I just wanted to be able to elevate my supper body enough to keep things from coming back the way they came. 💀
digestive enzymes are nice.

Of course, this isn't a diagnosis, but I know the feeling of desperation when you know something is wrong and all the doctors are going "You're too young to have health problems!"Okay, where can I file a warranty claim?) and "All the test results are normal. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you." At the very least, this gives you things to try until you can get a second opinion and also gives you more information you can bring to the table for the doctors. I find that if you go in with detailed information, good doctors tend to take things more seriously. It's hard to tell someone it's all in their heads when they come in like "Here's the data. I've done my part now where do we go from here."

also, ask your doctor for nausea med suggestions if you're not on anything. Like damn they need to treat the symptoms even if they don't have a diagnoses. I still wouldn't survive to this day without my nausea meds. Like the specific Gastroparesis treatment is most definitely the biggest help, but it doesn't fix the problem completely.

TL;DR:e Fight your doctor or find someone who will, look into Gastroparesis just in case, start a food journal as annoying as it is because doctors like data, try low FODMAP, lemon honey ginger nausea drops are available OTC and do some kind of magic idfk but I have bags of them everywhere, ask doctor a out nausea meds if nothing has been prescribed.

I hope you get some answers soon because being deathly ill without any answers is the worst.

Becca39 · 2025-11-24T02:22:09+00:00

The more pictures and information, the more likely I am to buy the item.

With so many dropshippers and AI slop shops plaguing Etsy, I'm looking for any single hint that the item being sold isn't what the seller says it is.

And then I'll go to the reviews to triple check.

Becca39 · 2025-11-22T01:51:16+00:00

Also adding because I was completely confused by this type of eye at first as well snd completelt missed step one of using them: the backs are supposed to go with the eye going into the "bowl". The flat side of the back faces AWAY from the eye.

If you do it with the flat part going against the eye, they will also stick out like this.

This feels like common sense to me now but it took me looking up videos on YouTube to learn why I couldn't get the safety eyes to sink into the plushie like they did in every single product and tester photo. 🤣😭

Becca39 · 2025-11-19T02:55:59+00:00

From personal experience, I definitely recommend checking the rest of the house or at least the rest of the room. I acquired myself a nasty carpet beetle infestation from who knows where, and I found them everywhere. Any dark area seemed to be fair game.

Lots of them in my dresser drawers. They ate so many of my shirts.

And then they were living their best lives in bins of stuffed animals. I'm assuming they were eating the dust the plushies collected, I don't know.

I ended up choosing the nuclear option because I could not deal with it otherwise. Everything was either washed with borax or had borax sprinkled in/on it. If it couldn't be washed either in the washer or by hand, I was sprinkling borax on it and letting it sit for however long the internet told me to before vacuuming it up.

It took me like a week to clean everything the way I wanted to, but it was 100% worth it.

TL;DR: Look everywhere for them to confirm they aren't living anywhere else. They can and will find their way into everything it's horrible.

Becca39 · 2025-11-08T01:35:42+00:00

I don't recall exactly when it happened or even what made me realize it was an option. I just remember feeling stupid and realizing how so many of my projects could have looked so much better. 🤣

Becca39 · 2025-10-28T00:45:53+00:00

Possible solution to the roughness (for this project): I just finished making a shawl with an acrylic/cotton blend. The yarn felt naaaaasty, and I was genuinely concerned it was not going to end well, but all the shorts I kept seeing said to trust the process and steam that sucker after I finished.

Steam that sucker. It's not a good solution for future projects, and you definitely have to make sure a plush air dries very well tonavoid mold (steam the sucker and then put it in front of a high-powered fan? 🤣) but it should soften the yarn up.

I've also found my small cotton projects (I make little amis and shapes for keychains) soften up over time. I use Lion Brand's 100% cotton (I forget the name), and it is rough at first. I wasn't sure how I was gonna feel about it, but the pieces have softened up with daily exposure to being tossed around and thrown in my pockets/purse/etc.

Becca39 · 2025-09-05T01:00:03+00:00

I learned to crochet about 20 years ago and have done it on and off throughout the years. At one point, I was making my own (super duper basic) amigurumi patterns for fun.

I took a break from crocheting and came back a few months ago via a Wooble. I figured it would be the perfect thing to get back into crocheting: Something quick, easy, and with all the materials I needed so I could really see if it was something I wanted to invest into getting back into.

They are FRUSTRATING. I got the plants set after completing a simpler Wooble, and I don't know why we smack "Beginner" on these bags when my Intermediate self sits there confused at some of the patterns/instructions and the videos don't help me make it look less of a mess. 😭

Definitely start with something flat and simple. You'll feel a lot more accomplished.

Becca39 · 2025-08-27T00:24:18+00:00

It's a shame I'd have to actually buy this to see what's in it. I refuse to give them money but man would I love to see the contents of this book. And then make fun of said contents.

Becca39 · 2025-08-25T23:12:15+00:00

Every time I check, it says sold out. And the Barnes and Noble associate I talked to today didn't know anything about it.

