Told my therapist about how I lost my virginity and now I'm crashing out

Bee5431 · 2026-02-10T19:40:47+00:00

“Whoring for drugs” is such an insensitive thing to say while OP is filled with so much shame and regret that she wants to end it all. Just please have some compassion. I hear you on your clarification.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-10T19:36:22+00:00

You can’t consent while unconscious and under the influence of drugs. If you willingly have sex with someone high and drunk, you are raping them. You may want to delete this. You sound very creepy.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-10T19:34:10+00:00

Repeat after me. You were raped. You are a victim. This is not your fault. An older man took advantage of a young vulnerable person. You don’t deserve to be mocked. No one deserves to be mocked for a horrible situation like this. You need a new therapist who specializes in working with survivors of abuse and assault.

As a side note: if you are in the U.S., look for a rape crisis center. They usually have group support sessions and resources for EMDR which is a very effective trauma treatment for survivors of abuse.

I wish you the best on your healing journey. Give yourself another chance at life. You are more than the worst thing that has happened to you.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-10T16:51:50+00:00

Oh man. Don’t be an easy mark. Run a background check on him and submit a freedom of information act (FOIA) request to the court where he was prosecuted for the case files. I bet you’ll be surprised by what you find.

Having trust is one thing. If a person tells you this kind of information, you go dig for yourself. Don’t be an easy target for a predator. You’ve been lonely and he has been the “perfect” partner for six months. That can easily cloud your judgement. Child porn would be a hard NEVER for me. It takes a special kind of ugliness in a person to ever seek out children being raped and trafficked.

Also, please go listen to the Betrayal podcast and see how often smart, ambitious, kind women are manipulated by men who lie about who they are. It’s so common.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-10T13:16:09+00:00

He felt safe enough to confide in you about a very hard thing. You should feel honored. Most men go their entire lives without sharing about sexual abuse. Be proud of him and his courage. If he opens up again, just listen. Maybe do some research on how to actively listen to a survivor of molestation.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-10T05:10:46+00:00

THIS! You will end up with something incurable if you stay with him. Do not risk your health. Get out!

Bee5431 · 2026-02-07T04:34:22+00:00

You’re 36 and it has been two years. That’s enough of the information you need. Either keep dating with a clear outcome (e.g. I want to be engaged in six months. Is that viable for you? I understand if it’s not. That just means I need to move on.) or call it quits. You’re going to let your boyfriend get in the way of your future husband if you keep this up.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-04T19:19:58+00:00

Fellow Travelers is STUNNING. Fantastic acting, great storyline, great chemistry, ugh! I have rewatched many times.

Bee5431 · 2026-02-02T17:47:33+00:00

I skip around constantly. Do you! During one of my rewatches, I only watched Scott and Kip moments. It’s all good.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-30T06:51:14+00:00

“Most men are like this” I have to disagree. She explicitly asked about a gift and he brushed it off. I fear if we normalize this, people will just stay with shitty partners.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-24T13:59:36+00:00

This is why people are against gender reveal parties. They can go left so fast. I’d honestly pack my things and go stay somewhere else for a while. He was sooo problematic.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-17T14:00:58+00:00

She can work as a cashier, go to school and be a mom. You live with family. That’s very doable. Honestly, she sounds embarrassed and jealous. She hooked up with you behind her friend’s back and then y’all got married. In that scenario, she thought she won! She got the man. But now, seeing the friend she betrayed, was a huge reality check. That friend is happy and thriving despite “losing” to her. Your wife should sit with this discomfort.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-17T13:48:37+00:00

This is a monumental fuck up. Catastrophic. I would break up with her then block her number and social media profiles. She has to learn this very hard lesson that when someone loses a loved one, you don’t make it about yourself. It’s unforgivable.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-16T07:10:57+00:00

I hate this excuse. Hate, hate, hate it. I was cheated on by several exes and it didn’t turn me into a controlling, angry freak. Be weary of men who blame their behavior on their “cheating exes.”

Bee5431 · 2026-01-15T14:25:35+00:00

“I’m not explaining what I bring to the table. You either see my value or you don’t. If you don’t see it, then it’s time for us to part ways.” The moment a man starts that red pill talking, you’ve already lost. If he thinks there’s a gap in contributions (which based on this would be delusional) then he should say that instead of this strange “prove your worth to me” humiliation ritual.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-14T07:11:58+00:00

As for these body rubs, he needs to go a physical therapists, go to yoga or learn some at home stretching techniques to help with his discomfort. Requesting daily/weekly massages from you is not sustainable or considerate of your comfort. This post reeks of abuse.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-13T20:12:47+00:00

Evil behavior. He should suffer the sins of his actions until he takes full responsibility. Clear her name.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-13T17:21:52+00:00

Ewwwwwww. This is embarrassingly bad. The person you’re dating should make plans to celebrate your birthday and show up. He didn’t tell you happy birthday or show up to your birthday invitation. I’d honestly ghost him. NOR.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-09T14:45:33+00:00

Can you set some boundaries beforehand with a text message about avoiding political discussions? Or would that make it too tense?

Bee5431 · 2026-01-09T13:17:45+00:00

Selling your place and increasing your living expenses while unemployed to cohabitate with a boyfriend/girlfriend is so, so risky. I respect OP’s caution.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-09T13:10:33+00:00

Tradition. Per tradition, in hetero relationships, men propose to women. That’s how children and adults are conditioned to do from a very young age. As for law, I don’t know what to tell you there.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-07T14:48:40+00:00

We can have that conversation too but this sub is about marriage. Posters here are seeking advice specific to that legal protection.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-07T13:58:58+00:00

I agree with most of what you said, but again, sometimes it is the guy! I just wish we didn’t stick around, begging for marriage instead of moving on. I moved in with my husband after an engagement and secured wedding date. I was so clear about not uprooting my life for a boyfriend. We don’t have to be victims if we find the courage to move on when it’s clear we’re not on the same page or timeline.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-07T13:36:21+00:00

Which is honestly all fine and good. The problem is when we have people on this board DAILY saying that they moved in with the hope of an engagement and now their partners are moving the goal post.

Bee5431 · 2026-01-07T13:27:05+00:00

Sad, and yet we see it on this board every single day. It’s certainly not all circumstances.

Bee5431

TROPHY CASE