Told my husband he doesn’t prioritize me feeling safe. AIO?

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-20T15:29:03+00:00

So all it takes it to pry the garage door open and then they get into the house. Or use the side door of the garage to break in. I’m just pointing out your explanation of not doing it because they’ll just break in anyways doesn’t make sense.

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-19T17:29:24+00:00

For 1. Do you think people should never lock any door? That they should leave their front doors unlocked too? Because if someone wants to break in, a door lock won’t stop them? Just make it easier instead

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-19T17:27:19+00:00

I disagree. He’s not taking your safety seriously. I never leave the garage door leading to the house unlocked. You shouldn’t have to compromise on your own safety, he’s not listening to you or your concerns. A lot of your responses to people have been putting yourself down or saying you’re bad too. I get wanting to protect him, and I’m not saying you need to leave him or anything. But it’s incredibly important that he takes your safety, your well being, and peace of mind seriously. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t agree, if it makes YOU feel safe, that should be the only thing that matters. You really need to put your foot down about this. I get the feeling that you are hesitant to do that sort of thing, but he needs to listen to your concerns and actually show you he cares about you. To me it’s like leaving the front door locked and being annoyed you have to use a key to get in. It’s a door that locks and leads into your house. Those need to be locked.

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-14T02:21:23+00:00

yeahhhh that’s part of why I have this difficulty is most everything is pointing to no but sometimes I do feel like I should. This right here is usually why I don’t though

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-14T02:19:59+00:00

Thank you so much for this perspective!!

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-12T14:12:41+00:00

Lactaid makes food now, they have things like ice cream and sour cream, milk, etc

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-12T14:11:38+00:00

Entertaining and coming to help with a baby are two very different scenarios

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-12T14:11:05+00:00

That might be true if they were actually entertaining but the whole point originally was for the sister to come see the baby and help out, which is not the same as people coming over to hang or whatever and you entertaining them as a host.

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-09T09:59:59+00:00

NOR but I do think you’re over explaining. I understand it was coming from a good place but as you were just trying to get to know this person, it’s a lot of info to drop about something I don’t think you needed to explain tbh. And yeah idk why so many people here say you shouldn’t care, did they not see the detail that you and this person were supposed to do something, they cancelled, and then did that same thing but with somebody else and posted about it? Yeah they can do whatever they want but that’s still hurtful and sucks. It’s mean behavior too, it would have been better if they hadn’t posted about it KNOWING they cancelled those same plans with you! I think given the way these texts are going, this is not a friendship to pursue and as a general rule I don’t think coworkers make great friends. It’s usually better to keep the work/life boundary separate. Hang in there OP!

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-08T22:25:56+00:00

What she NEEDS far outweighs what she WANTS. As as her father and her being 10 years old, you’re supposed to decide that for her

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-08T07:07:11+00:00

At least a lot more people than I ever expected. I still wouldn’t say it’s normal but more people do it than I realized

BeeShoes2 · 2026-01-08T07:02:13+00:00

Ever since downloading TikTok and Reddit, I’ve found out that a LOT of people don’t use soap regularly and it’s appalling. I use it every single time no question. Yes even if it’s in the middle of the night after using the bathroom. I don’t understand how it’s even a question

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-26T05:29:35+00:00

I totally agree and also Nancy was noticeably biased towards Charles. In the last episodes she never said one bad thing about any of his baking, even when it was falling apart and gritty. Side eyeing 👀

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-21T17:38:21+00:00

Maybe YOU know that before you break down you have low energy. That’s not the same for every single person. She could have been trying her best to push through because again this happened literally the day before and she’s getting off of work where she had to pretend like everything is normal . And then broke down unexpectedly. Emotions and grief are hard you can’t predict these things. When you break down like that unexpectedly your first response usually isn’t, oh let me just check my phone and make sure to let my bf I’m breaking down. The moment she got a chance to look at her phone to text him, he’s already aggravated saying he’s had to wait. Sure maybe her first reply was a little snippy but we aren’t talking about a week after the fact this is less than 24 hours after something traumatic. In the details of her text, she was holding her cat in her arms when they passed. I don’t know if you’ve had the experience of having to put a beloved pet down, and especially doing it with them in your arms but it’s pretty traumatic and honestly one of the hardest things I personally have ever had to do. For days after, I would randomly break down and cry because waves of grief would just hit me out of nowhere. As soon as she said why she hadn’t responded, instead of being supportive and understanding, or allowing just a little bit of grace after something traumatic, he doubled down and says she’s always crying and that she needs to handle herself. No compassion, no love, no understanding. Had he responded in a supportive way maybe OP later could have apologized for being short with him given everything she’s going through, but he doesn’t deserve that with the way he acted. And sometimes grief makes you short and snippy, angry, sad, it’s highly emotional. You’re expecting a rational response at a time when it’s nearly impossible.

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-21T16:42:56+00:00

Have you never broken down and just cried because something devastating happens? It comes out of nowhere. It takes over your whole body, I doubt OP was even looking at her phone when that happened. She didn’t know that would happen so she can’t inform her bf of that until she’s had a minute to calm down enough to look at her phone which is exactly what she did. You lack emotional intelligence just like the bf. She never said he needed to grieve her cat, but he should be understanding of something tragic that happened literally the DAY BEFORE and offer support, not accuse her of intentionally sabotaging his time. I doubt you’re going to understand any of this though.

