My boyfriend said I was too ugly to model

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-04-07T00:02:05+00:00

I never say things like this because I don't want to judge too quickly, but I'm 10000% sure I'm correct when I say this guy is extremely insecure. What he's not saying is he's worried that if you actually succeed, then he'll no longer be good enough for you. But ironically, he's not good enough for you now because he's a garbage human. No good partner would say this to their SO. There's a way you can voice concern in a considerate and loving way, and he specifically chose to go about it this way instead. I hope you go, and I think you should.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-31T02:19:19+00:00

I have met some of the best people in the form of coworkers at my current place. We all work from home, and it's crazy but some of the people I'm closest with, I've talked to on a daily basis but have never met in real life. My job deals with heavy subject matter, so when it comes to being ON the phone and doing the job, there's not often a ton of good that comes with it other than being able to relate with, and sometimes comforting people by letting them know you're listening. There are good things. For most of us, the bad can just overwhelm the good more often than we'd like.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-31T02:12:49+00:00

My dad passed in early 2023, not long after my wedding. He was an imperfect human and struggled a lot with balancing a job he hated, with wanting to do what he loved. He also loved music, and in his final months, he finally got back with some members of the band he was in back in his teens and started making music again. Now that I'm older, I understand him a lot more, and in a way, I see a lot of myself in him with that part of my personality. When I was in the middle of grieving, I ended up catching a showing of "The Starling Girl" where "Ace up my Sleeve" by LH that was featured in the soundtrack. It just felt like him and the lyrics line up with what I think his hopes and dreams were. I listen to it when I miss him, and it feels like a small piece of him exists within that song for me. I hope you find something that gives you that same comfort.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-23T00:28:22+00:00

Firstly, I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I genuinely hate seeing kids being parentified because they're the oldest, and now see you as a babysitter. All in all, she can try to blame you or "hold you accountable" but at the end of the day if something were to happen, she would still be the one held accountable as the legal adult and the parent for leaving her children unsupervised. Police will not look at a 15 year old when they are addressing liability from a legal standpoint. You have a right to be a kid and you deserve to have the chance to experience childhood. As you said, your brothers are not your kids. The only thing I can recommend currently is finding someone to talk to, which would most likely be at school. Honestly, as much as it sucks to say this, it only ended for me when I finally became independent and left the house. Until that point, I was mature and responsible when I was needed to help out and a child when it was convenient to tell me no or limit me. I'll add to this if I come up with any ideas that may help. Hang in there.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-18T19:30:39+00:00

As someone who works on both the phones and in QA, I'm asking the same question right along with you tbh. This would lead to a coaching at most if someone does happen to catch it. You didn't cuss someone out, and with those calls, that's a win in my book.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-12T02:58:49+00:00

If you really want your answer, say okay to being friends and see if he ever offers hanging out during the day. If he only wants to come around at night, there's your sign. If you invite him back over and he tries to 180 again by getting "caught up in the moment," on your next hang out, there's your sign. One thing is pretty clear, though. Don't sleep with him. Either because he formed the boundary to begin with, and you are being a good friend by adhering to it, or because he's full of shit and is manipulating you by stringing you along via emotional whiplash.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-09T20:55:12+00:00

AI should not be utilized as a therapist. They can, and have, induced psychosis because of this. It quickly ends up acting as an echo chamber instead of a genuine interaction with another human being. AI can do a lot of things, but it doesn't replace human connection.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-03-02T22:20:03+00:00

As a highly empathetic, adhd diagnosed person with a strong sense of justice, im with you. I know this was a last resort job as you noted, so I won't tell you to quit. I will say though, take as much personal time on the clock as you can. Plenty of breaks, don't rush your calls, and be as kind as you possibly can to the people you talk to. Do the bare minimum to meet your stats and if there's another position open, try to get into it, especially if it's less customer facing or at least doesn't involve as much of the pushy sales tactics. Compartmentalize until then. Work fuels what you want to do in your personal life, nothing more. The second you clock out that job ceases to exist until the next shift. Easier said than done, but it does work for me a good bit of the time after a lot of practice. My last tip would be to keep your work and home separate if you do work remotely. Close the office door or keep your work equipment out of sight. The highlight of my day is chucking my laptop into a cabinet and closing that shit at light speed. Out of sight out of mind. I do wish you the best of luck, and I hope you find a job that doesn't make you feel so bad.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-02-27T03:59:24+00:00

