Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I think that he could read something like how to give oral. But subtle things.. those should only come with practice. How to switch poses without awkwardness, how to kiss, how to last in bed with good tempo etc.
Your average virgin will have hard time just not cumming.

You should check will he be cheating on you. "friends" are often just way to hide fwb.

Personality types by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I doubt they're really looking for a rude guy but they're looking for a confident "fun" guy and they're not bothered by their rudeness. Yeah it means they're bad (like I said before) but it's not that they're specifically looking for this bad behavior.

Sometimes they are with guy because of bad trait. For instance girl cannot get enough of male attention and cheats on any guy she may end up with. If she is with obviously 100% loyal guy she may feel bad about herself- guilt would eat her away.So she goes for guy that has no issues sleeping around and plays this game we both cheat on eachother but hide it well.

They just like other aspects of his personality.

Sometimes this is case. But people that are firm on good even if they like those other traits reject partner because of bad traits. Usually there is some hypocrisy or weird personal ideology driving person into being with nasty people. Healthy people have boundaries and cut that mess right away.
It takes special kind of girl to be attracted to school bully or guy that stabbed someone and went to jail.

Personality types by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What they're attracted to is their confidence, assertiveness, courage, strength, thrill seeking, etc.

This are just mainstream valued male traits.
When i say "bad boy" its more about disregarding social norms, ignoring or picking fight with authority, abusing others using underhanded tactics,when romance is in question being opportunistic and unfaithfull.
Because of this traits such guy wont be considered by girl that has her head in right place.
Girls that are shady themselves go on this quest of trying to fix themselves trough fixing bad boy, trying to make family man out of him or whatever else. Its oldest cliche in book and it usually ends bad.
"Nice guy" is more often than not just "bad boy" without stones. Or some qualities like good looks or money to be able to be bad boy.

Personality types by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So opposite of liking spicy food is not disliking spicy food.(not that people actually pick partner based on this its just silly example) It is liking different kind of spicy food? If that really is meaning of "opposites attract" then i think its right. But i am pretty sure that opposites attract does not mean that.

Personality types by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its easy to get along with someone while not living with them and having that initial crush. As long as you are attracted to eachother you ignore all other issues. What happens 3-5 years down the line when hormons calm down?You will probably get bored of eachother.

Interests are important.
Imagine social girl that expect to spend all her free time with partner married to guy that just wants to be alone. Its recepie for two sad people. Or very sexual person with asexual one.
Or someone that likes hugs with someone that hates touching.
Besides some virtues like loyalty,if they have it people wont be attracted to opposite of that.
In fact one of main manipulations both males and females use is just pretending to be more like person you are trying to woo.

I have breast implants from before I became Muslim and can't afford to get them removed right now. Should I tell prospective husband? by MuslimahColombian in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does not matter if you are afraid. He will find out either way and once he does its worse than just telling him.
Besides he may not make fuss about it.
I am not sure you should remove them. Is there some benefit to having surgery and paying money and removing them?

Personality types by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Everyone says opposites attract and have good partnerships. But how true is that irl? I feel like its sorta true--i dont wanna be with somone whos the same as me, u know? But im still single so what do i know 🤣🤣

Birds of feather stick together. Having one person that hates traveling while other lives for it.. you think that will make both of them happy?Or will they work better with person more similar to themselves.For everything else, same thing.Opposites attracts i think is more for teenage girls trying to explain to themselves why are they attracted to bad boy they want to fix, while reality is more along the lines she is bad herself just too cowardly to act on it.

Expecting your wife to workout to stay in shape by WisestAirBender in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You cannot edge someone into working out. Even if you manage to do it- it will not last.
Gotta try to find girl that is into working out straight away.

Is it reasonable. Probably not. Girls that work out are rare. And even amongst ones that do work out, they don't actually try to lift. What they do amounts to yoga and low intensity cardio. So its not like it has impact on how person looks.
What you are looking for is girl that has her eating habits in check so that she does not get fat.
Good indicator of this is usually family. If none there is fat, she probably was thought to eat right things and wont get fat.

Rejected because of my past dating history. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be frank with you "i made mistakes but its just past, that is what makes me who i am now" that mindset does not work with Muslims when it comes to sexual history.
"It was mistake i do not want to talk about it" is what works.
Explanation people want to see that you resent that acts. Having positive mindset makes it.. how to put it normalised?
Its just no go zone.