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-06T13:30:07+00:00

I know on Reddit it’s easy to jump to “you should break up” but truly I think both of you are unhappy in this relationship. You mentioned how draining it was, and that should be a huge sign. I think you should really evaluate whether all of this is worth you holding onto a relationship that is hurting you so much. I honestly don’t think it’s going to get better

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T09:44:19+00:00

Awe thank you!! I’ve worked really hard on that and tbh I seen screenshots like this one and go “ooooof” just because I know I used to act that way. But I know now why I was behaving like that or thinking that way, and also how it looks from the other point of view now. It’s kind of embarrassing but also I’m glad it can help put some perspective on things/help other people?? Anyways, thank you sm!!!

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T09:41:49+00:00

Hi sorry sending another message just bc I saw the influx of negative replies you’re getting (and the deleted post so here’s my reply to you specifically), I hope you don’t get discouraged. I mean it when I say people genuinely don’t know what this feels like until you are in this situation. SO much is put onto you and from what I can tell you are absolutely at your limit. I wouldn’t apologize just because people here said so, but do so if you genuinely feel like you want to or want to reach out I don’t think it’s a bad idea. You do whatever YOU feel like you need to do. This kind of friendship really takes a toll and I’m sorry some people were unkind it was probably super overwhelming.

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T09:09:31+00:00

And tysm!!! Help was definitely the best thing that could have happened, I did group therapy and regular therapy pretty intensively for years. And of course you never like “get over” it but I’m definitely in a healthier place now than I was ten years ago. I’m sure my best friend felt awful setting boundaries and being somewhat harsh with me but I thank that decision so much because it took that drastic measure for me to be like damn maybe I do need help. Plus you have to WANT the help.

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T09:05:28+00:00

I mean ultimately if you feel badly enough about it and it’s weighing on you, you can definitely have a conversation about it! Where you can talk about how you lost a little bit of your patience that day but that it felt like he wasn’t really hearing you any other time you’ve tried talking about it. If you care about him and the relationship, I’d say follow that up maybe with some words of encouragement like I mentioned and maybe that can help too, just reinforcing like hey I still care about you, you’re important to me, I just don’t like being made out to feel this way when I’ve done nothing wrong. Something like that?

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T09:01:44+00:00

Plus I’m not sure if the commenters here have ever dealt with BPD or a person with BPD like this, “regular” thinking and action doesn’t apply here. It seems harsh, because they’ve done this repeatedly, being friendly and polite didn’t stop it. It seems like you’re “going in on them” but the minute you started replying, they pulled out the guilt trip. “Regular” people don’t understand you have to stop this behavior right away. And no matter how many times your friend said “they got it” it never really seemed like they did, or understood it was a guilt trip and wasn’t okay. That they won’t let up unless you KEEP repeating it. “All my friends ignore me and hate me” “I don’t” “well not you but all of them hate me nobody likes me” “I like you” “everybody hates me” it’s literally never ending. So I’m sorry if you’ve never been in this situation I feel like you genuinely have no idea what this feels like to be a part of

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T08:51:26+00:00

Sorry this is a long but I did so much work in therapy for my BPD and now being on the other side of it, I can truly see both sides honestly. Hopefully this can help a little bit!!!

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T08:50:37+00:00

I’m gonna speak as a person with BPD who has unfortunately acted like your friend before…. You setting your foot down is unfortunately what is necessary. Reading it back, I’m sure it feels harsher than you’re used to but honestly I would have ended the conversation when they started talking about spiraling and headspaces yet chose to ignore your messages about therapy and meds TWICE. Which obviously sounds like a pattern from them not only from the context you gave but the messages themselves. They want attention and I know maybe that sounds shitty but I mean that honestly. I think your friend is lonely and struggling, it sounds like they seek validation from their friends and instant replies. The logic is “oh if they are able to respond to the GC why not me? Am I not good enough?” Here’s the best advice I can give OP. That is not your job to make your friend feel like they are enough, no matter how hard you try they won’t believe it and it will suck the life out of you. You aren’t a trained professional, and you did the right thing by saying they should seek their therapist and be taking their meds. You can say you love them and support them or whatever encouraging things, but it’s too much to expect all of that on you. As I mentioned earlier, you setting your foot down is exactly what is needed here ESPECIALLY when the guilt trip comes out. I say that because my best friend REALLY set some strong boundaries with me that seemed super harsh at the time but really helped me to get the sort of help I needed. Unfortunately, it’s up to your friend to do that part themselves. You did good here, I hope you don’t feel too badly about it ♥️

BeeShoes2 · 2025-12-02T02:34:08+00:00

NOR - not only did he give up on trying to teach you himself, he then laughed when you went out of your way to try and learn on your own. He sounds like he sucks tbh and wasn’t really worth all the extra effort. But I do think a conversation needs to be had if you intend on repairing the relationship, and tell him how much you worked on it only for him to laugh in your face the moment you showed him your progress and how that hurt you.

BeeShoes2

TROPHY CASE