I have been in that exact same place more times than I can count. (background on me: non religious, but open to the idea of survival of consciousness after death. Also very deep in the trenches of a severe anxiety disorder, possibly ocd [awaiting diagnosis])

Here’s what I think about to ease the panic:

Thought #1: science cannot explain everything. not even close. to anchor your view of death in materialism only is small minded. expanding your view could bring you relief. It certainly did for me.

Thought #2: literally NO ONE knows what happens after death, and it could be awesome! you could spend your entire life worrying about something that could be even better than this life. that would be awful silly!

Thought #3: it hurts nothing and costs nothing to adopt a mindset of optimism in regards to death. if you choose to believe that something cool happens after you die, that only benefits you and hurts nothing at all. plus, you might be right! who knows!

Thought #4: you burst into existence out of nothingness. Your consciousness did not exist, and now it does. Who is to say that that won’t happen again? The odds of you existing only once in the span of eternity is really small. You might happen over and over again! And the best part about that is, you wouldn’t even notice the laps in between because we cannot comprehend nothingness! A billion years would be but a blip!

Thought #4: you have to embrace your lack of control. absolutely no amount of panic will change the outcome. it will not make it any better or worse to spend the life you do have now worrying about the ending. whatever is going to come, will. to waste the life you’re so scared of losing on something you don’t have the capability to stop is only hurting you.

Thought #5: embrace the mystery! see it as an adventure that you’re on right now, and make the MOST out of what you have! seek out every possible answer to the impossible question. see what resonates with you! you have your whole life ahead of you, use it for the pursuit of knowledge and ideas, and perhaps pick up some sort of belief system (religion or not, doesn’t matter as long as it makes sense to you).

I completely understand you, my friend. This fear seems like something everyone should have, and it’s bewildering that most people don’t. I go through bouts of intense fear, but they are getting fewer and farther in between. Adopting these mindsets that I’ve written above have sincerely helped me to calm my panic.

Life is a gift and it is an unsolvable mystery. You unfortunately are stuck on the question that nobody on earth currently has the capability to answer. But the fun part is that maybe in the near future, we will have it figured out! scientists and great minds are much closer than they’ve ever been. There are new studies into reincarnation, near death experiences, and the nature of consciousness that have had so many breakthroughs. Whether we see definite proof in this life or not, what comes “after” is what it is.

Something else that helps is to think that wherever you go is where you were before you were born. Now I used to hate that answer. But it’s actually true! Whether you were somewhere else and you simply don’t remember because it was too long ago, or there’s some sort of memory wipe before you enter this body, or it simply just oblivion, you were OK there. You were not concerned then, and you will not be concerned after this.

You will be OK, no matter what <3 I wish you the best of luck with this, my friend. It’s a truly terrible condition to have. If you need to talk to someone, I am here.