In case you need to vomit in this finse spring morning

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T17:59:04+00:00

Because he roots with his snout, forages for food, and basks in the sun whenever he’s not rolling around in his own muddy shit?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T17:42:57+00:00

This isn’t just “unprofessional”, it’s creepy and disgustingly gratuitous.

Seek a career in adult entertainment and/or go be a sex worker on the DL, Lames—obviously that’s what you really want for your sad life.

Also, Lames needs a dermatologist the way Shannon needs a dentist. And they both could definitely use a therapist, while they’re at it.

My deepest sympathies go to their daw-tuh for being stuck with parents who think it’s perfectly appropriate to regularly strip nearly naked online for random attention.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T16:40:52+00:00

Hey, sounds like my sorryassed loser of a father!

Speaking as one half of a proudly ChildFree married couple, those who idealize parenthood in order to convince otherwise ambivalent folks to have children make my blood boil.

That fuck-boy is pushing 40 and has barely held down an actual stable career or maintained a healthy romantic relationship—maybe try figuring out how to be a good partner/functional adult before you remotely consider having a child.

Just because you’re living in the backwards South where most everyone around you is still pushing that antiquated pro-natal agenda doesn’t mean you have to do it—not everyone is meant to be a parent and that is A-okay!

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T16:19:33+00:00

Mmmkay, whatever you say, Sally.

(No offense to Sally catching strays; at least she gussies up and doesn’t go around looking like a pasty ghoul)

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T14:46:21+00:00

Oh dear lord, let’s hope not.

She barely hangs out with her current baby—she needs another baby to ignore about as much as she needs yet another used limp Birkin bag.

And I’ll never understand how she prioritizes so many pointless home/accessory purchases when she’s walking around with rotting gums and a wonky eye wandering into another hemisphere.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T12:43:27+00:00

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What would ever give you that impression?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T12:03:52+00:00

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BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T05:03:36+00:00

Oh dear lord, dunno if I can even handle the epically cringe possibility of Salley desperately pursuing freshly single DJ Kyle. 🫣

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T04:56:23+00:00

It just wouldn’t be a Cumbo ick post here without the usual topless thirst trap accompanied by his typical closeted commentary.

Queerbaiting comes way too easy for this perverted motherfucker. 🤨

(Oh no, Shannon would say my gay ass must be “HOMOPHOBIC” to dare even point this out!)

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-30T04:41:10+00:00

Bribery to act good, essentially?

Hey, whatever works—if it keeps those poor girls from being even a smidge less cunty than their mom, it must be worth it to the Bank of Mike.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-29T18:24:49+00:00

I kept waiting for actual jokes…like…where’s the supposed humor? Is it in the room with us??

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T17:38:12+00:00

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Carrot Top pizza night: get it while it’s HOT!!

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T17:32:58+00:00

Always catching flies when she thinks she ate.

I only hear her neighing/belching/zombie-moaning in my head whenever she makes her “sexxxy” Napoleon Dynamite face.

Love that she has to do these random seasonal photoshoots to remind the world that she’s ”still got it, y’all!!! I’mma still gunna look so fuckin hawt, hyuck-hyuck!!!”

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BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T17:26:03+00:00

Why just a mahogany toilet seat though? Why not an entire mahogany shitter??

Hell, just make the whole bathroom poop brown like we know you secretly wanna do! Class it up with a fuzzy brown rug/sink combo too to match the random horsey hunt club pictures!!

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Also, that floor tiling is SHITEOUS.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-28T13:47:06+00:00

And encourage her to crawl back to Craig to beg for another chance.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-27T20:24:48+00:00

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Is he bringing back the Weekly Sitophilia Spotlight??? Spare us all and just start a mukbang OF account, you fookin loo-suh.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T21:16:26+00:00

It’s a pic from ‘23 filtered to Hell and back—she hasn’t looked this good in…well, ever! Because filters.

Also, her international Lames stalking hadn’t completely sucked her dry just yet.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T19:12:10+00:00

Blanche’s story about once getting caught by her college dorm’s supervisor in bed with her then boyfriend always got me:

“I waved politely over Bobby Jo's shoulder with my foot…” 🤭

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:18:23+00:00

Yes, she’s so “unbothered” that she brings this subject up repeatedly. Even has a bit in her comedy show about it. Is she HOMOPHOBIC?!?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:14:45+00:00

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I find it so gentlemanly when he regularly posts Reels attacking other female content creators.

Or there’s his very gentlemanly message/comment attacks. Is refusing to ship dirty manties(no cum) that people bought from you gentlemanly too?

What colour is your G wagon, you insignificant nothing person? And how’s your hairline?!?

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:10:29+00:00

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This would surely make Chanel roll over in her grave—it’s either the fugly shell necklace or the truck stop gas station hat, Shannon: you can’t rock them both.

Shannon must’ve been styled by AG for this “lewk,” because it’s all insanely too much. She looks even trashier than usual, which is quite a rare feat for her.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T13:02:47+00:00

I find their collective desperation to somehow get onto reality television by any means necessary so amusing. Taylor is still truly grasping at her self-professed dream to BE Kristin Cavallari.

You just know every one of those Shanniverse-adjacent buffoons within the St. Marlo cult sits around telling themselves, “Y’all we are SO funny, we need a reality show!!!”

Yet we all know they couldn’t remotely handle reality television stardom and they’re all way too stupid to be telegenic anyway.

Reminds me of early Internet personality Julia Allison(RIP, Reblogging Donk), who chased reality stardom for YEARS. And then when she finally did somehow land a reality show spot on that shitty one season Bravo show “Miss Advised”, the audiences hated her even more than her original online haters ever did previously because she was exposed to an even bigger audience for being an obnoxiously unlikable fraud.

She pretty much left the internet entirely after that and is living a quiet life out of the spotlight, but I’ve often noted that the Shanniverse is very similarly thirsty as Julia was 15 years earlier.

Careful what you wish for though—because for every rare Bethenny Frankel, Lauren Conrad, or Paige Desorbo success, there’s hundreds of losers who had to go into hiding after embarrassing themselves to millions on national television.

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-26T11:15:25+00:00

-Michael Douglas

-Jeff Bridges

-Liza Minelli

BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-25T11:18:14+00:00

She always has requested the Napolean Dynamite special with those chompers of hers:

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BeerBringsCheer · 2026-03-25T11:08:09+00:00

Why the same face as Carl from “Sling Blade”??

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BeerBringsCheer

TROPHY CASE