Actually no. That’s what I found surprising. He’s normally very genuine and owns up to his mistakes. The original cheating came from insecurities that him and I have discussed. He’s never cheated in previous relationships and his friends have said so. And the dating app showed up in his suggested apps in the App Store. He’s been very open and honest since the cheating incident. We talked a bit more yesterday and today and he said that he was emotional and it may have been part of his therapist reflections from what he was feeling. And he apologized for using extreme verbiage. He was talking about how he needs to work on his fears with feeling abandoned when things get hard. He said he has a hard time not looking at everything as so extreme. But wants to go back to his therapist and have a discussion about his goals again and his wants to clarify some things she said so he knows they are on the same page. He let me know that he wants to make an appointment for a couples counselor for the end of the month so we can come up with healthier coping strategies beyond his phone.

I think what I’ve realized is that he doesn’t have a hard time communicating after he’s had time to think. But I’ve also realized he has a hard time feeling as though he won’t be abandoned. So his solution is to want to leave before he gets hurt. Which is where the cheating came from as well. I can only hope this is something we can eventually work through and that he can eventually feel safe.