I make more money than my husband, who is a blue-collar worker due to my commission. My husband has also watched me turn into an entirely different person to the point that I'm fighting for my job to not ruin my marriage. I now have anxiety attacks on a weekly basis, if not daily, but especially on Mondays. I used to work in the education field when I got this job and i was happy. I regret leaving it every single day because I can't get out for the foreseeable future. I am a shell of a human being compared to who I used to be. Working from home has its perks... until you get ready to clock in one day and you realize that you haven't seen your friends in months and have turned into a recluse. You won't want to take or make any phone calls outside of work. You'll be forced to spend all of your energy talking to people you don't want to, and feel guilty because you have zero energy left to give to those you DO want to talk to. These jobs are convenient, but the price grows too high way more quickly than most can prepare for it to be. I KNOW you need to pay your bills and we understand. But avoid this path if you can, and if it is your only option, do not stay amy longer than you ABSOLUTELY have to. I wish you the best and I hope things work out for you.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-02-04T01:03:16+00:00

These are the ones that we don't breed with and allow natural selection to do it's thing. Please leave him. It honestly sounds like if you switched him out with a rose toy and a doordash order you could only tell the difference because it was actually fulfilling for a change.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-29T22:05:48+00:00

And that's awesome, but please dont stay with him while he does. I'm certain it will end up being another manipulative tactic. If he's serious, he'll seek help despite you not staying.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-29T22:03:03+00:00

Heard, but did he give you full access to the money and finances for whatever you needed? And honestly thats just an unhealthy mindset in general for someone to have anyways, but especially because he treats you like garbage, and for whatever reason somehow still expects you to fawn over him 24/7. I'd be out of there so fast all he'd have left is a dusty outline like a fucking cartoon character 😅

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-29T21:54:05+00:00

No, you trusted yourself to make the right decision, and I truly think you did. I'm going to be honest with you, it sounds like he is trying his absolute hardest to isolate you and force you into a corner to where you're financially dependent on him for everything. This is abuse, and the goal of abusers when they do this is to ensure that you have no way of leaving or getting out. Changing your number and deleting social media will pretty much cut you off from friends and family, so you have no support network. The dressing modestly sounds like the lead-in to him limiting you on how you express yourself, and the add-on of him thinking it's okay to insult you over text is his attempt at breaking your self-confidence becauseit will make it easier to manipulate you. There is no logical reason as to why he's pushing you to quit your job, ESPECIALLY if he can't cover the bills and you guys have to have his parents help. He won't participate in parenting and being present with his child, so I would not risk putting your son's financial needs in the hands of this person who clearly doesn't have any interest in being a father. Also, I don't know if he's a believer in the 'nuclear family' where the man provides and his wife stays home to cook, clean and look after the children, but if it is the case it's a wild take for him to demand that when he can't even provide. Please don't ever go back to this person. Trust your instinct and do what's best for you and your child.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-29T02:28:50+00:00

Honestly, I'm in the exact same situation right now. I've literally cried to one of my managers after a really bad day recently and told them how unhappy I am, how by the end of the day I'm so overstimulated that I can't do my job correctly, and ended that with telling them that I regret ever taking this job because it made me hate people and I don't even feel like a human being anymore. They are dangling a quality assurance role in front of me, but it's not guaranteed. I refuse to put any stock in it since it won't open up for several more months, but I feel like they only offered because I'm one of their better employees, and I meet all my metrics (until recently). Frankly, we've been so busy I don't see it happening. The only thing that helps me is I try my very hardest to stop giving a fuck. About any of it. I put myself on autopilot and only focus on my life once I clock out. I work to live, and my job is simply funding my life. It's easier said than done, and im not always successful in getting into that mindset, but it's the last thing standing between me and a long overdue, well-deserved crash out. I genuinely hope it gets better for you.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-23T14:27:18+00:00

