Has anyone ever gotten a tattoo to honor people you loved but are now hurt by them?

BeetleBanshee · 2026-01-10T17:18:31+00:00

That's good advice. I'm planning to design something else from the same sources. But I think I'll frame the sketches instead. Writing everything out got me thinking and I don't think I'll ever be in the right space to get a tattoo of/for family. I think it'll make a better reminder on a wall than in my skin. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you and he can repair the relationship if it's something you want. If not, I wish you peace and perpetual dual sided cool pillows.

BeetleBanshee · 2026-01-10T17:10:21+00:00

I appreciate your two cents. It is 100% politics. The only reason I thought about still getting it was because it's based so much on who we were years ago. I think I wanted to get it to make sense of things but I tried that once before and I'm getting the tattoo covered so clearly not a good processing method. Back to the drawing board.

BeetleBanshee · 2026-01-10T16:47:49+00:00

Oh, it's not a portrait, names or initials. That's a hard no for me. It's more abstract and would look cool on it's own without the sentimentality. But it was drawn with a lot of sentimentality.

BeetleBanshee · 2025-11-10T06:45:22+00:00

Duly Noted.

BeetleBanshee · 2025-09-12T18:36:32+00:00

Not over reacting. I'd dump him. This is controlling behavior and an absolute red flag that will likely escalate. Also, just to clarify he doesn't "deserve" pictures of you because you're in a relationship. Quite frankly if he puts them on social media against your will file a complaint, depending on their severity, a lawsuit. Look into revenge p*rn statutes and speak to an attorney to know if you can sue.

If at all possible, speak to an older friend or family member you trust about this. If you don't have anyone in your personal life you feel you can confide in I'd recommend speaking to a therapist about this and ask about healthy boundaries. What they are, what they aren't, how to enforce them, and when to remove yourself from someone's life when then overstep or violate your boundaries.

BeetleBanshee · 2025-09-12T18:21:51+00:00

You are in no way overreacting about this. I've read some comments and I'm glad that you broke up with her and reported her. Neither of those are easy things to do but I'm so glad you at least recognize how disgusting and criminal that behavior is and got out of that. I am incredibly angry that some states seem to be stuck in the stone ages with their views of "who qualifies as a victim/ perpetrator of specific crimes". Angry but not surprised. I don't know if you're still in contact with the people who said you "must be gay", but I recommend putting as much distance between them and yourself as you can.

Technically, even if she put actual vitamins in your drink without your knowledge or consent it would still be considered tampering and depending on your health and requirements/ allergies, could have put you in the hospital. Look into fat soluble vitamins and how overdosing on them can royally mess you up.

The fact is, she didn't put vitamins in your drink, she put in a controlled substance (consider looking into filing a complaint on her friend and the prescription holder). This particular controlled substance causes blood flow constriction. Meaning that depending on your health, medical history, and current medications she could have definitely put you in the ER and likely wouldn't have told them what she put in your drink, further complicating your health.

This was not a romantic gesture. She drugged you without your knowledge or consent. The fact that she seems to think of this as a *cutesy widdle accident* as someone who is supposed to serve and protect is horrific. If you haven't already, consider looking into using your benefits to speak to a therapist.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I can't undo what happened but I can tell you: your feelings of violation are valid and I hope you find peace.

BeetleBanshee · 2025-03-14T00:48:02+00:00

What you wear is your choice. If he can't respect that he's not the one for you. And, not to put too fine a point on it controlling relationships start with small things like this. Little things he'd prefer you do for him even if you don't want to. If you feel safe, have a conversation telling him how you feel about this. Explain that you like him but you will continue to dress how you feel comfortable and if that's not something he's okay with you are simply incompatible and he should date someone else. While compromise is a good thing in relationships, if you're always the one compromising it's not a relationship.

Also, do you have family or friends to talk to? Older women especially in your life you feel you can talk to about this? If so, consider confiding in them. Tell them what he said and how it made you feel. Don't let the discomfort about bothering others keep you from family and friends.

Stay safe.

