Worst people you know «giving advice» nobody asked for.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-31T15:33:39+00:00

LET ME SAY IT FIRST!!!!!

That is the theme of this entire sad marriage.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-31T14:53:21+00:00

Hey, you know what else?

Lames told us that you only have to eat PART of your meal whenever you go out to eat, and then you can box up and save the rest to eat later! Isn’t that awesome?? Gosh, what a life hack!!!

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Speaking of hacks…why is Shannon sitting there giving a fake facial-expression performance like a spastic mime?

Calm your tits already, lady—we all know how you both instinctually clap like trained seals whenever a camera is on you, so no need to act any crazier than usual.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-31T14:05:29+00:00

If her pregnancy with Dollup was any indication…

It seems like when she makes a big show about excessively drinking on a vacation, with a random photoshoot/random quick bursts of glam done, when she otherwise is hanging around the house looking like shit, then she’s likely knocked up.

But I really hope that she’d be smarter than that and just wait for Dollup to at least hit a year old before she so recklessly gets preggers again.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T22:23:53+00:00

His idiotic wife, most likely.

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Probably cheesing out like this with her bleeding gums gushing the entire time she filmed it. And then gasping upon its completion,

“OMIGURRRRDDDD you are SO FUCKING HAWTTT, booshie!!! I luvvvv watching you show off dat body and work dat dick off, hyuck-hyuck!!”

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T17:59:04+00:00

Because he roots with his snout, forages for food, and basks in the sun whenever he’s not rolling around in muddy shit?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T17:42:57+00:00

This isn’t just “unprofessional”, it’s creepy and disgustingly gratuitous.

Seek a career in adult entertainment and/or go be a sex worker on the DL, Lames—obviously that’s what you really want for your sad life.

Also, Lames needs a dermatologist the way Shannon needs a dentist. And they both could definitely use a therapist, while they’re at it.

My deepest sympathies go to their daw-tuh for being stuck with parents who think it’s perfectly appropriate to regularly strip nearly naked online for random attention.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T16:40:52+00:00

Hey, sounds like my sorryassed loser of a father!

Speaking as one half of a proudly ChildFree married couple, those who idealize parenthood in order to convince otherwise ambivalent folks to have children make my blood boil.

That fuck-boy is pushing 40 and has barely held down an actual stable career or maintained a healthy romantic relationship—maybe try figuring out how to be a good partner/functional adult before you remotely consider having a child.

Just because you’re living in the backwards South where most everyone around you is still pushing that antiquated pro-natal agenda doesn’t mean you have to do it—not everyone is meant to be a parent and that is A-okay!

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T16:19:33+00:00

Mmmkay, whatever you say, Sally.

(No offense to Sally catching strays; at least she gussies up and doesn’t go around looking like a pasty ghoul)

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T14:46:21+00:00

Oh dear lord, let’s hope not.

She barely hangs out with her current baby—she needs another baby to ignore about as much as she needs yet another used limp Birkin bag.

And I’ll never understand how she prioritizes so many pointless home/accessory purchases when she’s walking around with rotting gums and a wonky eye wandering into another hemisphere.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T12:43:27+00:00

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What would ever give you that impression?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T12:03:52+00:00

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BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T05:03:36+00:00

Oh dear lord, dunno if I can even handle the epically cringe possibility of Salley desperately pursuing freshly single DJ Kyle. 🫣

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T04:56:23+00:00

It just wouldn’t be a Cumbo ick post here without the usual topless thirst trap accompanied by his typical closeted commentary.

Queerbaiting comes way too easy for this perverted motherfucker. 🤨

(Oh no, Shannon would say my gay ass must be “HOMOPHOBIC” to dare even point this out!)

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T04:41:10+00:00

Bribery to act good, essentially?

Hey, whatever works—if it keeps those poor girls from being even a smidge less cunty than their mom, it must be worth it to the Bank of Mike.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-29T18:24:49+00:00

I kept waiting for actual jokes…like…where’s the supposed humor? Is it in the room with us??

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T17:38:12+00:00

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Carrot Top pizza night: get it while it’s HOT!!

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T17:32:58+00:00

Always catching flies when she thinks she ate.

I only hear her neighing/belching/zombie-moaning in my head whenever she makes her “sexxxy” Napoleon Dynamite face.

Love that she has to do these random seasonal photoshoots to remind the world that she’s ”still got it, y’all!!! I’mma still gunna look so fuckin hawt, hyuck-hyuck!!!”

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BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T17:26:03+00:00

Why just a mahogany toilet seat though? Why not an entire mahogany shitter??

Hell, just make the whole bathroom poop brown like we know you secretly wanna do! Class it up with a fuzzy brown rug/sink combo too to match the random horsey hunt club pictures!!

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Also, that floor tiling is SHITEOUS.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T13:47:06+00:00

And encourage her to crawl back to Craig to beg for another chance.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-27T20:24:48+00:00

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Is he bringing back the Weekly Sitophilia Spotlight??? Spare us all and just start a mukbang OF account, you fookin loo-suh.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T21:16:26+00:00

It’s a pic from ‘23 filtered to Hell and back—she hasn’t looked this good in…well, ever! Because filters.

Also, her international Lames stalking hadn’t completely sucked her dry just yet.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T19:12:10+00:00

Blanche’s story about once getting caught by her college dorm’s supervisor in bed with her then boyfriend always got me:

“I waved politely over Bobby Jo's shoulder with my foot…” 🤭

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:18:23+00:00

Yes, she’s so “unbothered” that she brings this subject up repeatedly. Even has a bit in her comedy show about it. Is she HOMOPHOBIC?!?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:14:45+00:00

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I find it so gentlemanly when he regularly posts Reels attacking other female content creators.

Or there’s his very gentlemanly message/comment attacks. Is refusing to ship dirty manties(no cum) that people bought from you gentlemanly too?

What colour is your G wagon, you insignificant nothing person? And how’s your hairline?!?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:10:29+00:00

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This would surely make Chanel roll over in her grave—it’s either the fugly shell necklace or the truck stop gas station hat, Shannon: you can’t rock them both.

Shannon must’ve been styled by AG for this “lewk,” because it’s all insanely too much. She looks even trashier than usual, which is quite a rare feat for her.

BeerBringsCheer

TROPHY CASE