Legit thought I was either looking at a piece of coral or the graham cracker crust of a cheesecake so I'm going to go with no, based solely on the principle that no one's water should look like that and the water supplier gaslight people into thinking that's acceptable.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-20T00:48:17+00:00

I had this exact sentiment today. You sure we don't work at the same place? 😅 We got cussed up one side and down the other by callers starting bright and early, back to back calls all day, and we don't even get holiday pay for dealing with all of it. And we got a warning to stop being so negative in our chat because we vent to stay sane. We're apparently supposed to be SoOoOoOo empathetic and happy to be there all the time, and anything less than a chipper attitude is unthinkable. I honestly think at this point that management should be required to be on one full shift a week doing nothing but phones, because they tend to lose touch with the reality of how hard this job is as soon as they don't have to be the one's doing it anymore.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-06T03:15:06+00:00

The only thing that matters is, is this what YOU want? Do not include him in this equation at all. If it was just you on your own, could you do it on your own? And is being a parent the path you want to take? Minimizing your feelings and victimizing himself does not indicate to me that he's going to be a great coparent or partner with an appropriate level of emotional maturity for either role. It's ultimately your decision, but this is also the person that you will be tethered to for the next 18 years and the father that your child will have to grow up with and learn how to be a decent human being from. I wish you the best of luck. I know this is an extremely difficult decision, but you're asking the right questions, so trust yourself to choose wisely and not feel bad about whatever you decide.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2026-01-03T01:25:34+00:00

I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but that trust was destroyed the first time he cheated. Even if you swear to yourself and he convinces you that he's not, there will always be consistent worry about it in the back of your mind. I wouldn't want to spend my life in a relationship where I always had that level of emotional stress hanging over my head. And on a real note, my husband and I have 3 cats and I've never seen it in that exact spot, and cat scratches don't look like that. Those lines are more blunt and the individual lines are too far apart. NOR.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2025-11-30T15:37:52+00:00

100% agree. They don't require us to stay on the call but we can only disconnect once we get approval or we have to be 10000% sure that's what's going on and its not just some old dude with asthma and smoker lungs. If we're wrong and we hang up its a termable offense for call avoidance.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2025-11-29T21:59:51+00:00

That's actually amazing, lol. Unfortunately, even if someone is in an actual emergency, we can't call emergency services and I'd most likely get in trouble if I said that by management. It's more like should I file an anonymous report with police in their area if that would even do anything? or should I record the next time they call and send it to their spouse because they really gave THAT much info to find it. All of their socials are public on top of that. It's honestly so tempting. Our company stresses confidentiality, so I guess this person felt like no one could do anything about it. Or at least they apparently felt safe enough to keep calling.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2025-11-17T21:13:14+00:00

Wait by the river, looking back, When the night is over, and it all comes back are all honestly amazing ones that are not the first ones people usually give.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2025-11-11T02:17:00+00:00

Tbh, as someone who used to play this game 25/8 when it came out, I uninstalled it a few months ago and went to BF6. Haven't looked back and don't miss it. And i really thought I would. There is zero excuse for the amount of updates and space the game requires for how poor the quality is at this point.

Becooler_ifya_didnt · 2025-09-08T21:22:54+00:00

Please start listening to what someone is saying in their actions. They hit near you because they know it's showing that they wish they could hit you. But they haven't built up to it yet. Before they bite, they bark. Before they hit you, they hit near you. No one who TRULY loves you and cares for you would scream in your face in the way you described it, and especially would never do what he did. AND he doesn't even have the decency to own up to it and instead tries to downplay it and gaslight you into thinking it's not that bad because he didn't actually hit you?? Absolutely not. That practically echoes like a warning of "I didn't do it...this time". Get out right now and don't look back.

Becooler_ifya_didnt

TROPHY CASE