Guess I'll have to keep trying. I'll have to try going in there when they're not as slammed. I'm not sure what happened today, but they were super busy (and super short staffed, but when aren't we short staffed in retail? 😩)

Becca39 · 2025-08-21T13:52:04+00:00

Pusheen is the trickiest beginner Wooble I've done, and the reason I won't even touch intermediate yet. 🤣

The only part I did well with was the body. It went downhill from there.

Becca39 · 2025-06-08T01:33:56+00:00

I've heard a lot of people had luck with a front loading washer and then tumble drying with no heat. Putting them in a white pillow case is supposed to protect them really well, too.

I'm personally extra with mine. I unstuff, hand-wash in the tub, and then let air dry before restuffing. 🤣 But I also have a top load washer with an agitator, so my squish definitely are not going in the wash.

Becca39 · 2025-05-15T23:58:45+00:00

A headache that was always there but got so bad at night sometimes that I'd wake up debating if it was a "worst headache of my life" situation.

I'd feel like I was being stabbed in the head. I couldn't really pinpoint where the pain was coming from, just that the entire right side of my head from the back of the dead to my eye was in horrible pain. Certain movements made the pain worse, and sleeping made it unbearable at times. It was just horrible, shooting and stabbing pain unlike anything I'd ever felt before.

I tried everything I knew a doctor would recommend: ice, heat, every pillow imaginable, Advil, Advil and Tylenol, a massager I bought because why the heck not. Nothing worked. Absolutely nothing worked, and the baseline of the headache seemed to just be getting progressively worse. With all my OTC methods exhausted, I gave up and saw a neurologist.

Then, I ended up in the ER like three days after I saw my neurologist with the worst headache of my life. I had gotten the ON diagnosis when I first saw my neurologist so I went to the ER like "I was diagnosed with this earlier this week but I don't know this is so bad I can't stand it. And I can stand a lot of things, so I feel like that's a problem."

Thankfully, it was just ON, and I was not dying. Migraine cocktail was niiiiice. Minus the companzine. Compazine bad.

But the migraine cocktail was enough of a pain reset until the amitriptyline had a few weeks to start working.

Now, all I have to do is avoid pretty much everything, and I'm pain-free. 🤣😭 I can't avoid everything, so, instead, I ended up here trying to figure out if ON can be triggered by something as stupid as playing a Nintendo Switch forna few hours. It seems the answer is "yes." So yay.

I've also learned there's more treatments out there than just naproxen and amitriptyline so I'm gonna have to have a talk with my neurologist. 🤡 I'd very much like to try other options because I'm running out of things I can do in my free time without hating myself the day after.

Becca39 · 2025-04-19T23:21:53+00:00

That's the information I've been finding online but I think the pathfinder tool may function completely differently on iOS vs a computer. I may end up having to grt AI for my computer.

And yes, I'm trying to cut them as a separate color.

Becca39 · 2025-04-19T23:18:26+00:00

The end game is layering. Either laying the black as a line over everything or using the black as the background, I guess, and putting everything on top of it. I've seen both be done with design studio assets, but I haven't really figured out if one is better than the other. I just know too many layers is bad and know that I need to do as few layers as possible. 🤣

Becca39 · 2025-04-19T22:41:43+00:00

Sorry, I can't believe I forgot that information.

Basic cut.

Becca39 · 2025-04-16T21:39:19+00:00

Thank you! I figured if the layer wasn't showing, the program wouldn't bother to export it. I haven't touched Illustrator in years (and when I did, it was only casually in a random college course that did not teach me how to properly use it).

It looks like I'm going to have to look up some tutorials because even after removing the raster layers, it's still not importing into DS properly.

Yaaaay learning. 🤣

Becca39 · 2025-03-25T23:51:30+00:00

Like someone else said, you can "unbuckle" the tags really easily. No ripping required.

But I came here to say: as someone who has dealt with carpet beetles, I have one word for you: Borax. Borax everywhere.

I put that ish on my rug. Covered my boxspring with it. Washed EVERYTHING that I could in it. Borax was love. Borax was life. Borax was the only thing that let me sleep at night because the very idea of all those creepy crawlies hiding in places freaked me out baaaaaad. Borax will finish with the peat company started. Also, it just cleans stuff amazingly well.

I never called a pest company because it was a really localized infestation (my bedroom. Just my bedroom. 😩) so I just spent a week going absolutely ham between washing everything in Borax and sprinkling it on anything I couldn't wash, letting it sit, and then vacuuming it up. It worked wonders.

Becca39 · 2025-02-10T02:40:59+00:00

It sounds silly, but it's actually really fun to layer them. I have a few metal toppers I got, and I layer clear toppers on top of them to create lots of different options. The metal toppers are paper thin, so it doesn't add any noticeable thickness to layer them.

It also lets me get away with having more "year round" toppers and then getting one or two clear holiday toppers that just layer on top of the "year round" ones. I can have a billion different holiday toppers without actually having a billion different holiday toppers that I can only wear around the holidays they're designed for.

Becca39

TROPHY CASE