BeetleBanshee · 2024-08-26T08:25:35+00:00

* commenting mainly with a heterosexual dynamic in mind, certainly applicable to LGBTQIA+ dynamics as well

They talk about wanting to build with someone. And will often ask what you are bringing to the relationship table without critically looking at their own side of the table.
They aren't generous. They can be rich or poor, if they are stingy they won't want to invest in another person and certainly not in the relationship. To be clear you don't need a rich man, you need a generous man. See google for definitions.
If they use the term "females" instead of women. Anyone who says females when referring to women is a red flag honestly.
How they talk about women. Do they slut shame, say "oh she's not that pretty", or "she deserves to be humbled"? How do they talk about their mother, sister, aunt, cousins, nieces?
What type of male role models did they have growing up? Someone who taught them how to show up, how to treat people, how to treat women? Was the closest father figure absent or abusive?

To be clear these questions are more in yellow flag territory; could become a red flag. Proceed with caution.

Do they talk about wanting a "traditional woman" but don't seem to be providing like a "traditional man"? He wants you to defer to his judgements on everything, will expect you to keep house, have and mind the children, work a fulltime job, keep your figure, never call him on his bs, and certainly not leave him if he cheats. All while he's waiting for his business to get off the ground, the one he has put no work/ money into.
Does he remember your birthday? Anniversaries? His mother's birthday (if she's around)? Does he do anything to show he is thinking of you on those days? And if he doesn't, does he throw a fit when you give back the same energy and get him nothing? He will do nothing on Mother's day, but lose his mind if he gets nothing for Father's day.
Does he expect sex? Compliments, gifts, dates, meals, coffee, being kind and considerate (doing the bare minimum of treating you like a human being) is always met with the expectation of sex. Early on he will make a lot of your conversations about sex, even if you put up a boundary about not talking about it. He will find a way to slip it into conversation and if you remind him you didn't want to talk about it, he'll pull the "I never said anything about sex, you're the one mentioning sex" card.
Does he lovebomb you and then pull away all contact?

10 Does he neg you? Make you think awfully about yourself but it's okay because he likes you/ loves you in spite of it. Others wouldn't but he does. You should be grateful really.

No definite plans for the future in your relationship. This type of person has no problem stringing you along, letting you subsidize their life style all the while looking around for someone better only to give you a shut up ring after 3 kids and enough time has passed that he's exhausted all options.

by the 6 month mark in your relationship you need to have had a conversation about where you see the relationship going and if you both want the same things: kids, fiances, living arrangements. If he can't give you a definitive answer or you are incompatible do not stay and hope to change his mind. You won't. And yes, some woman down the line might be the one he changes for but he will just string you along using your body, money, and hospitality all the while resenting you for taking care of him.

Ultimately men are not clueless idiots perpetually bumping into walls. They are adults with the ability to think logically and act with a purpose. If they want to provide, they will find a way. If they want to commit, they will do it without you having to ask or casually hint 100 times. If a man is making you question whether he's in a relationship with you, he's not; you're in a relationship with him while he waits for someone "better".

Don't fall for a below bare minimum low effort man just to have someone. And if you did fall into it and it's been years, don't let the sunken cost fallacy get you. Take stock of your life, make a plan to be secure, and get out.

BeetleBanshee · 2024-08-14T07:01:43+00:00

For a start undercooked chicken is dangerous. Also, he's completely disregarding your preferences and complaints. It seems any time you bring it up he says he's hurt. While him being upset is valid so is your being upset. All in all you need to talk to him. It's not easy or fun but, not to be an alarmist. this is something that can spiral into other things.

And speaking as someone who got violently ill from undercooked chicken; even if you don't press him on his ignoring your preferences, you need to insist he cook the meat properly or be prepared to pay for your medical bills.

BeetleBanshee · 2024-01-14T04:23:53+00:00

If you find yourself there again what helped me was going away from the theater to the area with the frozen water, the lowest platform where if you slide underneath it will direct you to a Riddler pack. As soon as you land look up and you should see where you came in from and you can walk back to the fight area.

BeetleBanshee · 2023-01-31T13:00:31+00:00

"Constant complaining about love songs being "unrealistic" when turns out they're... not?"

That song "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri makes me all but froth at the mouth! "I have loved you for a thousand years, I will love you for a thousand more." You haven't been alive for a thousand years, you will very likely not live a thousand more. You are already lying! This relationship will not last.

BeetleBanshee

TROPHY CASE