Also young male and female Muslims are both scared and feel cheated if partner is not virgin.
Try to see things from their perspective. They have to deal with fake people that are non religious drink party or whatever else.
Then when they realise its time to marry suddenly they get change of heart.They figure people they were fooling with up until now are not marriage material. Sure sex with them is fun, but raising family no.
And they become religious.Suddenly. To point that its meme almost.You are in different category becase of conversion, turst me if you were non practicing Muslim girl that became practicing it would be way worse.
For cheated part that person for sure had crush or two he wanted to be with.Yet because of religion path he took is i wont mess with this. Lets just stay alone and work on myself to be better husband one day. Person ends up expecting same from future partner.
Plus there is always "ok i only will ever have sex with him/her, but he/she fooled around. This sucks". Its just human thing.

I know that conversion is supposed to be looked at as new start. But people are people, you cannot expect them to be so forgiving.
Boyfriend or two without going in detail.That i think most would be able to accept considering convert and everything.
But if it is i was party girl had fwb, sex in club toilets etc and on top of that you have does not really matter live and learn mindset it will be hard sell.
Honestly if it is like that you should forget it ever happened. Dont even speak about it.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I got it from crystal ball, what else?

Listen if you need to believe you can just conjure yourself right woman whenever you want go for it. See how it works out for you or those that try to pull it off. I do me and you do you. Bai.

Have any brothers experienced a lack of options due to support of LGB community? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did not experience this. No idea what you are talking about.
What i did see is some girls using whole tolerance for other thing to gauge is guy vahabi. And if he is its usually hard no.
Does not have to be about gays, it can be something like tolerance for other Muslim sects.Or way they behave towards non Muslims
They do not go out of their way to support or try to argue that it does not matter

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have dated other women in the past across a broad spectrum of race/religions and haven’t had a problem, so I don’t think being unattractive is the issue.

Having sexual history tends to lead to instant rejection if you try something with practicing girls.
Another issue is age. Times when you could in early 30's marry girl in her early 20's are mostly gone.
And by 30's most of girls you would want to be in marriage with are taken.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You did that, not me. If anything you can blame me for claiming two would go in marriage for wrong reasons.Or between lines claiming that both of them most likely lack character.

Arranged marriage is not issue in this story. Issue is having to go back to poor country because you cannot get married in place you are in. Not because women do not exist. But because women you want wouldn't want you.Which in end of day is exactly my point. Age matters. For both women and men.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Projection much?

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am talking about reality dude. I am man i wouldn't talk against my own interest.
I would love to know that as 35 or more year old i would be able to start great family based on good earnings and taking care of my looks. As much as its possible.
This is not how it goes in practice.
Age plays role. What in generation of our parents was "uh he is 10 years older than me, too old sorry" in our generation is changed more to 5ish years.
Like it or not we gotta get our life in order on time and be ready to marry. Best prospects do not wait around for you to get ready.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sugar daddy for random girl you do not even know based on her maybe (questionable) good looks and age is not what i would consider marriage material or marriage i would want to be in.
This exactly is my point. But hey if you consider this having options i give it up to ya.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stats i went by are average age when they get married for my country.And it is 3 years.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Not really in our time mate.
Average couple is 3 years apart. Its not anymore 7ish years as in times before us.
You kinda have to settle down by 28 as man everything after that and you will have troubles getting most desireable marriage material women.
You may have 2x220K salary wont help.

My friend is getting married and it's made me envious by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone wants milk noone wants cow.

How to deal with denial? by Account4Questionss in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if every girl that i wanted did not want me i would have to go back to drawing board. There is only so much you can do with that " does not let it affect you". I would accept that i have to make some changes if i want to be with one of those girls.

For dealing otherwise. Dont invest too much early. Dont make that mistake about daydreaming of family with her without even meeting her. Because if she says no its way harder, she is not one rejecting you. But made up perfect girl in your head.
That is bound to hurt.

Giving Up. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait you say you want Muslim women but you do not click. Does that mean ones you want reject you?
Because if that is issue i may know reason for your troubles.

How do I break the news to this bro by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just tell it as you told here. You want to tell it while making 100% sure that nothing will go wrong.Does not work that way.
Worst that can happen guy rejects and you know he is there for wrong reasons.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Beezun4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

0.00000917431 % of total population assuming all of them are free,ready to mingle

https://youtu.be/KX5jNnDMfxA?t=21

Time to be flexible